"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Howard Thurman

Hi Persuader,

It is my belief that life is about learning lessons. Early in life we were taught lessons by adults and siblings who might have passed on incorrect information to us and maybe we've spent a long time sorting out for ourselves what is right and what is wrong, what is correct and what is incorrect, what works for us and what doesn't.

If you frame these life lessons as maps, you will see that these maps don't always lead us in the right direction because they are inaccurate; if the map doesn't agree with the reality, then the map is most certainly wrong. So many people get caught up in conflicts because they never realize that the pillars of their education, the pillars of their faith, and the pillars of their social orientation, might not have been laid out accurately for them.

Overcoming this and recalibrating is what persuasion is all about. Self persuasion, persuading loved ones, persuading our prospects and clients -- this is charting new territory and creating a new guide based on what is appropriate and true for where we are now and where we dream of going.

Learning how to persuade ourselves allows us the ability to explore this new territory. When we begin the process of self exploration and self knowledge, we become the cartographers of our lives. This can be as messy or as elegant as you want it to be, it can be a struggle or you can transform with ease. Many people operate under the assumption that change and growth are 'difficult' like child labor. I choose to operate under the assumption that change flows through me and struggle only comes in when I resist.

When I was a young man my father offered to train me to take over for him in his very lucrative business in convalescent homes. My future was laid out before me with all the money I could ever need. Of course, I had to work my way up from dishwasher through the ranks, but if I stuck with it, I would one day be the owner of this in no time.

It was a crossroad. Do I work my way up the ladder to a guaranteed spot at the top in a business that was not in my heart? Or do I go it alone in the world and create something from nothing for myself?

Obviously, I chose the latter. And it was a struggle because at that point I hadn't yet realized the key to living life with elegance and ease and still had old, outmoded information that I needed to shed.

Are you alive? If not, what do you need to come alive?

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

“I don’t remember any mistakes, only the opportunity to overcome problems.” -- James Sorenson

Hi Persuader,

If I had only known. . . I shoulda, woulda, coulda. . . Hindsight is 20/20.

Sometimes we dwell in the past, dwell on mistakes. . . I think if I had only known that gold was going to increase in value so much, I would have invested more. If I had known in the early ‘90s that there were a few tiny startup internet companies that would soon become Amazon, Google, Yahoo, I would have bought up stock like crazy. If only I could have seen into a magic crystal ball the way the housing market was going to shake out. . .

Are these lines of thought useful or helpful? Not really. We don’t have time machines. We can’t go back and fix our mistakes or take advantage of amazing opportunities that weren’t realized at the time.

Mistakes, missed opportunities, things we should have said, should have done -- these are landmines to achieving success. As I’ve said before, what you focus on, you’ll get more of. Focusing on the mistakes only gets you caught up in mistakes. Even framing these things as mistakes or problems instead of opportunities to grow and learn, speaks to the way we set up our universes, our road maps in life.

I love overcoming adversity. I love realizing I’ve made incredible progress on this journey. These things are so much more apparent for me because I’ve made a conscious decision to chart out my goals and challenges from what I want for the new year, a five year plan, and in ultimate life goals, seeing tangible evidence of this progress.

I have a friend who likes to say what you focus on, you will grow. When you take away focus, ignore the thing and give it no attention, it will go away. She likes to use the example of a pimple. What’s the quickest way to get rid of a pimple? It’s not to play with it and fret about it. The quickest way is to absolutely ignore it.

This isn’t to suggest that we become apathetic about the important things in life that need to be changed. If there’s an issue that’s important to you -- say it’s a neighborhood or community issue regarding the building of an eyesore which no one except the developer wants built. Ignoring it will not make it go away. Focusing on the negative will not make it go away. Proactively becoming involved and engaging in the process from a positive place is the best course. And what if you fail? Well, you don’t have to regret not having taken action. And you don’t have to dwell on the negative. You have only to remember that you did everything you could and worked your hardest on something that was important to you.

My suggestion and something I’ve been exploring powerfully is the idea of living in the moment. Look for more soon on how liberating living in the moment is in all areas of life.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"Human subtlety will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple, or more direct than does Nature, because in her inventions, nothing is lacking and nothing is superfluous."
--Leonardo da Vinci

Hi Persuader,

As a young man, I believed in raw ambition, brute force, and getting my way no matter what. I felt like in order to persuade, I had to really work hard, I had to conquer, I had to dominate. Well, thankfully, blessedly, we are not young forever. And we have the potential to mature, to learn, and to ripen.

I now understand that I don't have to be 'in domination' but 'in dominion'. My power doesn't rely on someone else being disempowered, but it relies on my inner sense of power, an assuredness that can only be obtained by being in dominion.

We've all tilted at windmills in our own ways, battling imaginary enemies in fights that are unwinnable (many times that enemy we are battling is ourselves). Why do we do this? Well, because we've got certain frames set in place that we either grew up with or which were engrained in us through schooling or society that say, 'work is hard' and 'achievement only comes through struggle'. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

For years I didn't get that 'struggling with my weight' was keeping me stuck. The languaging was setting up a brick wall. Even the term 'losing' weight is a metaphorical minefield if you think about it. Who likes to lose? Loss is something we strive to avoid.

What happens when we're in dominion is that we release the struggle and live in the now. There is absolutely nothing more powerful than being present. My mind isn't racing ahead thinking, 'I have to have my way' or 'I've just got to make this sale' or 'I can't wait for my date on Saturday night'. . . instead, you're experiencing exactly the moment, whatever that might be. And if that moment is about you selling your product or service to a potential prospect, the best way that moment can be used is in stopping, listening, eliciting, and getting to know exactly what it is that this prospect wants and needs on the deepest level.

It requires intention, attention, and patience. You might not 'get it' right away. You might struggle with your future thoughts sneaking back in or get stuck on thinking of times when you didn't make the sale. Let these thoughts come and go, take a deep breath, and then consciously focus again on exactly what the person you are persuading is telling you.

I will tell you that my life has changed incredibly for the better since I made the conscious decision to be present. Letting go of the struggle to control all possible outcomes and force things has allowed me an inner peace that is indescribable and something I highly recommend. It's the very essence of elegant self persuasion.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude." -Wallace D. Wattles,The Science of Getting Rich or Financial Success Through Creative Thought

Hi Persuader,

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." -Melodie Beattie

Why is gratitude important? When we are grateful for what we have, we draw more things to us to be grateful for.

I mention gratitude at the end of each of my Persuasion Factor calls and my Elite Coaching Club because gratitude should be our constant companion not just a Thanksgiving Day foot note or brief prayer on Sunday. It should permeate all of our interactions.

Experiencing gratitude does not have to be limited to when someone gives you a gift or does you a favor. True gratitude is about looking deeply at our lives and understanding how truly lucky we are to be alive at this moment in time.

I think on this every night and every day. I have a huge list of things to be grateful for, as do all of us: family, friends, colleagues, students, employees, health, financial success, future successes and advancements. I am grateful when it rains (and here in the Pacific Northwest it rains a lot) because I know that's part of why the area is so lush and fruitful. I am grateful when the sun comes out (because, as I mentioned above, here in the Pacific Northwest it rains A LOT).

I'm grateful for simple things and complicated things. And throughout my day, I stop to consider other people's situations, whether they be more challenging or easier than mine, and I am grateful for the struggles I've had to endure, and grateful for the things I accomplish with ease, both, because these are the things that have made me what I am and brought me to this point in life.

Gratitude can be powerful especially if something about our life is not quite right. For instance, if your health is not as good as it could be, instead of cursing our bodies for what they are not, try being grateful for what you can do.

There's an old Irish proverb that says, 'Count your joys instead of your woes; count your friends instead of your foes.' I love this. It's all in where we place our focus. It's all in what we choose to highlight and what we choose to minimize.

When you begin to take notice of all that is good in your life, this gratitude will turn your life around.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Here's a beautiful entre into the powerful world of working with your sub/un/other than conscious mind. It's a physical manifestation as well as a metaphor. It speaks to your ability and willingness to nurture this connection which for the most part, those of us in the West, tend to treat as less than important.

It's simple and beautiful: get yourself a very small plant that can grow to a relatively good sized. When you get that plant home, I want you to talk to that plant as if it is your unconscious mind. Tell it that you need it to grow strong and healthy. Tell it that you are dedicated to its growth and well being.

This plant is going to represent your persuasion abilities at the unconscious level.

Every time you water this plant, every time you nurture and feed this plant, every time you play music for this plant, every time you talk to this plant, you'll want to repeat your intention for it, reaffirm that as it grows, so too will your ability to persuade, your ability to manifest the success, love, prosperity (et cetera) that you are seeking in life. As it grows strong and powerful, so too will everything that you put your mind to.

You could do this with several plants over time, perhaps having one plant per intention.

I've done this many times throughout the years and find it to be a spectacular thing. My wife and I were given a little plant by my wife's mother when we first got married. It was a rare and exotic plant and we decided this plant and was very beautiful.

My wife planted it and we talked to it and I kind of thought it was like a family plant which would keep our family doing well together. The plant grew and grew and grew. And when we moved to a new home, we took it with us. We found when we took it with us that it was actually like three plants, one of them was easily separated, the other two wanted to stay together. So we had three plants growing and growing. It was like our family just kept on doing better and better. It was amazing.

Unfortunately, when we moved again, we were unable to take it because it was now about 7 feet tall and it was more like a tree. What I did was tell it how much I appreciated all it did and asked it to continue to do that for anyone who lives on the property now. We shared a piece of ourselves with this property the way we took care of it and the way we landscaped it, and we hope that this would continue to bring blessings and good things for everybody to come.

I believe we sold our house in 30 days as a result. And I know that my intention will hopefully continue to bless the people there. It's a beautiful thing to do and something we can all benefit from if you add things like this into your life. Even if it's nothing other than just an expression of our intention, then so be it.

I know that thoughts become things and as we think them and repeat them enough, they become solidified and extraordinarily powerful.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities."
--Eric Hoffer

Hi Persuader,

I had a teacher who was relentlessly optimistic and positive about everything. As a teenager, it sort of bugged me because. . . .well, because I was a teenager and teenagers are seldom relentlessly optimistic or positive. Everything "bad" could be turned into something "good" according to this teacher. Setbacks and obstacles were learning experiences. Crushes gone bad and broken hearts were just a preparation for really clarifying what we wanted in a mate. Struggles with certain subjects in school became self challenges that we could, by all means, triumph over.

Ugh. It really annoyed me.

Now, as an adult, and a parent of teenagers (who happen not to be pessimists or negative), I realize that she was 100%, absolutely correct.

We get into these ruts. . . we get into these ways of thinking about things around us that keep us trapped. It's the old cliché of the 'glass half full/glass half empty'.

The events in your life are not what make you who you are, but it is your response to these events that show your true character. Lately I've been really exploring the idea that our emotions and emotional responses to external stimuli, are choices. Emotions are choices. That's a revelation in some ways. It's very freeing. I'm not connected to anger if I don't want to be. I'm not responding with fear because I choose not to. I'm not choosing to be depressed about things I have no control over.

And if you notice, those last three statements are in the form of negative statements. Changing this pattern also requires that we pay careful and patient attention to the language we use. I am . . . I am choosing to be courageous. I am choosing to let this go. I am choosing to realize that I am separate from the things that happen around me.

What if just by readjusting our obstacles into opportunities, we attract more of what we want? What if it's that simple? Wouldn't it be worth it to suspend cynicism? Wouldn't it be worth it to let go of the patterns that have kept us stagnant? I should think so.

I only wish I had learned this lesson earlier. Not that I was a depressed or pessimistic kid, but we all have moments. . . This reframing of struggle into potential and exciting lessons is exactly the kind of thing that we as persuaders can learn from. Framing and reframing our lives and the lives of those around us is absolutely mandatory if we want to succeed in persuasion. Helping others to see that the glass is half full, helping others to see how our products and services will benefit them immeasurably in life, helping our loved ones, our teenagers, to realize that every day we make the choice (many times unconsciously) to be unhappy, is a real revelation. Let's make our choices consciously and use that consciousness for relentless optimism.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great." -- Mark Twain

Hi Persuader,

My clients and students are at the top of their respective games. I know this, because I work primarily with very high end financial advisors, real estate agents, speakers, sales professionals, and the like, and they did not get to where they are by falling into it or because of luck. They got there because they have goals, they have work ethic, they have the intelligence, they have the education, and they have ambition.

Ambition is a very interesting force. Some people have it, others clearly don't. What is the difference between the two camps? Is it an internal spark? Self confidence? Is it something you have to be born with or something you can acquire? If you think about some of our more recent presidents and the raw ambition it takes to become president, and then consider their brothers (just as an example -- Bill Clinton/Roger Clinton, Jimmy Carter/Billy Carter), then we can sort of see where this isn't much of an argument for the genetics of ambition.

The true mark of an ambitious person is being able to bounce back after a setback, not getting mired down in the 'oh, woe is me, I didn't achieve what I wanted to', that many people succumb to after not at first succeeding. Real ambition lays in the 'try, try again' part.

This pulling yourself up by the bootstraps mindset was so well illustrated by Thomas Jefferson when he said, "Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."

So it's all a matter of -- do you want it or don't you? If you want it, and you don't have it, what are you doing or not doing that's preventing you from having it? If you want it, and you don't have it, that's enough of a start, it's a platform from which to make that jump.

Stop one: start with a simple list. I'm a HUGE fan of lists. Make a list of what your goals/ambitions. Get specific. These things don't come to fruition if they're vague and unformed in your own mind. Get down to the nitty gritty details. Flesh it all out and read over it every morning when you wake up and every night when you go to bed. This will speak to your sub/other than conscious mind and set it up to help you begin to form solid plans for how to achieve the goals you have in mind.

And if or when you cup up against some adversity, remember that the small defeats are not the end result. The end result is your goal, the small defeats are tiny speed bumps (or flat tires) along the way -- both overcome-able and temporary.

My last bit of advice -- start now. Do not pass Go!. Get to it.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

I'm often asked to listen to speeches or presentations or interactions between my students and their prospects to give comment on what more can be brought to their individual persuasion skills. The sad fact is, I haven't figured out a way to extend my days. I've only got 24 hours, as do all of us, and I simply don't have time to help in this way.

The up side is, if you're in my Elite Coaching Club, you are either fully capable of critiquing yourself, or you're on your way to being there. My suggestion is that you record yourself doing your presentations or speeches or calls or interviews and listen to them. I guaranty you will find this valuable.

All you have to do is listen to your presentation with the following in mind: Do I have rapport? Listen to it again and ask: Am I using the presuppositions affectively? Listen to it again to determine: Am I using their criteria affectively? How about when they objected, where could I have heard that earlier on?

What follows are some frames within which to listen to your presentations.

What's the level of rapport that you're hearing taking place? Is it strong? Could it be stronger? What would you have to do to make that stronger?

What is the overall frame you've set from the minute you begin interacting with those people? With your prospect? What's the overall frame you're setting? Is it one of authority? Is it one of one down and they're one up? Are you one up and they're one down? Are you equal? How do you come across in terms of the overall frame you're setting?

What are the presuppositions that you can identify quickly that you're using throughout your presentation? Are you using them well? Are you using them a lot?

What are you using? What are you using well? What could be used better?

Where are you getting objections? Where could you have become aware of the objection much earlier on in the presentation?

So let's say you have an hour presentation, you're listening to it, and you know that at the end, there's an objection. Where could you have heard that earlier on? How could you have become aware earlier on of what happened and how could you have framed against it earlier on maybe even at the point of the criteria elicitation? How could you have heard what was going to come out and then framed against it?

Re-listen again and ask yourself: Did you get and use their criteria? And did you continue to reference it throughout the presentation?

And again listen to it and determine: How do you feel about the length of time you were there? Were you there too long? Were you not focused on your outcome well enough or were you focused on your outcome well enough? How long were you there? How much time did it take and is that justifiable time?

If you've been studying with me for any amount of time or have been involved with my work in the least, you will begin to understand the frames I'm using to listen to you and you will be able to hear yourself with my ears in that respect.

For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, and if you're signed up for the Persuasion Factor or in my Elite Coaching Club, you will shortly know exactly what I'm talking about.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear."--Mark Twain

I looked at the definition of courage in the dictionary. And found an interesting definition. 'Courage: The quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc. without fear or bravery.'

I'm not sure I buy into that one. To me, courage is doing what needs to be done in spite of fear. I think bravery, for example, in particular is a way of thinking about our lives such that we are doing what we need to do even though we have fear about doing it.

People that are really genuinely brave don't have a lack of fear. They're acting in spite of it. And so I'm going to define courage as doing what needs to be done in spite of fear. That's real courage. Courage has within it an element of fear. If it didn't, why would we need courage? If it were old hat, common place, then why would we need courage?

Courage is doing what needs to be done in spite of what fear might be there.

Stop for a minute and think of a time when you should have taken some action but you didn't. And I want you to remember why you didn't act. Think about this. Why didn't you act?

I want you to think of another time when you needed to act and you did not act. Or you didn't act as fully as you should have. And I want you to remember why you didn't.

What were the similarities between these events? What was common about them? If you think about it, you're going to find that there was one common denominator, and maybe you'll find a bunch, but there's at least one, and that is there's probably some kind of fear.

So here's the question: What would have happened had you acted anyway? Go back to those two events that we just thought through. And ask yourself what would have happened had you acted anyway. Would it have worked out? What's the worst that would have happened had things not gone the way you hoped?

Let's go back to the first event that you thought of and let's just say that whatever this event was, you chose either not to act or not to act as fully as you might have.

Might you have had success? What's the absolute worst thing that would have happened had things not gone the way you hoped for? How bad could it have been? Would you have been thrown out? Would you have been cursed at? Would you have been told no?

And my next question is: Could you have lived with that? And I'll bet you money that the answer is yes. I'll bet you money that the answer is yes, you could have lived, with the worst that would have happened had things not gone the way you hoped for.

Oscar Wilde once said, "One's real life is often the life that one does not lead."
What is the real life that you're not living because of a lack of courage? Conversely, in what ways have you acted despite your fear that have changed your life for the better?

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Despite the predictability of human nature, we're pretty complex creatures. Even if all things were equal (education, parenting, etc) where one person is achieving goal after goal, others get stuck in holding patterns.

Maybe you're in a holding pattern, feeling unable to escape your current state of complacency and you really want to change your approach to selling. The first step is: begin to change.

It's easy to be overwhelmed by how much change must take place in order to achieve your goal. But taking things one day at a time and simply beginning at the beginning, by taking that first step, you'll soon realize how much progress you're making already.

To quote David Viscott, "If you could get up the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed." And since you're reading this article on MAXpersuasion.com, you have already begun shifting your focus from complacency to an entirely new understanding of persuasion and ultimately you're on the road to being able to persuade the affluent.

You don't have to map it out alone. Having taken your first step, the next is to get one of the basic programs, like the GSP e-course or The Persuasion Factor. Or, if you're seriously ready for a dive into the deep end of persuasion, my Elite Coaching Club is absolutely the way to go.

Some past highlights of Elite Coaching Club lessons which will be interwove in future lessons: The Importance of Rapport. How to get it, how to keep it; Criteria: The hot button of persuasion. If you've got your prospect's criteria, you've got the sale; Framing--shifting your prospect's perspective to include your product or service. And lately, we're really delving deep into framing and we're going to continue deeper yet.

More and more our lessons have really begun to focus on the work we do with the affluent clientele we're looking to persuade and as we move forward, I'm going to aim, with laser-like precision, at just this target audience. Why not focus solely on the affluent? They're the ones with money.

On the flip side of these persuasion skills, we also work on the fundamentals of human nature using ourselves as the guinea pigs. If we can't persuade ourselves, if we can't understand what makes us tick, there's absolutely no way we're going to persuade or understand others.

With that said, we explore a huge variety of techniques from mapping out our personal, business and public universes in order to learn to manifest exactly what we want to investigating our relationships with intention so as to set ourselves up for success every single time we put our minds to it. We work on clearing out our subconscious minds, eliminating distractions and the things that hold us back, at the same time learning how to communicate with our other than conscious to aid us in our learnings. And we use an unbelievably revolutionary technique to tap out emotional resistance in ourselves which I credit for being one of the top three triggers in the shedding of 140 pounds of extra weight I had been carrying for years.

The Elite Coaching Club is exactly that: Elite. It's not for the faint of heart. It's for people who actually want to get down to the real work of supercharging their lives on all fronts. Another advantage: you'll be working directly with me and my advanced student who are the tops in their fields and are growing and achieving in ways they weren't even aware were possible.

By all means, start with the GSP e-course, work your way through the Persuasion Factor, and when you're ready for more intense work, contact Kim and find out about the Elite Coaching Club.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland