Hi Persuader,

One of the first things I teach to new students is the process of eliciting criteria. This is a simple process, but not necessarily easy. I am of the opinion that the greatest truths in life are the simple ones, are the clear ones, the ones that make the most amount of sense.

If you haven't yet elevated the elicitation and utilization of criteria to one of the greatest truths in life, you soon will. For me, this ranks right up there with the law of gravity, the law of averages and the law of attraction.

Something came to me this week as I was creating a new lesson plan for my Elite Coaching Club. There was a change that happened in my life years ago that I've identified rather strongly now. I used to sell using SAD -- the standard American diet of poor sales. I used simply regurgitate features and benefits, cross my fingers, and pray that the person wanted to buy what I was selling.

Then came the big shift: I began using criteria and everything changed. I didn't have to cross my fingers anymore because I was selling, selling like crazy, selling like gravity, selling like averages, selling like magnetic attraction.

If you're in sales, odds are you were taught this SAD way of sales. Think back to when you first started this. Do you recall times when your prospect would identify with something that you were saying and they would say, 'Yes! I want what you have to offer.'

Do you recall the elation that you would feel? I hit on something they want!! I think we're going to have a deal here!!

This didn't happen as often as I wanted because this was before I understood the power of criteria and I would just get elated. I would think, I really figured it out this time.

The problem was that the elatedness I felt was transient because I didn't figure it out, I lucked into it.

The fact is that we had successes in the past, but they didn't happen with the regularity that we really wanted. So we began the process of working on developing ourselves. And if you're involved with me, then the process of criteria elicitation has changed the way you sell.

There's an assuredness that came over me which is something I wish for you too.

It's a shift, an emotional difference was one of having the tools and the ability, and it's a foregone conclusion that I would use them to the benefit of my clients and myself, to really ensure that I could do something to help them.

So to that end, I want you to begin to take on that emotional quality as you start to use the tools of criteria. It's a foregone conclusion that you know how and will use these tools to help your client and you come to an understanding of what can be done. And as you do that, you're setting in motion profound levels of rapport and belief in the mind of that client that will easily get them to give you all of the information you need to rapidly secure their criteria, and more importantly even, their high values.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Because I have a teenager, I'm hip to some of the more . . . well, hip things going on out there. And because my business is primarily virtual, I am well aware of the extreme power of the internet. In combining both the cutting edge hipness and the extreme power of the internet, I've recently (I know, I know, it's a little after the fact) become acquainted with Facebook.

I had heard about Facebook, but didn't really understand what it could bring to me, or what I could bring to it. And now I'm sold (despite the fact that it's free).

This site along with Twitter (which I recently blogged about) are social and business networking sites, Web 2.0 style, that absolutely have the ability to revolutionize business.

It all starts out like kids in schoolyard, sort of sweet, like, 'Will you be my friend?' People you've worked with in the past, current clients and potential prospects, people with similar interests, friends that you may have in common, even strangers who just like the look of you or the message you're putting out -- you can respond to their friend requests (or they can respond to yours) and you will get a little message on your thread that simply says that you and that person are now friends.

As I write this, I now have 183 friends and growing, and that after only one month on Facebook. (If you want to be my friend, here's my page: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=715037097)

What are the possibilities here? I happen to think the sky's the limit. (I always think the sky's the limit.) I am looking for people who have their hands raised. This is the real core of marketing and networking. I am looking for people I can connect with who I can truly help to flourish and grow with persuasion training. My intention is to reach as many people I can for mutually beneficial relationships.

On a side note: another aspect of marketing I'm exploring is that I now offer my clients 20% of every student they bring me. That's 20 % of every Elite Coaching Club member, every Persuasion Factor member, and any future program I offer. What does this mean to my students? Well, as long as they're in the program, if they bring me five Elite Coaching Club students, they can be in my Coaching Club for free. WOW!! That's huge.

I have really exciting plans for 2008 that I will be unveiling in the coming months that I'm absolutely thrilled about and that I am certain will thrill you too. As always, I am eager to hear what is on your mind, my students, and what I can do to improve your experience and learning of persuasion and the benefits it is bringing to your life.

So for now, I'd ask you to sign up on Facebook, look me up, become my friend, and stay tuned for the amazing things to come.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction." -- Pablo Picasso

Hi Persuader,

Sometimes in persuasion, the thing to do is to get provocative. I'm not talking about being inappropriate or crass, I'm not talking about being overtly sexual, but I am suggesting that you access the core drives a little, those primal drives that link each and every one of us as human animals, and specifically I'm thinking of the drive to reproduce.

Seduction need not be limited to the realm of mating or luring someone away from accepted principles or proper conduct. Being seductive in all aspects of your life is really a very deeply persuasive attribute. Being seductive is to win over and attract, enticing someone into our desired mindset or position.

Someone once told me that they flirt with everyone -- men, women, all ages, all nationalities, all shapes and sizes, all the time. This struck me as deeply odd until I realized they were not flirting in the sense that they were looking to 'hook up' (as the kids put it) but to charm. Once I reframed it in my mind, I realized that this is a great way to be in the world. How fascinating it is to allow everyone you come into contact with the deeply charming version of you which is usually reserved for attractive person you're trying to "get closer to", so to speak.

Here's another way to view this: it's rapport with a twist.

Now, this isn't for everyone. For example, for women, this can be a rather messy can of worms if not done with very clear boundaries. Men are highly susceptible to being flirted with or being charmed and the best bet is to be extremely obvious that this is how you interact with everyone, not just them.

Everyone loves to be given special attention and this form of rapport and criteria elicitation incites that very delightful feeling of being given that special attention.

Here's another way to access this powerful motivator. Insert into your conversation words of a titillating variety. This is a roundabout way of stimulating these drives that will give sometimes vague, sometimes intense triggers of that core drive.

Phew. . . sorry about that. I was just giving an example and got a little carried away, but now you get the idea.

Don't go too off the charts with this one or people might think you're creepy, but there is great benefit in turning on the lights and bringing these things out into the open to expose how they can turn us into better persuaders.

So while I may not exactly admit to being a flirt, I will say that I do enjoy the process of charming as a way to persuade and, in general, a way to make people feel good.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Try this: I'm sure you'll get it real quick but because you're all such good folks out there, I want you to spell the word 'folk' three times. Do it right now in your mind. Spell the word 'folk' three times as fast as you can.

Now what do you call the white part of an egg?

Did you say yolk? Really?

Are you asking your prospects the right questions to get to their deepest values and criteria? When we elicit criteria, if we're doing it right, our prospects don't understand what they are really giving us.

So how can we make the most of each question we ask? An extremely important thing to remember is that the questions cause the answer. What does that mean? It means that as we learn to better ask the question, we're going to be a lot better at making persuasion happen.

If I were to look at you as a brand new client, and you've never bought anything from me before and let's say I'm an advisor and I'm there to help you with wealth planning throughout your generations and I say, "Would you just tell me the two or three things that you need to hear me say today to make you buy? Just tell me so that we can get this part out of the way. Go ahead. I'm listening."

What would happen? That's right. Nothing. They'd probably either tell you to leave or they'd get up and walk out. Yet magically, when we elicit their criteria, they gladly give that very same information to us.

Why? Well, to an extent, it's disguised.

Your prospect does not understand what they're giving you when you ask this way. They don't get it. Once in a blue moon you'll find someone giving you resistance to this, but it doesn't happen often.

Even if they did understand what they were giving us, it is socially correct and absolutely acceptable to find out what they need prior to recommending a product or service. Doctors don't just prescribe medicine prior to finding out about your history, finding out if you have allergies or without finding out why you're there to see them. Neither do consultants, lawyers, or sales people. We simply cannot give people any recommendation if we don't know what they want or need.

Here's the point and this is important: we're setting people's minds up so that we can enter them and we can get them to do what we want them to do. We can set them going along a direction that when we interrupt that direction, we can cause them to immediately, as if it was always so, go along with what we're saying. (What's the white part of an egg called?)

When I ask you 'what's important about X?' or 'if I were a magician and I had a magic wand and I could wave it and get you anything in business you want, what would it be?' I'm listening very intently for where you have the strongest emotional reaction to one of the words that you're saying.

We're opening the people's minds. We're opening them to their own desires, to their own things.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

You know what's overrated? Rationality. I know, I know, it's important to have your feet firmly planted on the ground in order to grow roots, in order to have a foundation, a base from which to work. But in business the idea of rationality has become supreme and I think we've lost something in the transition from 'mom and pop' business to faceless corporations that is an integral part of selling our products or services, especially when dealing with an affluent clientele.

Our viability as people who sell, is intrinsically linked to our client's and prospect's emotions and their other-than-conscious minds. In past posts/articles, I've gotten very detailed about 'how' to access these emotions (i.e. eliciting their criteria, creating rapport), and I'd like to discuss here more the 'why' of the process.

Our emotions drive us. Core emotions and our DNA are what make us take action. We are primitive beings ruled by the same things our ancient ancestors were ruled by. They didn't have to contend with a bombardment of products or services vying for their business. They worried about the very basics: food, shelter, sex, fight or flight and had no concept of choice, luxury or affluence.

When we interact with a prospect, this should be a thought we hold foremost in our minds: appeal to the core. Gut instincts are far more powerful than the rational mind. Making the rational and the core emotions mesh, is our job.

Gut reactions happen instantly. In his book 'Blink', Malcolm Gladwell discusses rapid cognition, that which happens in the blink of an eye. He writes about thinking without thinking. Our emotional processes take only 1/5th of the time our rational brain takes to assimilate.

Think of this in terms of how sales used to be and how they are now. Despite the fact that at our cores we're like cavemen, we are incredibly sophisticated. If you consider even back to the fifties, sixties and seventies, the 'features and benefits' style of sales, the Dale Carnegie method, these were passable at the time, but as our choices have grown in the marketplace, so have our BS detectors. We know when someone's being slick with us and it doesn't feel good.

Now think of how good it feels to be understood, and at ease, and the fact that this response is absolutely duplicatable with the right training. Accessing our prospect's values, eliciting their criteria, and with sincerity, honesty and integrity, combining it with what our products or our services, all make for an emotional alchemy that is easy to feel good about.

In our advanced state of civilization (depending on your perspective) we are given amazing choices and opportunities. There are products and services available to us that even a generation ago, wouldn't have been dreamed up. In this ever expanding atmosphere it seems likely that those of us who know how to access the core and our prospect's emotions are going to be the ones capable of rising to the top in our given fields. By elevating emotions and partially bypassing rationality, we find ourselves with incredible persuasion power.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

I'm curious. . .

Just so I'm absolutely clear. . .

Excellent. That makes perfect sense. And so that I'm understanding you. . .

Once we get past the basics of rapport and criteria elicitation, we can then feel free to put a little polish on our persuasion package.

Softening statements and questions are just that. When we elicit criteria, the basic structure is, 'What's important about X? What's important about Y? And ultimately, what's important about Z?' (If you're new to MAXpersuasion or haven't yet learned the basics of rapport building and criteria elicitation, stop now! And contact Kim for more information to get you started.)

Okay. So once we are comfortable with criteria elicitation, we can then add some softeners to sooth and encourage our prospect.

'So, I'm just curious, tell me, what's important to you about finding a new financial advisor?'

'Well,' says our prospect, 'I'm just not feeling comfortable with my current advisor and I'm looking for a change.'

'Excellent. Really good. That makes perfect sense. And so that I'm understanding you completely, what's important about feeling comfortable with your financial advisor?'

'Well, I just really want to feel secure in knowing that I'm taken care of and that my best interests are being looked after, and I'm just not finding that to be the case right now.'

'Absolutely. I completely agree. And just so that I'm absolutely clear, ultimately, when you find this secure feeling that you're being taken care of, what will that mean to you?'

'It will mean that I don't have to worry about my family or my family's financial future.'

Softening statements/questions put the prospect at ease. They show that we're really, truly understanding and in compliance with our client's needs and desires.

Like playing a musical instrument, persuasion can either be taken directly off the page as written, but its power is best utilized when we get the basics down and then do a little improvisation. Obviously, without the basics, we get a lot of nonsense, but when we combine a solid foundation with these flourishes, it can be a beautiful symphony.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

When we’re persuading the affluent, (which is after all, where the money is) it’s useful to be as much like them as possible.

But when you get right down to it, it’s very individual. How do we individualize our presentation for each of our prospects? As it relates to rapport, we can do so by effectively learning how their mind thinks.

There are three major ways our minds think and we are all predominantly one (and often a combination) of them:

(1) seeing, (2) hearing and (3) feeling.

Another way to describe these categories is Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic (VAK, if you want to get technical). People get used to targeting one of these by paying attention to one more so than the others.

By increasing your precision with language, you’re going to learn how to create rapport verbally. You’ll also learn how to begin the process of training your prospects to follow your ideas and suggestions. To do this you must first develop a few skills that will give you far more flexibility in your language as well as laying the groundwork for powerful strategies to come.

What is the difference between reality and our THOUGHTS of reality?

What is the difference between experience, (I mean, that which is happening around us), and what we remember about what has happened around us?

to get into this, let’s talk a little bit about how we perceive the world around us...

We perceive our world through our five senses. Our five senses, of course, are visual, auditory, kinesthetic (feeling), taste and smell.

If something happens in the world around you, let’s say within ten feet of you, (and you have the ability to see, hear or feel it, your eyes are open and you’re watching it), do you perceive that it happened as fast as it happened?

The answer is no, you don’t. It actually happens a split second before you can perceive it. Why? Because the information is being filtered through your five senses. In other words, how do you become aware that there even is an experience going on around you?

Another way to look at this is, if a pencil were in a room and something happened but you weren’t there, would the pencil know that it happened?

There are some who argue, yes, the pencil knows and if someone tunes into the pencil, it will tell them. Well, maybe so, but I doubt it.

It takes an observer to be there in the room to know that something happened. And how do we observe? By absorbing what takes place coming into our mind through our five senses. And once the information comes into our five senses, we can remember it and talk about it.

We perceive our world through our five senses. Now most people think, when they first start their study of this, ‘My perception of what happened and reality are the same thing.’

Well if that’s true, how is it that no two people experience things the same?

There are filters that change our perception of things. Our five senses are distorted. In fact, they go through three basic processes that are fundamental to all human beings.

What comes in is distorted, or generalized and/or deleted. Distorted, deleted or generalized.

In other words, there are so many things happening every second around us that if you could possibly pay attention to all of those things, it would pretty much drive you crazy and nothing would make sense.

So we learn to tune our senses to pick up the things that we believe are important.

As we study persuasion even deeper, we will explore each of the three main ways of perception, how they affect rapport, and how you can tune into them in order to maximize persuasion.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Empathy is the ability to identify with and the vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another person. Empathy is the capacity to understand and respond to the other's experiences.

Can you see any advantage of that in terms of persuasion? I sure can. I've been using it as a secret weapon for years in my persuasion and I'll now share it with you.

Here's an exercise to really help you get into the affluent mindset of your clients...

It's all about understanding and responding to their experiences. You may have heard of another powerful technique like this where you metaphorically 'jump' into them. Here, we are instead going to experience them.

When someone feels that kind of trust - where you are actually experiencing what they are going through - rapport is never far behind.

There is unbelievable power in being able to tell how someone feels just by observing them.

With loved ones whose patterns we know and understand, this comes naturally. This exercise you will give you an insight to people you don't know that well (if at all).

The ability to empathize with people you've never met before - from your affluent prospects to potential employees to potential romantic relationships - is pure gold. This is incredibly powerful for EVERY situation and you will begin to see just how it works once you practice it yourself just a few times.

For this exercise you'll need a partner. Here's the set up:

Ask your partner to think of anything. Call it 'A'. Notice how their body is arranged - facial features, breathing, muscle tension, gestures, etc. - and take a mental snapshot. This is how they represent thought 'A'.

Next, have them break state by looking around the room and naming three things they see. (This is just to get their mind off of 'A' and to revert back to their normal state.)

Now, have them think of something qualitatively different, though not necessarily opposite. Call it 'B'.

[NOTE: When you first do this exercise thinking of the opposite may make it easier, but I encourage you to develop your skills and not use something opposite once you've got the hang of it.]

Okay, now have them break state again.

Next, have them think about either the A or B thought, without telling you which. Your job is to tell which one they're thinking about, just by looking at them. Which snapshot do they resemble the most?

Once you've done this enough times, switch roles and let them enjoy the experience of being able to tell what you're thinking. You can begin to really know the people you deal with regularly.

Now you don't practice this with your prospects. You're not going to sit down with them and say, "okay, now let's practice a persuasion technique..." You practice this with the people you know well, so that you can fine-tune your observation skills.

After a while, you will begin to recognize the smallest state changes in others as you converse with them. When they speak about certain topics, give you certain answers, you will actually experience them and they will feel it too.

Although they will not be able to pin point the feeling they get, they will feel connected to you.

So what's the value in this? Certainly it's a fast and effective way to gain rapport. It also puts the person in a state of feeling understood.

Another way this can be valuable is in determining whether or not a client is lying. Not that you need to interrogate a client, but knowing if someone's fibbing is always useful.

If a prospect, for instance, explains that their finances are "great" but their body language belies this, then these verbal and nonverbal cues can be a dead give away that this prospect doesn't really have a steady hold on his finances - and this information can be used to your persuasive advantage.

You can use other persuasive strategies (taught in detail in my Persuasion Factor program) to get this prospect to open up about their financial situation. And once you do that, you gain even more rapport, you get to the heart of their problem, and you can immediately introduce yourself and your service as the solution to their problem.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"It is the pervading law of all things organic and inorganic,
Of all things physical and metaphysical,
Of all things human and all things super-human,
Of all true manifestations of the head,
Of the heart, of the soul,
That the life is recognizable in its expression,
That form ever follows function. This is the law."
~Louis Sullivan     

Hi Persuader,

Architect Louis Sullivan understood that form follows function. The designer of the modern skyscraper was creating the modern cityscape, trying to accomplish something that had never been tried before.

What function are YOU trying to accomplish? Your goal is to persuade the affluent, to influence them such that they buy from you.

We can fall back to Sullivan's credo and understand that we can design a form that will go along with whatever function we require.

With persuasion, you will find that you get very, very good results with building models that you're going to use to affect other people.

We've talked about builiding models of rapport before. What's the form of the model we build? The person, right? We're building THEM, we step into THEM.

What is our objective? To BECOME them, so our model IS them.

Let's get into some more wild models that will make your persuasion efforts work even more effectively with the affluent...

Like trying on someone else's skin, these all can be explained quite simply as ways of asking your unconcsious mind to do something very powerful on your behalf.

It assumes and presupposes your ability to do it, and in fact your unconscious CAN do it. Your unconscious mind simply understands what you're asking it to do, and then engages behavior for you to accomplish these things.

The next step is the model of stepping into someone, a.k.a. "the bubble". It's an interesting concept right out of metaphysical literature, and it's very effective as it relates to rapport.

What you want to do is "encircle" someone (or a group of people) with a "bubble".

The color of the bubble matters - I'm not quite sure why, but it does. So we'll just take what works and use either a pink or gold bubble.

Step One: I step into you.

As I step, I throw a lasso around you, and now you're encased in a bubble. Right when I step, I do this. As I step, I also enter the bubble.

In my mind, I throw this bubble that lands over the top of both of us. I'm in it, you're in it - we're both in the little bubble.

You might be thinking, "Well, Kenrick, this all sounds a little kooky."

Believe me, there IS a point to all of this... The point is to link us energetically, to link what the two of us are doing.

There are all kinds of tests and tons of research showing that what you think about another person affects them. You can test this with kinesiology and you can prove that...

what you think about another person affects them drastically.

So if you're inside them and you've surrounded yourself with this energetic linking, imagine what kind of effect it will have. It's extremely powerful.

Believe it or not, there are some ways to add even MORE power to this model...

First of all, for designing this form, the function that we want to accomplish is rapport that leads to persuasion, influence.

We want to think warm colors, like pink and orange. Even green would work, if you wanted to use it, but really pink and orange are the best colors.

What we want to do is persuade them. We want them to go along with us. We simply imagine this bubble as being one of persuasive influence, a persuasion-flavored bubble if you will.

Imagine you and I are sitting in a room with maybe a dozen or so other people.

I surround us with persuasion, influence, the ability for you to want to follow me, because after all that's how you feel. I programmed this into my head. This is what I decide is going to happen when I put this bubble around us.

Once the bubble is around us, what can I do with it? I can step out of it. I can just move outside the bubble, and leave the bubble around you.

Let's say that I want to encircle many, like the whole room. I can drop the bubble over all of us, and then I can step out of it.

What will be the impact of doing that?

First of all, the bubble's around you, all of you, thus I'm energetically linking all of you. When I step in, my influence takes over. My influence permeates because it's MY bubble.

If I want, I step back out and leave you all in the bubble.

What's the effect? I'm not really trying to influence you very much, except wanting to have a lot of rapport amongst all of us.

I step into the bubble... what happens? My influence takes over. It's my bubble. I own it. It works for me.

Experiment with the bubble and please post to the forum your experiences. This will be an incredibly interesting exercise for you. You'll gain an entirely new perspective on your persuasive ability toward the affluent.

Until next time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland