“That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.”  Friedrich Nietzsche

Dear Persuader,

I had a dream about shoes last night.  Shoes have always been sort of an issue for me because I have large feet and it hasn’t always been easy to find ones that fit me (especially before the internet existed and before I had the means to have custom made shoes).   This dream was about a quest for the perfect pair and it began with the frustration of never being comfortable, having blisters, feeling exhausted at the end of the day, having to loosen the laces after a few hours, really being miserable on a daily basis because my feet hurt like the dickens.

And then finally I experienced the excitement of finding a pair that fit perfectly and comfortably.  Like Cinderella and the glass slipper, I went through ups and downs in this dream and it put me in mind of the Hero’s Journey and how anything we struggle with can be put to good use in the stories we bring into our persuasion.

It boils down to inspiration and relevance.    What does your topic have to do with your business?  What does it have to do with where you are today?  Do you feel passionate about it?  Is it topical and interesting?

My dream was very detailed.  The shoes I eventually found molded perfectly to my feet and it felt like I was walking on air after I put them on my feet.  There was no tightness or pressure.

I started out by telling you how much pain and frustration was involved and moved into the pleasure and satisfaction of finally finding a good fit. This outcome became more important because I started out by telling you about how uncomfortable my feet were at the beginning of the journey.

With your stories, your journeys from darkness to light, from poverty to affluence, from sorrow to happiness, from instability to security, you can give your prospects and clients glimpses into who you are and where you’ve come from to create the person you are now.  A very useful side effect of this is that these glimpses into your inner workings create deeper rapport and an almost instant trust (if crafted well).

Did you become a financial advisor because your father died at a young age leaving your mother to struggle to support your family?  Did you get into real estate because you grew up with a friend whose family lived in a small apartment?  Did you make mistakes you’re not proud of but which taught you valuable lessons about honesty and integrity?  Fill your stories with emotion and personal revelations and all those things which did not kill you, but made you stronger and more powerful and I can guarantee you that not only will they connect you deeper to your prospects, but they will connect you deeper with yourself.

Come up with a few stories and polish them.  They can be one minute long, two minutes, five minutes, and they can be touching or humorous.  The key is to link them back to you, your product, and your service.

Be sure to post your thoughts and comments... even your journey on the blog below.

Here's to the hero in all of us.

Kenrick

Hi Persuader,

I'm so excited to be beginning a new chapter with my students. In the last month we've embarked on an amazing, transformative, and very practical journey together that starts with a pen and piece of paper (or for those of you who don't know how to use a pen and piece of paper anymore in this world of iPhones and laptops -- all you need is a blank Word document to get started).

I am basing this teaching on a multitude of research I've done over the last 30 years and some of the luminaries in the power of story such as Joseph Campbell and his work on the Hero's Journey, and Dr. Jim Loehr (the chairman and CEO of The Human Performance Institute) in his book "The Power of Story".

Our stories are unique tools in which we can harness our power of to affect those around us. This can be in business, sales, with employees, in seduction or with our spouses, with our children, and even with people we come into contact with in life either on the phone or in person -- bank representatives, grocery store clerks, mechanics, police officers, our kid's teachers.

All great speakers use stories. One of the main differences in the last election was Barack Obama's ability to persuade (I've been saying for over a year that if the race were all about persuasion, Obama would win hands down). Another big difference was Obama's knack for storytelling and how he was able maintain a narrative that was compelling. It's a classic 'rags to riches' story and it resonated very deeply with many people who would not have otherwise voted for a democrat or who would not have otherwise been of the mind to vote for an African-American (for whatever reason).

Tony Robbins also has a 'rags to riches' story which he tells during his talks. (On a side note, when I entered 'rags to riches' into Wikipedia, I found a fascinating list of celebrities and politicians who have the same basis for their stories.)

But even if you grew up middle class and haven't struggled financially in life, you have a story and likely, a fascinating story. If you're not where you want to be in life, if there's something you haven't achieved, then there is work to be done on your story.

In "The Power of Story" Dr. Loehr talks about how the stories we tell ourselves and others are oftentimes flawed and keep us locked into situations that are unsatisfying. By simply rewriting our stories, we can transform our lives. It's a simple process, but by no means easy. It is deep work that has the potential to create a bit of upheaval in your life and the benefits will be immeasurable.

It's time to evolve that story. So take that pen and paper and start with "you" and ask yourself these questions: Where am I going? How did it come to this? What do I want? What's the meaning of my life?

This is the jumping off point. I'm right here with you. I've begun my journey and my students are beginning their journeys. If you have an interest in joining us in this learning, contact Kim at Maxpersuasion.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Lately I’ve been really exploring the power of stories in both my own learning and in my teaching. We all have a story with many story lines, interwoven throughout our lifetimes. This has been an incredible journey bringing up memories I thought were long gone. My story today has to do with setting little markers for yourself. When you have a goal, parsing off the route to this goal, helps make the steps manageable.

When I was a kid, my father and I went hiking on the Pacific Crest National Trail. We had big backpacks, food for two weeks, a topographical map (though we didn’t need it, but dad brought it for teaching purposes, I think), canteens, sleeping bags, a tent, and most importantly for me, blister pads. My dad carried with him a folding chair so that when we stopped at night, he’d have a comfortable place to sit. He dropped off our car quite some distance away and had somebody drive us to the trailhead and drop us off. We drove for half a day to be able to then hike this far over two weeks.

We started off at the top of a summit. As I stared off into the distance, I couldn’t believe how long it was going to take us to get back to our car. I remember thinking to myself, there’s no way we’re ever going to reach it. No human has ever walked so much. (We hadn’t gotten to the Lewis and Clark part of school by that point.)

The first day, every step hurt, I was miserable and couldn’t experience the beauty. After that we got into a rhythm. We would make little markers for ourselves, when I make it up that hill or to that tree, I get a sip of water.

Before I knew it, I was standing at the summit of one of the major hills that I had seen from our trailhead starting point. As I looked back at all the ground we had covered and I thought, I can do this. I looked at the map and thought, hey, we’re more than half way there. I can most definitely do this.

Another thing I strongly remember from this very long hike with my dad was that he entertained and probably distracted me with the storylines and a little bit of dialogue from the James Bond movies that had come out over the past few years, the mid to late-60s, of which we were both fans. So really, when I think back, I’m reliving multiple stories within the story of this special time with my dad and the wonderful life experience he gave me for those many miles.

These kinds of realizations started to sink in. I continue to use this process to look at how I can see things that seem insurmountable as merely stepping stones instead of a brick walls, and I realized, at that moment, the brick wall had become a summit.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

In business, we have rules of decorum, obviously, but I am of the opinion that some rules were meant to be bent. Not broken entirely, but molded and bent to suit your persuasive needs.

Part of "professional decorum" is not getting "too personal". But I contend that personal is exactly what people crave.

Storytelling is an art, as much of life is. Being creative within the context of a business relationship is an amazing way to make and keep lifelong clients and customers.

Something that creates a sense of rapport in a very fast and powerful way is the statement, 'Let me share a secret with you. . .' Hmm. A secret? Doesn't everyone want to know a secret? Doesn't it make you feel "special" to know that you're about to be one of the special few that will know this information?

Working 'secrets' and personal anecdotes (nothing absurd, but definitely pointed and geared toward the matter at hand) speeds up our client's and prospect's trust in us as the answer to their needs.

In seminars I often share personal stories from my youth. I have even been known to really open up about some mistakes I've made in the past as they relate to persuasion in terms of not really completely understanding that honesty and integrity have always got to be the highest things on the list. These are very difficult stories for me to recount because I'm not particularly proud of tactics I used as a young man. It's not pleasant to relate things that I feel are real blotches on my personal inventory. And yet, because I have learned from my past, overcome incongruencies in my way of existing in the world, a little discomfort can be endured because I'm making a point, teaching a lesson on what to do and what *not* to do.

When I get into the more personal aspects of teaching like this, I also make sure to step outside of the first person and enter into a meta state to explain how this personal storytelling can really be an art.

When you think about it, you can be an artist at nearly anything. You can be an artist at creating amazing friendships. You can be an artist in business. You can be an artist of persuasion. Some of our creativity within certain arenas is natural. . . we've got it to start with and we can make magical things happen as a result of it. Other things are learned. I wasn't born the persuader I am today. I have put years and years into my art and each and every day I wake up and realize what all that hard work has done for me.

My suggestion. . . find a personal story that relates to your business and start relating it to your prospects and clients. Watch how this quickens rapport and trust by magnitudes. We all crave a good story.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

I cry during movies. I'll admit it. I'm absolutely comfortable with it and not ashamed in the slightest. Stories have been used to elicit emotional responses, whether by design or by accident, since the beginning of man and some of the best stories are extraordinarily moving. That emotion may manifest as heartbreaking or uplifting or revolutionary or life changing-but the important thing to remember is that it is an unbelievably powerful opening-a hole, so to speak-that can be filled up with a message.

When we tell stories in business and when selling, we need to keep in mind the emotional state the story is going to put our prospect in. When we're persuading, we're really using stories to control emotional states. The value of a story is as much in the emotional state it puts my audience in as it is in the point that the story ultimately makes. (See: 'Master of Stories' for more information on 'the point' of a story.)

My preference is that a story does both-that it makes a point and puts someone into a really profound state. What I want to do is I want to carry people away. I want them completely carried away.

We can have an arsenal of emotionally persuasive and powerful stories at our ready at all times. For example, take respect. To a more affluent and, perhaps elderly clientele, respect is quite possibly a motivating factor.

I try to really instill in my son a sense of respecting his elders and I wanted to reinforce the point that respect is paramount in dealing with people with him at his martial arts lesson the other day. In front of my son I was talking to his Sensei and I said, 'Sensei, I wanted to tell you that at the last belt advancement that I was just at with my son, I was really impressed. There was a man there that must have been in his seventies.' And Sensei smiled broadly and he said, 'Yes. He's about 73.'

And I said, 'He was up for the test to advance his rank. When it came time for his sparring, his sensei jumped up to spar with him. I noticed that the older man was having to think before reacting, he would see something coming, he would stand there for a brief second and then he would react. It was clear that his faculties weren't as sharp and his body wasn't as quick, but yet, it almost brought tears to my eyes to see this man walking into the ring, walking onto the mat and doing his level best. Moreover, it impressed me that his sensei made him look so good. He respected him enough to make him look good. I realized this wasn't about outperforming the man, it was about respecting the human spirit.' My son's Sensei just beamed and he responded, 'That's absolutely correct. You've got it right on all fronts.'

There's a two paragraph story on respect that elicits an emotional response. Its goal was that I wanted my son to understand how important it is that we show respect to our elders and that this was a way the sensei showed respect to this man far his elder.

The story worked. It did exactly what I wanted it to do. And the story really touches me, profoundly. I have great love for both the sensei and for the older gentleman in the ring.

So with emotional story persuasion I'm looking to constantly maneuver the emotions because if I can get you opened up emotionally, I can put anything in that I want.

So now I've told you a story about respect. If I'm in front of the room talking or I'm relaying this to a client, what's that going to do? It's going to show you I have respect for my elders. If you were an older person coming to me for financial advice or to buy property or to improve your business or in any way to move forward in your life, what might you now believe about me as a result of hearing that story? That I'm highly respectful.

It manages the emotional state. This guy's a respectful guy and he values our older citizens. So now we have the frame of respect set. Within that let's leverage knowledge so the next story might be about the knowledge that somebody has that made them like an undiscovered hero. Then we'd have respect and knowledge.

What are some of your stories that might elicit deep emotional responses and how can you incorporate them into your persuasion repertoire?

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

'Facts and figures are forgotten. Stories are retold.' -Jeffrey Gitomer

Hi Persuader,

Unless you're a really mathematically oriented person, you're not going to remember the charts and graphs of a presentation, and neither is your audience. If you give presentations to groups of people, while sometimes you may need to get specific, the real core, the real power of your presentation is going to be 'The Story'.

I used to believe I wasn't a very good story teller. I didn't have any shyness or esteem issues where my persuasion skills were concerned, but up until a few years ago, I didn't really think my stories were actual stories. I didn't understand that MY stories are the real juice, the lifeblood of my persuasion.

We all have a story. In a previous article, 'What's Your Story?' I described how stories work. But your story may not have presented itself to you. It might be a tangential story. The most important story you can tell in relation to your business may be your grandparents struggle. If you're a financial advisor, it may have to do with your father's financial ruin when you were very young. If you're a realtor, you might have a story about someone who you sold a house to whose life was changed irrevocably for the better.

Your object in telling a story is first to get the listener to agree with you. Once that happens, persuasion is inevitable.

The most important aspect for your story is to have a point. We've all heard meandering speeches about someone's surgery or the kind of day they had that never, ever get to the point. These are NOT the kind of stories we want to tell in business.

Our stories have to have a similarity to the situation to which we're presenting, as well as the important aspects of 'The Hero's Journey'. (If you're not familiar with 'The Hero's Journey' by Joseph Campbell, become familiar with it. It is the single most important work on archetypes and stories starting pulling from sources back to the dawn of time, and has had profound impact on my teachings and learnings, as well as the teachings and learnings of millions of others.)

With a story, you don't have to start at the beginning. In fact, there's usually a lot of wasted words at the beginning of a story. A writing teacher I once knew had a general rule that the first paragraph or two of a story was completely dispensable. By starting in the middle, or even practically in mid-sentence, the audience is compelled to listen intently. 'What did I miss? What do I need to know for this to make sense? What's going on here? I can't wait to find out.'

Another way to do this is to start with 'the point' of the story and work your way back. Since the point, the outcome, or what you want to teach, is the absolute goal, it's most important that this is crystal clear.

A member of my coaching club actually 'reverse engineers' his stories so that the very first thing he works out is the outcome. From there he works back through the journey that got him to the goal.

When working on your story, begin by beginning. Start by starting. Write, write, write. And when you've written it out, read it out loud. You'll see exactly where it needs to be edited when you read it out loud.

For more on persuasive storytelling, call Kim. She's probably got a good story for you.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

What's Your Story?
Using Stories To Persuade The Affluent

"To be a person is to have a story to tell." ~Isaac Dennison

Telling persuasive stories is the ultimate form of persuasion that exists. People are naturally wired to be able to hear your stories. It's just a phenomenal way to communicate and it's a phenomenal way to persuade.

You literally could do nothing but tell stories and be very, very successful.

If you aren't telling a story and telling it persuasively, you're missing out on a huge amount of persuasive power that you could otherwise have in your possession. Stories put the listener in a place that let's him/her more easily accept what's being said. Stories bypass resistance and touch the heart. That's the key. Everyone wants to feel proud and important. You can tap into these feelings very effectively with stories.

People need to have faith in you, to believe in you, and stories give you the chance to persuade them to do so. Facts, on the other hand, will not accomplish that.

Most people have well-trained B.S. detectors. They don't want to feel persuaded; they want to make up their own mind. Stories give them the ability to make up their own mind the way you want them to, to see what you want them to see. That's the beauty of stories.

People need to have two questions answered in order to trust you: 1) Who are you? - which is what you're going to be focusing on - and 2) Why are you here? Once they know those two things, they can trust you.

When you're sitting down in front of an affluent prospect talking and they don't know who you are or why you're there... they're not really going to trust you.

You could say "I'm an advisor and they need help with their money." Nope. That's not it.

Your affluent prospects really have to know who you are and why you're there.

Imagine the power of this strategy. Now imagine it combined with the physical and verbal rapport techniques that I teach in my Persuasion Factor program and with my Elite Coaching Club members.

Now do you see why it's important to keep sharpening yuor saw with these techniques?

There's so much to learn. If you feel like you need more support, you can wait to read all of my future emails in the coming months, or you can get on the fast track by starting with my Persuasion Factor program. www.PersuasionFactor.com.

But it's a beautiful thing to be able to add all these techniques and strategies together and telling a story is the perfect format for doing just that.

A story can drastically speed up the process of learning who you are and in turn cut down on the time it takes for your clients to trust you. Instead of having to discover who you are over a long period of time, a story can stimulate the clients into seeing that very quickly.

Stories mesmerize and suck people in. They fit into the indirect permissive model, not the direct authoritarian model of communication. And once again, therein is one of the most significant powers of stories.

What's your story? Are you from humble beginnings? Have you overcome adversity? Did you beat the odds in some facet of your life? Is your story a fairy tale?

Map out your story - could be something as simple as your struggle with an employer that forced you to set out on your own and seek your own fortune, or it could be something as vast as a family history. You'll know it when it feels right - and so will your affluent prospects.

Until next time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland