Dear Persuaders,

I really like you, but...

I agree with you, but...

You look great in that dress, but...

Do you get the feeling from these three examples that whatever coming next might not be so good?

Precision with language is one of the hallmarks of a world class persuader and the big ‘but’ is a huge negator which can cost you persuasion power.

‘But’ actually weakens your ability to persuade others.  Whether you use it in print, in conversations, e-mail, or any other form of communication, it’s a tiny yet dangerous word.

How does ‘but’ hurt you?  Well, let’s take the examples above.  Have you ever had a romantic interest say to you, ‘You know, I really like you a lot, but...’?  What usually comes next?

Well, how about, ‘...but I really just want to be friends.’  Yikes!  Or I’m sure we’ve all heard this at least once,  ‘...but I’m just not ready to be in a relationship.’  Ouch!

Then there’s, ‘I agree with you, but...’  But what?  ‘But it’s just too expensive.’  Ugh.  ‘But I still think I’m right.’

Using ‘but’ in the sentence negated everything that came before it.  What ‘I agree with you, but...’ is really saying is, ‘I don’t agree with you.’

Another thing your big 'but' can do is make you sound indecisive, wishy washy, or like a dreaded waffler.  It softens the power and strength of your message, lessens your authority, and exposes weakness and avoiding this appearance of indecisiveness is especially important when persuading your prospects.

What’s more persuasive--using negating words like ‘but’, or a more solid statement like, ‘I don’t agree with you, and here’s why…’?

Take special notice when others use the word ‘but’.  Doesn’t it feel like they’re not telling you the whole story, like there’s something they aren’t expressing, something they’re not saying?

You might even get left with the feeling of ‘What else is wrong?  What else am I not aware of?’

When this occurs, our brains perform what is called a trans-derivational search (TDS) in order to internally search for what’s wrong.  You’re actually attempting to mind-read what you think they’re leaving out.  In most cases, this leaves you assuming they disagree with you.  That’s the opposite of rapport.

I noticed a big but awhile back.  Paris Hilton was being interviewed before she went to jail (the first time).  Her sentences were filled with incongruencies and at one point where she said (and I’m paraphrasing), ‘Well, I feel really bad about what I’ve done and I’m ready to face the consequences of my actions, but…’ and then she just trailed off.  She didn’t finish her sentence.

But?  ‘...but, I’m a beautiful, spoiled, privileged, entitled heiress and I can do whatever I want’?  ‘...but bite me.  I’ll do whatever I please with no consequences’?  See?  That’s where my trans-derivational search went.  I filled in her blank with my own mind reading abilities.  I’d say I’m not too far off on this one.  =)

One of the great secrets to persuasion is reading between the lines.  What people say is what they mean.  ‘But’ is a perfect example of this.  Listening to what people say is your job.  Take a moment to distinguish the actual words and you’ll likely be surprised at what they are really saying.

There’s a really easy way to eliminate ‘but’ and regain your persuasive power.  Simply replace it with ‘and’.

Instead of, ‘I agree with you, but I still think I’m right.’ Try, ‘I agree with you and I still think I’m right.’  Instead of, ‘I really want to hire you, but we can’t afford what you’re asking.’  Try, ‘I really want to hire you, and we can’t afford what you’re asking.’

Notice how this gives you more credibility when speaking to others.  The more congruency you have in your communication and the fewer contradictions you make, the more successful you will be in persuading others.

Warmly,

Kenrick

Dear Persuaders,

This might be kind of a personal question, or perhaps uncomfortable, but it’s something that will advance your persuasion skills immeasurably.   Are you interesting?  In other words, is what you’re saying and how you’re saying it, engaging and appealing to your prospects and clients?  I’m not just talking about the presentation of your product or service, but the before and after talk when you’re simply conversing.

Do you have the ability to talk about any subject off the top of your head?  And I mean most any subject, because the people you’re talking with are going to bring things up and it behooves you to keep up and have the ability to talk about them too.

If you answered no,  you can’t converse on most any subject, here’s a good creativity exercise for you that will help you to gain power with this ability.

Pick a word, a noun, a person, place, thing, or idea, and then come up with other things that it reminds you of.  This is free association.   For example, the word ‘elephant’.  When you hear the word ‘elephant’, what other words do you think of?  Some that I thought of are: tusks, herds, Africa, large game animals, hunting, knowing when and where you’ll die or issues of death, survival, slow and deliberate, memory. ..  you get the point.   I could have gone on for an hour or more because every one of those words would remind me of other things.

By the way, do you know that elephants know where they’re going to die and when?  There are places called elephant graveyards.  When an elephant gets ready to die, (provided that they aren’t hunted down) they go off to the elephant graveyard for their particular herd.

I’ve also heard that elephants have very sensitive souls.  I saw this on an Animal Planet show.  When I heard that, I couldn’t figure out if the souls of their feet are sensitive or if their spiritual souls are sensitive, because both were present in the story.

See?  There are two interesting (I think) tidbits about elephants.  You wouldn’t believe how much is stored up there in your other than conscious which you can really enhance too.

If you were to do this exercise at least once per day, you’ll find after a few weeks that you start getting far more creative and far more capable of talking on any subject that happens to come up.  It will actually help to make you become more interesting.

Another way to determine if you’re interesting is to record yourself and listen to what you’ve said.  Would you bore you?   Do you have really strange inflections or breathing patterns?  Do you breathe noisily into the phone?  Do you have other linguistic afflictions?  Do you go off on tangents and forget to turn back to where you were heading?

If you have trouble figuring this out yourself, ask a close friend to rate your communication.

If they’re game and actually go through with it, giving you feedback, don’t get mad when they come up with something.

Work on these things and mainly, keep alert.  If you see your prospect’s eyes glazing over or losing their train of thought, or if they begin to fidget check in with them, and check in with yourself.

Kenrick

Dear Persuaders,

I don't have too much to write about today as I'm in deep preparation with a ton of new and exciting materials for you.

Be sure check our blog and read our newsletters as we have a mouthwatering series of things coming for you soon.

We will be having our initial kickoff of these events next week when we will be promoting a must-read book that I personally thought was so good that I recorded a special bonus just for it's launch.  So stay tuned on Monday/Tuesday for more information.

Now... on to some great content...

Every now and then I come across a little something in my files and I think, "Wow... I can't believe I haven't shared this with everyone!"

I just unearthed an interview that I did in July of 2008 with Mike Dolpies and after re-listening to it, I thought you all might enjoy it.

Listen to my interview with Mike

Be sure to leave me your thoughts and comments on the blog.  And as always, if you would like to find out more about our coaching program or about which program might be right for you then contact my assistant, Kim at Kim@MAXpersuasion.com.

Enjoy,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

PS... If the full recording is not playing for you then it is incompatible with your web browser.  You can right click and choose "save link as" to download the file and listen to it in full.

Dear Persuader,

Ever since I can remember, starting from when I was a young boy, I’ve struggled with my weight. I was stuck in a body that didn’t represent my mind’s view of myself, but did represent a weakness I had in relation to food.

It always brought to mind the Andrew Carnegie quote, “People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents.” I knew that this struggle was holding me back from total mastery and it frustrated me to no end.

Those of you who have seen my physical transformation in the couple of years know that I have finally found my motivation.  And I’ll tell you this: not only have I succeeded in making my body healthier, my entire life is exploding with new passion and new ventures and I no longer have that stuck energy holding me back.

I’m by no means all the way there. However, I’m so much closer than ever before. I probably still have 60 more pounds to go but having lost 127 so far, that’s a very significant step in the right direction.

What was my big, swift kick in the butt? Well, the doctors had sentenced me to death. They told me that I had become diabetic. In fact, I had almost died from a diabetic coma. They told me that I was going to be on insulin for the rest of my life and that was that. I was having to inject myself many times a day with insulin as well as taking prescription medicine orally in order to combat this. Now, 127 pounds later, I’m off the insulin, no more prescriptions, the doctor says I’m the poster child in their office for how to deal with this issue successfully.

I had several triggers. First: the doctor told me I would never get off of it and that made me mad. I told him that nobody sentences me to death. He said, ‘can’t’ and ‘die’ and that enraged me.  Secondly: I wanted to see my children grow up, spend a long life with my family, continue to do my work in the world. For a long time that hadn’t been enough to shock me out of my really destructive behavior, but with that first trigger—the anger—the second became an extraordinarily important factor. I realized my mortality and that I was putting myself into an early grave one French fry, one slice of pizza, one pint of ice cream, one candy bar at a time.

Another thing that really resonated with me is the weight loss coach said to me, “If I ate as many carbs a day as you did I would quickly need insulin too. I’d be as big as you. The body cannot process that much. It simply can’t do it. So either you’re going to figure this out and make a change or you’re going to die from it. The choice is yours. You’re going to think that it’s normal to be on insulin and/or you’re going to die, OR you’re going to change. What are you going to do here?”

That was it.  I said, ‘What do I need to do? How do I solve this issue?” And I realized that I had to start eating protein. Even though I had been pretty much a vegetarian my whole life I made a commitment to eat protein and decrease carbs. I stopped eating prepared foods, fast food and started eating right.

I’m by no means perfect and I have other issues that I struggle with all the time. But I’m determined to continue on to overcome all of my challenges. I hope I make it but I’ll tell you what, even if I stay where I’m at, that’s a hell of a success story.

Is a desire and willingness to do something enough? Nope. An intense desire to live, and live without discomfort or disease, was important. But for me I needed to get angry.

What is your trigger for change? What are your stuck points? Where do you need to push the energy through to open up channels?  Are you on the cusp of greatness in persuasion, the precipice of incredible wealth or path to optimal health? What do you need to finally realize you have wings that will enable you to soar to greatness?

This was a big swift kick in my butt and with any luck I can serve in that same capacity for those reading this message. Where do you need a big, fat kick in the butt? Or is it more that you need a big, swift kick in your fat butt? If that’s the case, get off of it, that’s step number one. Step number two, change.

Let’s work together to clear those stuck points.

Kenrick E. Cleveland

PS... Just a reminder that I'm currently accepting new coaching students!  It is currently more affordable than ever so be sure and contact my assistant Kim for details.  Kim@maxpersuasion.com

One of the bonuses of learning to persuade is that we have the ability to work our skills on ourselves.   When we apply self-persuasion, we can naturally accomplish anything we set our minds to.

However, we must set the stage for productivity and there are a number of things we can do to increase our capacity to achieve.  These are simple, practical, and sometimes elusive activities and mindsets that come easily for some and are more of a challenge for others.  With persistence, comes progress.  I promise.

One of the most passive and pleasurable (though sometimes hard to attain from a time management standpoint) is getting enough sleep.  Our brains recharge us as we sleep allowing our bodies to cleanse, repair, and rejuvenate on a deep cellular level.

In terms of maximizing your productivity, think about your own internal rhythms and when you get the most done.  Are you an ‘early to bed, early to rise’ full of energy in the mornings type of person?  If so, try adding ten or twenty minutes to your morning by going to sleep a little earlier.  Conversely, if you’re a night owl, determine when you are at your peak in terms of getting things done.

These next two ideas may seem time consuming, but the energy you will get from them will help you incredibly in all aspects of your life.  Proper nutrition and exercise. UGH!! I know, it’s hard to eat right, junk food tastes good, it’s too difficult to exercise, it takes way too much time. I know, I know.  I used to think exactly the same way, but the myriad benefits you will gain from incorporating these into your life will more than make up for the effort and time you invest.

As creatures of habit, we do the next step instinctually.  Creating a routine helps with both starting a new, healthy habit and eliminating an old, unhelpful habit.  Success comes about as a result of your intention.   We’ve all been in ruts and know that they have a negative frame attached to them.  I’m not suggesting we all get ourselves in ruts where we can’t see the forest through the tress.  I am suggesting that we learn to do certain things without thinking--like taking your vitamins or starting the day out with a light and sound session, or working on your universes or expressing gratitude for the good things that come to you.  These are all routines that have a positive impact on us.

And lastly, creating stress free situations and environments is crucial.  Even if your work requires a certain amount of stress, if you’re constantly under deadlines you have got to make sure there are places in your life when you can simply decompress.   Sleep is not enough when it comes to decompressing either, so there has to be a hobby or meditative state or prayer or quiet time or time in nature, playing golf, playing cards with the grandkids... whatever pleases you--in order to unwind.

Incorporating these five steps into your life will boost your productivity, not to mention your health, well being, and peace of mind.

Warmly,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Dear Persuader,

“There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either in or out. There's no such thing as a life in-between.” -- Pat Riley

We’ve all been there. . . that perfect moment in the business life of a sales professional when we’ve made the sale and turned that prospect into a client.  It feels good.  We’ve done our job well.  But maybe something seems a little off.

This feeling is something to pay attention to.  Commitment is a tricky thing, a loaded word with connotations of “being stuck” and these days it seems many people are terrified of commitment in all arenas.

What should you be watching out for?  When a person gives you a commitment the biggest thing to look for is, are they congruent.  Is the person hemming and hawing?  Do they say things like, “I can probably swing that.”  The word ‘probably’ is a dead giveaway.  So is the word ‘try’.  If someone’s trying to buy or make a commitment, they’re not actually buying or making a commitment.

Were they really congruent when they gave you the ‘yes’ answer? Or were they less than specific?  “Yeah, I reckon so,” they might say.  Well, ‘reckon so’ doesn’t mean they fully agree to it necessarily.

You might be able to hear it tone of their voice (which is a hard one to describe in writing, but you know . . . they stop and start and um and uh).  Does their tone, when they agree, make you feel that they are really not committed?

You need to really evaluate if you’ve gotten a commitment from somebody, are they congruent?  Do they mean it?  If you spot any of the things like I just mentioned, the wisest thing to do is to stop and find out what the issue is.  It’s easier to fix an objection or a problem right then than it will be later on when you gloss over it (and letting the little nagging doubt grow into something larger) and just assuming or trying to convince yourself, well they must have been telling me the truth.  After all, all prospects tell the truth, right?  Just like all sales people do.

The thing is, we are truth tellers.  We tell the truth for all the obvious reasons, not the least of which is, that we want our unconscious mind to believe us.

It’s really important if you see any issues of congruency that you stop and say, “Listen, you know, you told me this answer but I’m just wondering if there’s anything else going on there that we need to explore.”   And then at that point, you’ll be able to deal with it and it won’t become a festering sore that will eventually erupt and lose you the deal.

Here's to staying committed!

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Dear Persuader,

Spring is an exciting time for me, an exciting time for my continuing students, and an exciting time for MAXpersuasion. Spring is when our new students join us.

For existing students, the early weeks of a new MAXpersuasion year are a chance to review and reflect on all that has been accomplished. For new students, it’s a whole new world opening up, a world resplendent with both breakthrough techniques never before taught, and tried and true strategies and persuasion practices culled from the wisdom of ancient works to modern.

I find when beginning a new journey I like to have a map. I like to know where I’m headed and the many ways I can travel to get there. With this in mind, the first thing I go over with new students is the core philosophy of persuasion, the organizing principles that we’ll be studying as we proceed.

Orienting ourselves to maximize our learning begins with harnessing intention. To the extent our intention is working on our behalf, we will experience an amplification of the learning process, an acceleration of how well we do, and an effortless easing of the negative to positive in our lives.

Think of intention as our compass. It guides our behavior and our words, keeps us on track, and helps us anticipate what we’re going to need to make persuasion happen and create the results we desire. The intention process begins with initiating communication with our Other-Than-Conscious mind. This is a two-way road, allowing us to interact with and guide our Other-Than-Conscious to act within our parameters and by our request.

The next step is to externalize what we’ve begun inside with the process of creating trust and rapport with our prospects and clients. Trust is at the heart of every persuasion. Start with this simple truth and you will go far. There’s a name for (attempted) persuasion without trust: coercion. Trust can be learned as can the process of rapport building, and as we begin to build upon our skill sets of persuasion, these are two of the building blocks.

Once these are established, The Cleveland Method will go on to teaching you how to fully and completely get to the core of what your prospect or client wants, not on a shallow level (i.e. I want a new house), but on a deep core value level (i.e. I want to provide security and comfort for my family). This information is pure gold. With it, you can quickly and adeptly tailor your presentation to fit with exactly what your client wants. Instead of throwing all sorts of useless information at them (as with features and benefits selling), you are zeroing in on EXACTLY what they want.

As we continue on our journey together we’ll learn language strategies to create results the likes of which you’ve never before experienced, we’ll discover how to determine specifically what our prospects are saying and determine their models of the world so that we can better direct our words and actions for results. We will go through suggestion patterns which is all about knowing what to say, but also what NOT to say. (There is a list of words that will muddle up any presentation, discussion or communication and that list will be revealed and explained.)

Another core element of our process is the concept of framing. Is it a miserable gray day outside? Or is it a perfect day to cozy up to the fireplace and watch a movie? The frames we set for ourselves, our families, our clients determine how successful we will be. Frames exist in every human interaction and are really the structure of how we view the world. Knowing and understanding these unlocks tremendous opportunities that will make your skills soar.

After we’ve oriented ourselves to working with this powerful knowledge with the utmost integrity, The Cleveland Method delves into social influence skills. This information is dangerous in the wrong hands and have been used throughout history for evil (Hitler’s mass control techniques, cult indoctrination) and for militaristic benefit (the Chinese stratagems, mind control techniques generated in the U.S. military). We also learn how to eliminate resistance and use social influence always ethically and with integrity (without which, a sales person will never rise above mediocre).

We learn about core drives and how to manipulate (not a bad word) these core drives of our clients to sell. We discuss metaphor and storytelling as a way to deliver a pointed, pertinent message that will first, put our clients into a trance, and then easily drop into their subconscious the things we want them to think, feel, believe. Sound powerful? It absolutely is.

Metaphor can be thought of as the ultimate delivery system. I go through many strategies to make using metaphors easy and powerful. We then learn and apply The Hero's Journey to our personal stories and craft those stories to become so powerful that they'll surely sway all those that hear them.

As with any good road trip or sojourn, there is always a fair amount of “soul searching”, that kind of figuring stuff out on a deep level that happens when you have nothing but the open road in front of you. One focus of The Cleveland Method is Universe System.

We use this as a way to re-define the structure of our own selves on a personal, business and public level. The results of taking action with ourselves and using pinpoint precision to identify what's important in our own lives is so powerful and so extraordinarily important in our businesses. When you become capable of truly defining yourself, you'll find that it opens more doors than you ever thought possible.

I’m so excited to begin this journey with you now. If you have ever thought for even a moment that you'd want to study with me... now is definitely the time.

I've just restructured, repriced and revamped my coaching group for the launch of it's 7th year to make it a no-brainer for anyone who has a need to increase their income.

Please contact Kim at kim@maxpersuasion.com or (775) 562-4625 for registration and pricing.

To your success!
Kenrick E. Cleveland
@KenrickC

Hi Persuader,

We live in a world of distractions and this, I feel, is an understatement. We have so much coming at us from all arenas. . . Even as I sit here typing this, I’m getting alerts that I have new e-mail, I’m getting instant messages from my assistant,  the dog wants to play, nature calls, I’m thirsty, the phone rings.  Phew.  It’s exhausting just to write a paragraph with all of the other things intruding on concentration and focus.

There’s an old saying, ‘If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.’  By scattering our energy, we are not giving adequate attention to the important task at hand.

Alexander Graham Bell once said, ‘Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.’

There are so many things we can and may be thinking about when we are interacting with a prospect or client. Our internal dialogue may have us worried about our breath or maybe we’ve got something stuck in our teeth. We might be worried about what the mechanic is going to tell us when we call them back or if the kids got to school on time. Issues large and small will battle for our attention and really what we need to be doing is focusing on our prospects and moreover, focusing intently on our prospects criteria and values.

I think of this focus as a flashlight. For example, if we aim our flashlight at a wall out in front of us, we might think we’re seeing quite a bit.  But say there’s something on a shelf that you really want to see. . . what do you do? Well, if you have a flashlight like mine, you have the ability to make the beam wider or narrower. When it gets narrower, it penetrates further. And when it’s wider, it shows me more space, but less distance.  By beginning to focus laser-like on one aspect, we can see more clearly what we want to see (in this case, what we want to know is what our clients want).

As persuaders, I would say one of the things to focus with our flashlight upon is the identity of the person that we’re talking to.

What did I just do? I adjusted the flashlight. I got clearer about where I wanted to focus.

I like to imagine that the client is a white board, I’ve wiped clean, wiped myself clean, and now they’re writing themselves onto that board of which I’m becoming a part of.  If we can focus on identity as persuaders, this would be a key area for which we can develop parts, a key area that we can frame and reframe. It’s a very powerful area.

The whole point of what we’re s persuaders is to learn to shine that light in various ways to best understand and provide what it is that our clients and prospects want. So take a deep breath the next time you are interacting with a prospect, and really focus that beam on them shutting out all other distractions.

Kenrick

Hi Persuader,

A friend and marketing genius I know recently said to me, “A recession is a transfer of wealth from the scared to the bold.”  This statement stopped me cold in my tracks.  It’s an incredible revelation and a whole new frame around this the current predicament we find ourselves in.

Money is still being spent out there, folks.  The million dollar question is, is this money going to be spent with you or is it going to be spent with your competitors?  Say there’s been a decrease in spending by 5 or 10 percent.  If you do the math that means 90 to 95 percent of the money is out there for the picking.

What distinguishes a skilled sales professional, business owner, real estate agent or financial planner from the rest is the realization that now is the time to boldly hone your message and target your clientele and the ability to enact this honed message.  What does that mean?  For one thing, it means that now is not the time to skimp on your marketing.  Now is the time to reach out to your prospects and clients and delve deep into their values, their needs, their core drives and utilize your persuasion skills fully.

Most people believe that persuasion is something that is done externally to someone else.  This is only half the story.  Persuasion is something that we first and foremost need to apply to ourselves.

To that end, I’m going to share with you the first thing you need to do in this fear-based economy.  This is a revolutionary idea. It’s invaluable.  And yet, it’s somewhat scary.  It’s what is making my students more money than their competitors and helping to keep their clients from straying at the same time that they’re acquiring new clients.

No one likes to be yelled at, no one likes to be on the receiving end of anger or frustration or disappointment or fear or devastation, and yet my advice to you is: get comfortable with being the recipient of all of this.  Here’s the big secret:  Allow your clients to vent.  Most sales professionals will try to diffuse this or wiggle out of it.  Many will become defensive and unload excuses.  Simply put:  Sit there and take it.   I promise that the venting process will allow your prospect or client to release this fear and anger and disappointment.  It’s not going to eliminate it, but it will go a long way to getting them to the point where they are again open to receiving your message.

This most certainly gives you an incredible advantage!

Warmly,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hello Persuader,

Hey everyone, I've just emerged from my persuasion lab where I've created a new motivational recording for you.

It's called "The Intention Multiplier."

If you've studied my works or trained with me, you'll note that I talk often about setting your intention before your persuasion work.

To me, it's integral to my work and success as a persuader.

I don't just walk in and accept whatever happens.

The first step to success is setting your intention.

And since most people never set their intention, I thought I might help you ramp
up your persuasion skills by creating the "Intention Multiplier" recording.

You can't BUY this recording anywhere.

But I will GIFT it to you if you will do me (and you) a small favor.

I'd like to know what your persuasion needs are and I've constructed a short survey.

I'm interested in creating courses and seminars that fit your needs.

So here's the bribe -

I will give you the "Intention Multiplier" recording if you help me help you by
filling out the survey.

Just answer all of the questions and you'll be directed to a secure download page.

I look forward to serving you better and this will help me laser target your needs.

https://secure.maxpersuasion.com/survey/