Hi Persuader,

I'm often asked to listen to speeches or presentations or interactions between my students and their prospects to give comment on what more can be brought to their individual persuasion skills. The sad fact is, I haven't figured out a way to extend my days. I've only got 24 hours, as do all of us, and I simply don't have time to help in this way.

The up side is, if you're in my Elite Coaching Club, you are either fully capable of critiquing yourself, or you're on your way to being there. My suggestion is that you record yourself doing your presentations or speeches or calls or interviews and listen to them. I guaranty you will find this valuable.

All you have to do is listen to your presentation with the following in mind: Do I have rapport? Listen to it again and ask: Am I using the presuppositions affectively? Listen to it again to determine: Am I using their criteria affectively? How about when they objected, where could I have heard that earlier on?

What follows are some frames within which to listen to your presentations.

What's the level of rapport that you're hearing taking place? Is it strong? Could it be stronger? What would you have to do to make that stronger?

What is the overall frame you've set from the minute you begin interacting with those people? With your prospect? What's the overall frame you're setting? Is it one of authority? Is it one of one down and they're one up? Are you one up and they're one down? Are you equal? How do you come across in terms of the overall frame you're setting?

What are the presuppositions that you can identify quickly that you're using throughout your presentation? Are you using them well? Are you using them a lot?

What are you using? What are you using well? What could be used better?

Where are you getting objections? Where could you have become aware of the objection much earlier on in the presentation?

So let's say you have an hour presentation, you're listening to it, and you know that at the end, there's an objection. Where could you have heard that earlier on? How could you have become aware earlier on of what happened and how could you have framed against it earlier on maybe even at the point of the criteria elicitation? How could you have heard what was going to come out and then framed against it?

Re-listen again and ask yourself: Did you get and use their criteria? And did you continue to reference it throughout the presentation?

And again listen to it and determine: How do you feel about the length of time you were there? Were you there too long? Were you not focused on your outcome well enough or were you focused on your outcome well enough? How long were you there? How much time did it take and is that justifiable time?

If you've been studying with me for any amount of time or have been involved with my work in the least, you will begin to understand the frames I'm using to listen to you and you will be able to hear yourself with my ears in that respect.

For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, and if you're signed up for the Persuasion Factor or in my Elite Coaching Club, you will shortly know exactly what I'm talking about.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Binds are a fascinating strategy in persuasion which should be used sparingly, a little ‘persuasion seasoning’ so to speak.

Binds are language patterns and like all language patterns there’s a formula.

For single binds there are two formulas: the first is, ‘if X, Y’ and the second is ‘the more you X, the more you Y.’

As a general rule, the X will be a pace (something that is verifiably true) but it can also include a suggestion or a challenge, and the Y will be a lead, how you want them to think or respond but they’re not currently doing, necessarily. (For more on pacing and leading, stay tuned.)

In other words, you can think of X as the set up, and Y is the punch line.

‘If you develop a deep understanding of the power of binds, you’ll feel compelled to sign up for The Persuasion Factor.’

Okay. . .that’s a pretty obvious example. Very transparent, I know, but you see that the first part of the sentence ‘if you develop a deep understanding of the power of binds’ is a suggestion or challenge, and ‘you’ll feel compelled to sign up for The Persuasion Factor’ is the lead, what I want you to do which you may not currently be doing.

Here’s another example: ‘The more you read what I’m explaining, the more you’ll understand the power of using it.’

Let’s break that down a little. The more you read about something, i.e. the more you read about using binds, the more you will understand how powerful they are to use. Is this true? Possibly. I think it is. But it’s more of a presupposition than it is solid, hard, cold fact.

Binds do not have to in any way make sense or be logical.

For example: ‘The more you hear about this piece of property, the more you will be compelled to buy it.’

Is that logical? Not necessarily. In other words, hearing a lot about something doesn’t compel people to buy. Hearing the right things about something might compel someone to buy, but the suggestion here is that that there is a logical link between hearing about the property and being compelled to buy it. You’re creating that link, you’re creating the truth, and you’re making it so in their minds.

Here’s where we start to get into some really interesting ways of using this. ‘The more you try and object, the more you will find yourself going along with these ideas.’

What are we really doing here? We’re issuing a challenge. The more you try and do something we don’t want you to do, the more you’ll find yourself doing what we want you to do.

Here’s another one: ‘The more you want to feel good about yourself, the more you’ll need to act now on this proposal.’

You might say, ‘Kenrick, you can’t just say that to people.’ Well, yes I can. And I do. And it works great.

My advice: write some samples out before you try using this technique. It is something that needs to be delivered smoothly or you will get an odd reaction.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail."
-- Abraham H. Maslow

Hi Persuader,

In school, unless we had an alternative education, we were taught history through the eyes of the powerful and elite. We learned about Columbus' voyage to discover the new world and what he encountered there. We learned all about the founding fathers and the Declaration of Independence. We learned that Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves.

This is clearly an overly simplified description of a narrow overview, but I use these examples just to make a point. If we're viewing history from the perspective of those in power, we're not really viewing history, are we.

The frame that education uses, the frame mandated for public educational institutions, (funded by public money and which curriculum is determined by the "powers that be"), is a positive one, for the most part. Revising history is a work of fiction, '1984', and couldn't possibly happen. But if you think about it, all history is revision.

I came across "The People's History of the United States". It's a book that has been around for almost thirty years and continues to be updated as history continues to be move forward.

This book is a classic reframe and whether or not we can agree that the perspective is valid, or "Marxist" or "socialist", we have to agree that it is an entirely different frame from what we're used to.

Look at Columbus' "discovery" from the perspective of the people who were already there: genocide and blankets with small pox.

And how about those cute Thanksgiving pilgrims that we regard as fleeing religious persecution and bravely venturing onto the New World. The natives might see this as more of a violent colonization by early English settlers.

There's a fascinating reframe at the end of the most recent edition regarding the "War on Terror". Instead of accepting the perspective, the frame that Arab terrorists attacked us on 9/11 because they hate our freedom, think about this: they were fed up with our foreign policy, our "stationing of U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia... sanctions against Iraq which... had resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of children; [and] the continued U.S. support of Israel's occupation of Palestinian land."

Huh? That's not what the news tells us. Why hasn't this perspective been reported?

Frames are complicated, just as reality is complicated, just as life is complicated, but if we can see the frames for what they are, then we can control them.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Has this ever happened to you? You're driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, maybe not, and those red and blue lights begin to flash in your rearview mirror. So you pull over and prepare your papers. . . license, registration, proof of insurance. And the law enforcement officer makes his way to your window, quickly so as to not waste your time, and politely says, 'Hi. . .I'm just wondering if you . . .I'm so sorry to bother you. But would you mind showing me your license and registration? I think there might have been a slight infraction of the law and I'd really like to clear it up if you don't mind. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience.'

Umm. . . No, that hasn't happened to you. And it will never happen to you. Why? Law enforcement officers don't care about your convenience or worry about offending you. It's not the frame within which they are operating. Their frame is, 'I'm in charge. You do what I tell you to do. I have all the power in this interaction and I have absolutely no problem using this power in any way I see fit.'

Maybe not all officers are that extreme but I'm exaggerating a little to make my point.

The frames we set for ourselves and our exchanges with others are what color every business transaction and every romantic or personal interaction we have. Whoever sets the stronger frame, wins.

This doesn't mean we have to pull power trips on people. Absolutely not. This simply means that when we come to the table, we have to have our resolve strong and our place in the negotiations set. I'm not going to approach a potential new student with, 'Well, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to give you a little advice to help learn persuasion and how to increase sales. . .' Heck no! First of all, I know full and well that I'm absolutely certain I can teach anyone to increase sales through persuasion. There's no beating around the bush. I'm not shy about these things. How good a persuader would I be if I were shy about my ability to help people?

Framing is what we use to control everything. If we extend that and look at what that means, in any area of our life, there are frames that are operating and those frames are dictating our behavior, our responses and the way in which the interaction takes place.

We have the frame of the sales person and the perspective client. One frame that operates is, 'Prove to me why I need you or why I should use you.' That might be a frame that the client is coming from. A frame that the advisor might adopt might be, 'I am the expert in this field and so I work with people who understand that and can take advantage of what I tell them.'

But supposing you came from the frame of, 'I'm really not anybody. I'm just kind of trying to survive here. I don't know a whole lot, really. I just sort of represent a couple of companies that years ago, I guess I somehow lucked into my license and I represent a couple of companies that have a few things available and maybe there's something you want.'

Am I going to sign up with that guy? No. No one is.

Before your next meeting take some time to think about the framework you're using to work with the people around you.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuaders,

I'm sitting in a hotel room doing some research when I happened upon an article on politics. And while I typically am not all that interested in the Democratic party, this race has been different.

As I read it, I began to think of some things that I believe to be true (whether I like it or not). Here they are in no particular order.

The people in the United States are rather fed up with Republicans and with the way they are running things. (In my opinion this is too bad as I've always leaned toward that side - Libertarian actually.).

Whom ever wins the Democratic nomination will most likely become the next President of the United States.

Persuasion matters! Whom ever uses it the best will easily catapult above the other.

And in terms of persuasion, Obama wins hands down over Clinton.

If you want to watch powerful persuasion positioning, just watch what Obama is doing.

So do I believe he'll be the next President? If I had to make my answer based on persuasion skill, it would be yes, overwhelmingly. I believe he will defeat Hillary and between Obama and McCain, Obama should handily win.

The "tax and spend" policies of the far left my haunt us for many years to come, but they can't be worse than we've had with Bush at the helm. LOL

Of course, the real deal is also available. A politician with honor and integrity (believe it or not) and his name is Ron Paul. Unfortunately, from what I've seen, he believes that simply asserting the right position will make him win. He could benefit from some persuasion coaching but his message is amazing. But without real persuasion skills, I fear it is lost on the world. Not to mention that when millions of people have their collective hands out, they may well opt for the tax and spend left.

Ok, if you'd like to see what I read that started all this in my mind, here you go.

http://www.sacbee.com/110/story/732748.html

Let me know your thoughts.

Kenrick

Hi Persuader,

In a previous blog post, I gave an overview of VAK (Unraveling VAK) and it's use in persuasion and gaining rapport. I also went into more detail about the 'V' in VAK in 'Seeing the Light'. Obviously, with a title like 'Getting Touchy Feely, I've moved on to the 'K'.

To gain rapport we have to learn how people construct and make their reality. And we have to learn how they interact with that reality. For kinesthetic oriented people, that interaction is through touch and feel.

The way you know that you're interacting with a kinesthetic or feeling oriented person is that they tend to grasp for the way in which things are going to come across. They'll want to bend with you and walk, step by step. They'll often want to stick with things and grasp a hold of the kinds of things you're going over with them. Sometimes they'll even strain and work hard to tackle the task at hand. This is what kinesthetic oriented people do and sometimes they'll even touch their arm or their leg and rub it while they talk. They're kind of getting in touch with the way they feel about what's going on. They also sometimes talk about balance and merging together and catching up.

Bill Clinton is a perfect example of a kinesthetic person. One pretty famous quote of his, which was turned into parody by his notorious predilections, was 'I feel your pain.' That's the epitome of kinesthesia.

If a visual person speaks pretty quick and they're zipping right along and an auditory person speaks a little slower and sometimes in a very sing-songy voice or in a flat monotone that you can easily detect they're doing, then a kinesthetic person, in contrast, often speaks much slower and they struggle for the next thought.

Kinesthetic people obviously use kinesthetic words. These cover the tactile sense of feeling-hot, cold, firm, a firm touch, vibration-as well as the emotional sense of feeling-love, happiness, joy, anger.

Another thing kinesthetic oriented people do is they love to stand close so that they can reach out and touch. You can touch them on the shoulder, you can give them a hug, all within the realm of being respectful of course, but you can be right in their face. They love it. They're not using their pictures like the visually oriented person is (at least consciously) so they don't need to be able to see them.

That's another major difference between the three groups that will help you to identify them. One of the biggest ways though, for me, is that they, struggle . . . for their words. . .

In contrast to visual people who look up, and auditory people look side-to-side or level, kinesthetic oriented people will look down, in general.

Along these lines, but as sort of a side note, a few weeks ago I read a story online about a junior high school student in Virginia who had been cited for two infractions by his school for hugging a friend. Why? His school has a 'no physical contact' policy. This includes no handshakes, no high fives, no pats on the back, no hand holding-no touching of any sort.

My initial thought was, wow, that's really strange. Then I thought of the kinesthetic kids who might be going to that school and what a disservice is being done to them. I mean, I understand the need for clear boundaries, but no physical contact whatsoever between friends? Seems like a dangerous road to travel down.

Coming soon: Auditory Adventures.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

In a previous article, I discussed the basics of the VAK (visual, auditory and kinesthetic) representational system and it's value in gaining rapport with an affluent clientel . In this article, I'm going to go more in depth with visual language.

What happens when a person is using visual words (bright, vibrant, shining, 'I see what you're saying')? They're remembering and processing information visually in their mind. If you hear them do it a lot, it may be their dominant sensory system and the one they're most conscious of.

What kind of behaviors might we expect from someone who's using predominantly visual words? People who are visual tend to speak a lot with their hands. They generally talk faster as if they're trying to tell you all of the thousand words that a picture is worth.

Put a picture in your mind and you're trying to describe it to me you may really get off on a roll here with your words, you're trying like crazy to describe it and you're talking, like sometimes people they talk really fast, even talking a little higher. The pictures are flipping through their mind at high speed and they're trying to give you all the information that they're seeing and they can't quite keep up with it even.

Read that last paragraph out loud really fast and you've got an idea of how a visually oriented person may describe this to you.

There are a few other things that you'll notice. They may often breathe higher in their chest. You may also notice that they need distance between you as they speak. They don't like to stand real close to people, not too close, because what happens is you will be in their picture if you stand too close.

Try this: if you think someone is very visually oriented when you're talking to them, just move so you're standing really close to them and see if they don't get uncomfortable.

You can also do some other interesting things. If you notice them looking off into space at particular areas while they talk, you could point to that space and slide it around. In other words, point to the space and then move it to some other space and watch them get confused.

Just play around a little bit with it. You're not going to hurt anybody doing that. It's not like you're going to cause trauma, or anything, contrary to what others might lead you to believe. But it will start to help you understand what happens when someone is highly visually oriented.

These kinds of people can be very powerfully persuaded. When you find them, you'll learn to love what you can do with them.

When gaining rapport it is valuable to understand the representational system that the prospect is using, but as we will discover in future articles, there's a shortcut. For now, just see if you can identify five visually oriented people this week and notice how they speak and gesticulate.

This is only the tiniest fraction of powerful persuasion basics. To get really deep, contact Kim and ask her to tell you all about the Persuasion Factor.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

What if we could assume a mental position or thought that our prospects have to take for granted? The core concept has to be taken for granted just to make sense of what you're telling them without you having to name it.

Presupposition is that which must be accepted as true in order to make sense of the sentence. Think about that definition for a moment. If it is that which must be accepted as true, it has to be accepted because you didn't say it. In other words, it's assumed, or presupposed.

The idea is, we want to get to the point of not having to say the ideas.

Start to wrap your mind around the idea that you're going to learn to start to talk in ways that presuppose what you want someone to think. They have to assume the core of what you want them to think just in order to make sense of what you're saying.

This gets us closer to getting people to think what it is that we want them to think without us having to say it.

'We need to fight the terrorists over there so we don't have to fight them over here.'

What does that presuppose? Well, it presupposes that we have to 'fight them' at all. It also presupposes that if we don't fight them over there, they're going to come here for a fight.

'The great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.' -Sir Isaac Newton

This presupposes that there is a 'truth' that is capable of being discovered.

'How will you be paying for this today?'

This, of course, presupposes that something is being bought and paid for.

Here's another cool thing about presuppositions: nouns presuppose existence. So any time you say a noun or anything near or similar, you're presupposing a level of existence. Can you see how much presupposition exists in the world?

What are some examples of how you can you use presupposition in your business? If you're stumped, consider my Persuasion Factor or Elite Coaching Club. Contact Kim to decide which course is better for you.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

In my Elite Coaching Club, we get into some things that are quite advanced. One of the recent techniques I've been talking about is called 'future pacing'.

Future pacing is a phenomenal strategy that reminds your prospect of all the reasons they made the decision to purchase or sign up with you, and transfers all of those reasons to the future, reminding them why, through triggers and signals that you will have installed.

I do this every time I sell without thinking twice because it's such a powerful way to help your prospect or client lock in the decision no matter what outside influences say or regardless of the second thoughts they may have themselves.

With that said, I'm not going to get into the technique too deeply, but I'd like to tell you a story about how I used this when I was a young man selling health spa memberships.

I had an eighteen year old guy come in and he wanted to buy a membership so I sold it to him. I didn't even really have to 'sell' it to him because he was so eager to sign up.

After he signed the contract, I went through some future pacing and said, 'Imagine if someone tried to tell you that you that signing up with us was a bad decision and how stupid are you to pay for a membership, what would cause you to stay with the decision anyway?'

And he said, 'I want this and no one's going to talk me out of it. I do what I want.'

I said, 'Okay. Supposing you begin to doubt the decision yourself, what would cause you to stay with this decision?'

He explained, 'I absolutely know what I want and I want this membership. I make my own decisions and that's it.'

Later that day my phone rings. The young man's mom is on the phone. 'Hey, you sold my son a gym membership.'

I said, 'He came in and bought one, I didn't have to sell it to him.'

And she said, 'Okay, he bought a membership. I'd like you to cancel it and send me notice that it's been done.'

I said, 'I'm sorry, can't do that. He's over eighteen otherwise I couldn't have sold it to him. He needs to bring in the paperwork, as per the terms of the agreement that he signed, and we'll be happy to cancel it. He has seventy-two hours to do it.'

'Okay, she said, 'We'll be in tomorrow.'

So in they come the next day together. His head was hanging low and he said, 'I need to cancel this, and I wanted to bring my mom in so she can see the club. Can I go work out today and show my mom through the club? And then I'll stop by on the way out and I'll cancel it?'

I said, 'Absolutely. Go right ahead.'

So he went and worked out. Well apparently they drove separate cars if I remember the correctly and the kid ducked out and left his mom there.

She came up to me and said, 'Okay, we need to get this canceled.'

I said, 'Great. Give me the contract and I'll be happy to cancel it for you.'

She said, 'I don't have it. He has it.'

I said, 'I have to follow the terms of our agreement and I will be more than happy to cancel it, just bring me the contract within seventy-two hours.'

The next day the kid comes in, brings the agreement and says, 'I'm supposed to give this to you, but before I do, can I just work out?'

I said, 'Sure. Go ahead.'

So he worked out and left without seeing me.

The third day came. His mother dragged him in and said, 'Give the man the goddamn contract.' He handed it to me.

She said, 'Cancel the contract.'

I turned to him and said, 'Do you want it canceled?'

He said, 'No.' And he started arguing with his mother. He was ready to sever the relationship with his mother over this gym membership.

At this point, I took the membership and canceled it. I realized what had happened. I hadn't given it a second thought until I saw this kid unable to hand back the agreement because he had made a decision and I had future paced it.

When you future pace something, you lock it into the mind of the person and I'm telling you right now that with the power of the strength of their own mind, you will have virtually locked them in.

For more advanced techniques such as future pacing, talk to Kim.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Since we're on the topic of beginning... How do we begin a presentation? If you were sitting down right now to talk to somebody, how would you start your presentation?

What is the frame that you set? Is it a frame of cooperation? Is it a frame of 'I'm right'? Is it a frame of 'you need me'? Is it a frame of 'you're going to do this'? Or is it a frame of 'I'm going to help figure out what you need and give it to you'?

Take just a moment and identify the frame that you're starting with. Not the frame you think you should be starting but what you have been starting with?

Here are two frames students of mine came up with.

"I'm here to help you get what you want."

And, "I want to find out what you need.'

Let me give you some insight into these two frames.

In the frame that says, 'I'm here to help you get what you want', I am in the picture. In the frame that says, 'I want to find out what you need', I'm finding out, it's information, but it's not action and I am not in the frame.

You also must insert yourself into the buyer's mind such that you are an intricate part of the answer.

Life without action isn't much of a life. You must be taking action. One of the best ways to take action is by setting your frame in the beginning right out of the gate. That frame is: I'm going to help you get what you want.

Now maybe what they want is not to do business with you because you're not a good fit. Fine, I'll help you not do business with me. I'll help say goodbye and part friends. Nice. No problem. I appreciate you not wasting my time.

But if you don't insert yourself right into the frame to begin with, then you end up running the risk of having a bigger issue. And that bigger issue is that you're not seen as a person that they are going to take action with.

We're dealing with subtleties here but the subtleties count in a huge way. Remember, the person who sets the frame is going to win. You have to really consider what the frame is that you're attempting to set, and that it is in your mind when you enter into the situation that you're entering into.

If you're out of the frame, your prospect will see you as out of the frame too and they'll thank you for your information and leave.

There's nothing manipulative in my opinion about inserting yourself into the frame. After all, they came to see you, or you came to see them and they let you in. What would be manipulative is if you tried to give them something they don't need or they don't want and that I have a real problem with it.

As the saying goes, 'You never get a second chance to make a first impression.' I'd go even further and say, 'You never get a second chance to powerfully, persuasively, positively set that first frame with yourself as the solution to your prospect's needs and wants.'

Before you even begin, have this be your intention.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland