Hi Persuader,

Here's a little fear factor just in time for Halloween and Dios de Los Muertos aka Day of the Dead (which is not a scary celebration, but a celebration of deceased loved ones).

A conversation with one of my students got me thinking about the use of 'fear' in sales. Really, what we were discussing had to do more with cold, hard reality than fear, per se.

I'll put this in the context of real estate just as an example. The cold, hard reality is that what was worth $1.5 million a year ago, may now only sell for $800 thousand. And the hard, cold reality is, this may possibly decrease even more in the coming year or two.

My student asked me, "Would you really emphasize the bleak outlook? Won't that scare the crap out of your potential client?

I told him, emphatically, "Yes and yes."

Why must you emphasize the hard, cold reality instead of attempting to focus on the sunny side of life? First off, you have to talk real to them or they're going to look at you like you're some guy from outer space. Selling yourself as the solution to their problem of selling their house isn't going to happen if you can't sell their house (seems obvious, right?). Reframing yourself as the solution to their problem through persuading them that if they need to sell, and sell now, then they're going to have to face up to that hard, cold reality. They're not going to get what they thought they were going to get based on last year's numbers.

If you sugar coat just to get a listing they don't need you because you can't understand the reality that they're faced with today. There isn't a person in the country, and probably the world over, that feels confident in anything and if you try to act otherwise, you're making a mistake.

This is how to sell in tough times. This is how to do it. This is worth its weight in gold. You need to have the attitude that you are a pro and they are so incredibly fortunate to be able to talk to you and that you can help them, but they've also got to face reality.

So get clear with them. Why did they invite you there? Why now?

And yes, I'm going to scare the stuffing out of them. I'm going to balance that with, yes, it's scary, but it can be done. I'm not saying it can't be done. I'm simply saying, we've got to be smart here, really smart.

Fear works both ways, and so a word of caution here. When you're afraid, you're unconsciously passing on to your fear prospects. You are the rock. You can't be afraid and moreover, you can't be afraid to tell it like it is. You have to just come out swinging.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

I'm sure I've used this quote before while writing a blog post, but it's an incredible quote and it is worth repeating.

"While I'm sure that you're familiar with the notion that the map is not the territory, I'm wondering if you have fully realized that as human beings, we will forever experience only the map and not the territory. We but alter maps. That is, we change people's subjective experience of the world, not the world itself." -- Leslie Cameron Bandler

Let's think about that for a moment. If we don't experience the territory, but we only experience the map, then what are we?

We are walking map makers, cartographers of our own lives and in a sense, we are map makers for the people we persuade. That's an awesome and powerful place to come from.

The issue is this: when we look at anything and everything, we can only see it through our own filters. All we have is our own filters. We don't see anything directly. We see the world and each specific interaction we have through our biases, our filters, our values and our beliefs. We see them through who we are as a person. The only way that we can do anything is to see through our filters and to that end, everything we experience through sight, through hearing, through touch, through taste, through smell -- absolutely everything -- builds our maps more.

Children build maps at high speed because at that point in development, we are a blank canvas. Everything we are navigating is new. The older we get, the more detailed our maps become and to a certain extent the less we change them which can leave us stuck in a rut.

Now this is good news and bad news. It's bad news if you don't know that you or your prospect or client is in a rut and don't know how to persuade your way out of it. It's good news for anybody who knows this because you can un-stick them if you want to do it.

This is a large part of what got me into this field, the idea that I wanted to be able to smoothly get people from where they are to where I wanted them to go. I didn't want to be afraid anymore that I couldn't do it, or I didn't want them to hear no and not know why I got it or almost worse, hearing yes, and not understanding why I got it.

This isn't a simple thing to learn how to do. There's no way I can sum it up in a blog post or e-mail. It's true, some things worth having don't come easily. But with realization comes opportunity. You are your own map maker and can choose to start making that map more expansive and inclusive of so many things including say, learning how to persuade your way through the current rocky economic terrain we're finding ourselves in at this point in history.

To learn more, drop Kim an e-mail at kim@maxpersuasion.com.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"Our mind is capable of passing beyond the dividing line we have drawn for it. Beyond the pairs of opposites of which the world consists, other, new insights begin." - Hermann Hesse

Hi Persuader,

Who am I? Why am I here? These are thoughts that separate us from animals. We also have the ability to drive, finger dexterity with opposable thumbs, and a very strong impulse to cover our animal bodies with clothes, not only to protect us from the elements, but to look sharp and stylish.

When we're talking about the big questions -- the ones philosophers have been asking for -- well, since the dawn of man -- we are expressing the very essence of being human, the state in which we examine our primary state.

Primary states refer to something in our external environment. When we're dealing with our states of being, we are dealing with emotions. When we talk about our primary state, we are referring to events, people, information, etcetera, in our outside or external world. I am happy.

Animals do that. My dog does that. He is happy. He is sad when I leave. He's ecstatic when I throw a stick for him or give him a treat. He is excited for dinner or a walk. His primary state is an absolute pure emotional state. He's not excited about his happiness. He doesn't experience how he feels about feeling sad that he has to be on a leash. My dog doesn't examine his feelings about me leaving, throwing a stick, giving him a treat, having his dinner or taking a walk. He just is. It's a Zen, 'be here now' existence for him.

What distinguishes the way we humans think -- in addition to being happy or excited or sad -- is that we can further examine our primary states within meta states. We can take a bird's eye view and reflect.

A meta state is above or about a primary state or another meta state. When we are in a meta state, we are examining and/or talking about another state. It's that simple.

In order to achieve a meta state, we have to dissociate from our primary state. We can't be 'in the feeling' but instead take that step back, remove ourselves from the actual feeling, and then look at the feeling or what we're thinking about that feeling.

What does this have to do with persuasion? Well, knowing about primary and meta states leads us to an understanding of how people's beliefs work. When we understand our prospects and clients at their core, when we latch on to their values and criteria and examine them in their primary state and then bring them to a meta state about their primary state, we can add in to their model of the world -- maybe marry what we are offering with their criteria.

As Herman Hesse, a writer who was known for his exploration of the individual's search for spirituality outside of organized religion, wrote, "Our mind is capable of passing beyond the dividing line we have drawn for it." This is an extraordinarily meta observation and an exciting place to be.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Man, there's all sorts of chaos going on out there in the world. Seems like with the elections, the bailouts, the hurricanes, the anniversary of 9/11 -- all that, and then the holidays are coming -- more chaos (no matter what you think of the holidays, they are absolute chaos).

This is the perfect time to really check in with ourselves and get some inner work done. As the world swarms around out there, having a solid inner foundation is critical in maintaining our equilibrium. This is the case in good times and bad, however it is mainly in bad times that we rely our foundations in a significant way.

When's the last time you spent a little time alone? Remove all disturbances -- television, computers, your iPhone or Blackberry and cut off the outside for just a little while. I'm not suggesting you have to full out meditate (though there's so much phenomenal benefit to meditation that's an entirely different article), I'm simply suggesting you listen to your inner voice for an hour or two.

There's a beautiful quote by Lord Byron: "In solitude, we are least alone." I think this is just amazing. It's said that we are our own worst enemies, but I've decided that's bad programming and have reprogrammed it as, we are our own best friends.

Maybe use this time to write out your universes or write in a journal. If cleaning soothes you (and I know a few people for whom this is true), then go crazy. Wash that kitchen floor or re-alphabetize your CD or book collection. Hell, why not pick up one of those books and read something inspiring.

If you're so inclined, how about a little yoga? I understand there's a yoga practice where you're moving very slowly in a very hot room. (Not my cup of tea, but I can see how it might be good for the aches and pains.)

What else can you do for yourself? Practice forgiveness and gratitude. I've written about both of these before at length and can attest from personal experience and the experience of many of my students that these are two of the most clearing practices you can perform and will garner for you untold benefits.

And how about this: say no when you don't want to do something. This is a tough one but really vital to caring for yourself. I personally don't have an issue saying 'no', but I've met a number of people who feel that it is rude or they become uncomfortable and worried that they will make someone else uncomfortable.

All of these things not only have the benefit of shoring you up and building and maintaining a strong, unflappable foundation, they will also improve your energy, your mental health, your physical health, your spiritual health, how effective you are in all aspects of your life, how happy you are overall, and it will give you a great outlook when the world outside seems to be instable.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"The results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply." -- Denis Waitley

Hi Persuader,

I've been noticing something fascinating lately that I want to share with you, my readers. I have a group of students who I've been working with, my advanced students, all of whom have been with me for over a year, and I can't tell you how incredibly proud I am of them and the progress that they've been making. I mean, it's really leaps and bounds, off the charts, unhinged progress.

I'd like to give myself a big pat on the back for being such a great teacher and really caring about what I'm teaching them on their weekly coaching club calls and twice monthly advanced calls, but I can't take even most of the credit for the advances I'm seeing despite being the common denominator ; - ).

What I'm seeing as an increase in orders of magnitude of their persuasion skills is a result of their incredible hard work and diligence. I am constantly hearing, especially on my one-on-one coaching calls, how accelerated their learning is coming to them. They are receiving incredible results in an unpredictable economy and realizing that persuasion is reaching every aspect of their lives.

One of my star pupils told me just recently that she's started realizing that persuasion is permeating all parts of her life, not just in business, not just in putting together more contracts, not just signing more deals, not just getting more listings, but all aspects of life. She told me, "(Persuasion) is in everything that I do no matter whether it's business or not. It's to make me more effective. And help me also understand myself better and understand others better. I think I'm achieving that with you."

This was kind of an 'aha' moment for her. It's something I often say to my students, but until they experience it, it's kind of an abstract idea. When you feel the results of your efforts, hard work, and study click into place and produce something quantifiable, that is an incredible achievement.

I will tell you that not only am I proud and thrilled for her, but it gives me renewed enthusiasm for doing what I do when I see the noticeable results in so many folks.

I have some other students, a husband and wife, who are in the real estate business as well, and despite the tough housing market, they are flourishing and really seeing the fruit of their labors as a solid, ever increasing number in their bank accounts and investments. They've also been really polishing their writing skills and have started a mastermind group to share the immensity of their knowledge with others.

I could go on and on with how proud I am of my students and despite it seeming like I'm bragging, I am genuinely thrilled to continue to bring the best and most up to the second persuasion material in existence.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"Properly practiced creativity MUST result in greater sales more economically achieved. Properly practiced creativity can lift your claims out of the swamp of sameness and make them accepted, believed, persuasive, urgent." William Bernbach advertising executive, 1911-1982)

Hi Persuader,

I'll admit it. Sometimes I like to be tricky. I love to play with language. I love to wordsmith. I love to set harmless little linguistic traps and pitfalls for fun and profit.

One of my favorite strategies in this respect is when no really means yes. And this works especially well when closing the deal.

An example of this is: "Is there anything else you need to know in order to go ahead?"

Let's say that you were sold on something, you felt absolutely ready to go ahead and buy it, you had a need for it, you had the money for it, and the person asks you, "Is there anything else you need to know in order to go ahead?"

This question is designed to elicit a no, but in this case, the no means yes (i.e. yes to the purchase of the product or service). So you're ready to go and the sales person says, "Is there anything else you need to know in order to go ahead?" And your response is no.

So what's the power of that? Well, the power is that everybody wants to say no. It's human nature to want to say no to a sales person, so here you get to say no but where no actually means yes. It's relatively simple. You can memorize that one line if you want to, and that's one of the best ways I've ever found to ask.

Now what happens if the person says, yes, that in fact there is something they need to know before they move forward. Well, that's not really a problem. You're still in front of them (or on the phone) and you can give them the information that they need, as opposed to having questions later when you're not in front of them to answer their questions.

It's a really wonderful closing question, actually one of the finest in my opinion. It's very simple, very elegant, and very easy. It's gentle, it's unobtrusive, it's effective, it's strategic, and it leaves you in a good position if the person waffles in some way.

I think that's a really important question that you should learn to ask. And you need to ask it when you notice that the person is really sold. If you ask it before they're really sold, you'll get objections. If you ask it too late, in essence, you'll look like you're not paying attention. So you need to really watch closely if you're going to use this kind of a question.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."
--Melodie Beattie

Hi Persuader,

I like being ahead of the curve. I like being early. I like winning contests and arguments and being tops in my field. In short, I like to win.

Part of what makes me a winner is you. I should say that differently: you, my clients and students, sustain me and inspire me and force me to be the best I can be. You are responsible, in a large part, for how I continue to grow and expand.

I appreciate you and I am grateful for you. I strive to bring you the newest innovations, techniques and strategies in persuasion so that I can return the favor and help you to be all that you can be, to inspire, and help you grow and expand.

Gratitude comes in all shapes and sizes -- a kind word, a short thank you note, a compliment. It also has the added bonus of drawing more things to us for which we can be grateful.

Gratitude should be part of our daily lives and not just reserved for Thanksgiving or receipt of a gift. It can have an impact on us mentally, spiritually, physically, and socially. It shores us up during hard times. Some studies have even shown that a daily serving of gratitude and optimism helps our immune systems. Not to say that we should forego the apple a day, but how about an apple a day combined with appreciation and a positive mental attitude? That would be incredibly powerful.

So thank you. Thank you for learning with me, thank you for teaching me things I may have never learned without you, thank you for your kind words of encouragement, thank you for posting to the forum and doing your homework and referring your co-workers, thank you for reading my blog and making comments, thank you for all of your hard work, thank you for your continued support and appreciation professionally and personally, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your success, thank you for contributing to and being a large part of my success, thank you for your friendship and love, thank you for your insights and constructive criticism on what I can do to better myself and my program.
I could go on and on, because I do experience and feel gratitude for you all on a daily basis.

Now, what are you grateful for? How can even the most chaotic, confusing times beget order and clarity when viewed through the prism of gratitude? And when's the last time you told the people in your life how much you appreciate their support, their love, and their mere existence? I know they would love to hear it.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

I'd like to tell you a story about a student of mine who has experienced something magical as a result of the things he's learning in this course. I know, I know, this might seem kind of self serving, but I'm going to give you the key to his success for free.

This student is doing quite well financially, he is healthy, on the young side, mid to late thirties, he's got a nice house which is almost paid for, no other debt, a beautiful car, and he's a good looking guy. The one thing he felt he was missing was a really happy, reciprocal, committed relationship.

I suppose this falls under the 'seduction/attraction' heading and yet, it is pure persuasion and can be applied to any facet of life.

Here was his problem: he wasn't good at saying what he wanted, only what he didn't want in a mate. Can you see the inherent problem with this? Well, there are a few problems with this, but the main one is, he was operating out of a negative space and not coming from the pure, positive place of being in dominion.

"I don't want another person who's primarily looking for someone with money. I don't want children, so the woman I'm looking for doesn't want them either. I don't want someone who's going to cheat on me. I don't want this, I don't want that. . . '

You get the point.

The second biggest problem with this is that there was a vagueness and formlessness to the type of person he was looking for.

The strange thing is, he didn't do this with his work life or in his relationships with friends and family, he was just stuck with this one aspect and the more 'stuck' he felt, the more frustrated he became thereby causing a chain reaction. . .

So what did he do? Well, as a result of the Universe System, which I go through with all my beginning (and advanced students ongoing), he mapped out exactly what it is that he wanted in a woman. I suggested he make an exhaustive list of all the things he wanted and to keep it in a positive light.

His list included things like, 'I am in a committed, monogamous relationship with a spiritual, intelligent, funny woman around my same age who is healthy, happily without children, wants to travel, and loves what she does for a living."

It went on and on and was as detailed as he could make it.

I'm happy to say that as a result of this list making (and with the help of one of those online dating services where he very specifically outlined his wants and desires), my student has found the woman of his dreams and is planning to ask her to marry him. I couldn't be happier for him.

Of course, there's the in between part between meeting someone and falling in love and getting married, which also include aspects of persuasion (such as creating rapport, mirroring and matching, et cetera), but the first step is to be very specific and send out into the universe exactly what you want.

This holds true for every single aspect of your life. So get out there and make some lists and make them as detailed as possible, to attract whatever it is you want into your life.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"Human memory is a marvelous but fallacious instrument. The memories which lie within us are not carved in stone; not only do they tend to become erased as the years go by, but often they change, or even increase by incorporating extraneous features." --Primo Levi

Hi Persuader,

What is a memory? Wikipedia defines it as an organism's ability to store, retain, and subsequently retrieve information.

We have long term memories, short term memories, working memories, cellular memory, sensory memory -- basically, lots of different ways to remember. The thing is, as Primo Levi described in the quotation above, not all memories are a) real, b) remembered correctly, and c) set in stone.

This makes the creation and utilization of memory and memories ripe for the persuasion picking.

I want to talk with you about creating future memories. This is a really fun persuasion technique. I really like this. Using this strategy you can have someone imagining doing something that will possibly affect them later in such a way that they feel as if they actually did it. Here's how.

Ask your prospect or client to imagine something that you want them to do or would benefit them in some way (i.e. purchasing more life insurance, taking the offer which was a little lower than they were looking for that was made on the house they've been wanting/needing to sell, et cetera).

Next step, talk them through this in great detail. See if you can use as much detail as possible because the detail makes it real. Ask them to pick something seemingly irrelevant that will unconsciously remind them of this like for example a landmark they see on their way home every day or when they put their shoes on or run their hand through their hair. It doesn't matter what it is, just that it is something that happens on a daily basis.

Then what you want to do is rehearse this with them a few times. Say to them, "This is really interesting, so imagine this thing that you're thinking of doing and imagine that you're actually doing it. And now imagine that every time you close your car door, that sound just triggers an image of seeing yourself do it. (Again.) So car door closes, and bam, your unconscious keeps presenting and representing this to your mind, to yourself.

You could ask them to pick something seemingly irrelevant that will unconsciously remind them of what they've just imagined. The words 'seemingly' and 'unconsciously remind' are really powerful. Pick something that's seemingly irrelevant. In other words, you're saying that passing that road sign really is relevant because it reminds you of what I just had you imagine. And it will unconsciously remind them. How are you unconsciously reminded?

The thing is, this bubbles around somewhere inside your prospect's mind and they may even think it's their idea. That's great. That's exactly what we're aiming for.

It's a really fun, powerful pattern.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it." --Leonardo Da Vinci

Hi Persuader,

Rapport is all about blending, becoming one with our prospect or client, blurring the lines between us and them. If it's 'us and them', we're seeing a difference. If it's right or wrong, black or white, up or down, there is a chasm that we need to overcome. We want to eliminate the difference between ourselves and our prospects. You want to blur those lines every which way such that they think they're you. Not so much you think that you are them, although you will, but that they think they are you.

How do we do that? Here's an example: if I were with you and I moved like you move, then what am I doing? I'm eliminating the differences and that's the goal of this whole thing.

The important thing to remember here is that you have to keep your intention intact. You have an outcome driven by your intention of getting the sale. Once that is set, then you go about eliminating the differences so you become like them.

Rapport is an altered state. In this altered state, time distorts and you can enter their reality and bring them to your desired outcome. And you can work with the person as one instead of in addition to them. In other words, you and the person become one.

From this altered state of rapport you can slow down the perceptions of your experience of time. In so doing, you can see more, you can hear more and experience more and this opens the persuasion field giving you more options and control.

Specifically, you can narrow your focus. Instead of taking in the world around you, narrow your focus to something like the rate and depth of their breathing or the colors in their face and how they change, you can also imagine that you are speeding up very considerably and they are slowing down. This is a mental thing so you just need to imagine it. Imagine that your vibration rate is speeding up and that they are slowing down. It's amazing.

Another way to do this is to imagine that time is distorting and giving you tons of time in which to make the sale.

You can look to baseball for an example. The batter imagines that they are so speeded up that when that ball comes, they just see it slowly arching towards them with all the time in the world to swing. They make the ball very big in their mind. They distort a number of visual characteristics so that they can do this.

You can watch and listen to them, to your prospect, far more intently than you are used to doing. All of these things will create this altered state, it will slow down the perception of the experience of time, and it will give you a ton more room in which to persuade.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland