Dear Persuader,

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - to choose one's own way.”   - Victor Frankl

Every time I hear someone talk about “thinking outside the box” I chuckle.  Like any cliché or catchphrase, thinking outside the box has been so overused as to become downright irritating.

From business coaches and management consultants to the realms of education, sports, sales and self help... think about how many times you’ve heard someone say in order to succeed or break through to higher levels of achievement, we have to step outside of the boxes that society has dictated we exist in.

Well, what is this box and why is it such a hindrance? And isn’t this just another way to say we need to be creative with the frames that we use to view the world?

I agree in theory with this concept in that persuasion requires a fluid creativity and flexibility that is not easily contained by restrictions and limitations. Business has been reduced to a rigid constant in many respects.  Trying to distill something as broad as business, and something as complex as sales, into easily digestible bites has been something old fashioned sales and marketing trainers have long tried to do.

Every situation is particular, each client or prospect has a very specific key or trigger which our creative sleuthing requires us to uncover. Remaining static is not an option in this quest. We have to have agile, almost yogic minds, able to bend the way our prospect bends, and twist the way our clients twist.

We’re not all cookie cutters. Unfortunately old-fashioned sales training has attempted to turn people into just that. It’s the same thing over and over. Instead, and through the process of learning persuasion, we don’t have boxes to begin with. We have frames, which like a pair of glasses can be changed according to what we’re wearing or whether it’s sunny out. The frames we use are far more powerful in determining our prospect or client’s needs and desires as we work with them.

When we choose how we view the world instead of allowing outside forces to choose for us, we have a magnificent capacity to influence and sell like never before.

Our capacity to frame improves with practice (similar to all things from learning a language, to learning an instrument, to learning yoga or starting an exercise regime). We absolutely do improve the more we try something. There’s no getting around that. The key is to do it. And do it again.

Writing out exercises and repeating language patterns within our given fields, coming up with lists of objections that we commonly get and then reframing the objections before they even come up in conversations with our prospects and clients, studying the thirty six Chinese stratagems as a way to further our internal understanding of what it means to be persuasive. . . these are easy steps to really installing in yourself the ability to persuade powerfully.

Kenrick

Dear Persuader,

I saw a commercial that really struck me as an example of hilariously warped framing. The soundtrack to this commercial is an old Rolling Stones song, ‘I’m Free’. People are frolicking around, as they are in many commercials, and they are spending money they probably don’t have. The commercial is for the Chase Freedom Card.

The frame is this: using this card frees you, liberates you, allows you to do anything you want to do, any time you want to do it. You can buy furniture, go to Paris, order anything you want online, and experience true, unadulterated independence, choice and autonomy if you’d only just apply for this card.

I don’t think they were going for irony, but it struck me immediately. Being in debt is the absolute opposite of being free.  Of course, they’re not saying you’ll be ‘free from debt’ but free to spend as much as your credit line allows and free to possibly default on your payments and in turn, free to pay exorbitant late fees and finance charges.

So, in a sense, I guess you really are free with the Freedom Card.

As a young man I realized the slippery slope that credit cards represented. And I’ll tell you, these years were not about frolicking and laughing about how much cool stuff I was able to get without exchanging cash.

My students are not people who carry enormous amounts of credit card debt, so when I teach it’s almost like I’m preaching to the choir when I say that debt, especially of the credit card variety, is bad debt.

If you’re in a position where you can’t yet afford to frolic using cash, it’s not time yet to frolic. Build up a reserve of ‘F’ you money (which, I realize, is a bit of a naughty term, but truly what it encompasses—the ability to tell any boss or employer “‘F’ you, I’m not going to be subjected to this”—is worth more than any bauble or superfluous item bought on credit with the Freedom Card).

Okay, enough of that lecture. . . My real point here was to discuss the frame around the concept of credit as freedom.  By taking a rather nefarious industry, giving it a fresh coat of paint, giving it a theme song, calling it exactly the opposite of what it is, Chase has tried to reinvent their image from something that imprisons people in debt, to something that gives people the ability to live life to the fullest.

Is it false advertising? I see it as that. Is the frame effective? Are people really buying it? Well, when I mentioned this commercial to one of my employees she told me that she and her husband have a ‘Freedom Card’ and constantly joke about how much freer they feel whenever they’re forced to use it (i.e. emergency vet bills or something unexpected popping up). She told me she recently replaced their television set and put it on the freedom card. ‘At least I’ll have something to watch while I’m not experiencing freedom.’

Frame your way to freedom... or not.  =)

Kenrick

Hi Persuader,

I want to just mention this basic truism of persuasion: the power is in the presentation. The power is not in the closing.

When I was a young man, I had been in sales for a couple of years and I was excelling quickly so they made me a closer. I would be the guy that when the sales person was missing his or her mark, I would come in and try to still get the sale.

I was good at it. I did really well. But after a couple of months of doing this, I began to see some patterns emerge. It was funny because each of the people that worked for me at the time, I could tell exactly where I would have to shore up their presentation in order to close the deal because I knew what they weren't doing well.

Further, it seemed like the same people had the same patterns and I always felt, back then, that if they would just do a better job in presenting, my job would be really easy. In fact, I probably wouldn't be needed nearly as much, if at all.

Most of the time I was able to turn it around; sometimes I couldn't. The bottom line is, that the power of every single sale is in the presentation, not in your ability to argue or close.

My Magical Objection Mastery series, the 24 doorways into a person's mind, enables you to persuade before the objections come with huge success in overcoming the objections that will inevitably come up in a person's mind. Knowing how to do that kind of framing and reframing is incredibly important and there's nothing finer in my opinion than the Magical Objection Mastery program.

There are some incredibly important characteristics of having really convinced someone. If you've done that, closing in the typical sense isn't really necessary anyway.

Imagine just for a moment that you bought something that you were really happy with and the product or service worked well for you. Identify this in your mind. One you have done this, I want you to go through this list. Did you feel trust towards the person? Are you aware now as you think back about it that you didn't have much doubt at least about the person? Did you feel an urgency to get what they were trying to sell you?

You probably had a desire for it. I'll bet you saw the value in the product and you were visualizing owning it and benefiting from it. Buying it was relatively easy.

Now imagine for a moment that you did that and then the person started doing some kind of old fashioned closing techniques. They said, "If I can show you a way to get this and save time, energy and money, I'm sure you would be interested in doing that now wouldn't you?"

As you hear that statement and you're contrasting it with the good feelings you had at that time, I'll bet you that kind of statement doesn't sit well with you. In fact, it'd feel pretty funny if someone tried to do it to you.

If you've been persuasive in what you've presented, if you've been careful to observe whether or not your prospect is with you the whole way, agreeing with you, if you've been continuously linking to their values and more then getting the sale will be really easy.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Okay, so not only is there this economic crisis percolating, but there's an election coming up pretty darn soon. (I wonder if these two things have anything at all to do with each other. )

In the spirit of the season, I'd like to talk about the politician's most favorite past time: spin. No, I'm not talking about spinning classes you take at the gym. Those are incredibly difficult and the seats are painfully hard, if you ask me. I'm talking about the process of spinning a story (a political debate, a campaign speech, what have you) to put it in the best light for your side. The idea behind spinning is that everybody wants to put their slant on an issue.

I'm going to go back to the salad days just for an example here. I'm going back to a State of the Union address from many years ago -- I won't name names, but I'll say that the president at the time was talking about what to do with a surplus in the budget. (Wow, that was a long time ago!)

So in this address, he said that for the first time in history, we had an excess in our budget. His plan for the surplus was to "be responsible with the surplus" and not just dump it back into people's pockets to be spent. He wanted to put it towards Social Security and do the "responsible" thing by investing in American companies and in the American stock market.

Well, what happens after any political event? Well, depending on which network you're watching either one or both sides make comments and attempt to persuade you to think how they think (as opposed to you thinking for yourself). This presupposes that there are only two sides which I absolutely do not agree with.

After hearing the speech, we then get to hear the "opposing" side put their two cents in. When this surplus existed, we had a democrat as a president and the republican talking heads got up and said something to the effect of, 'The president says he wants to be responsible and he says that you can't be responsible. Do you mean to tell me the great citizens of this United States can't be responsible with their money? The president wants to control you. He wants to control how you spend your money and where you spend it.'

The basics of this are the frame of responsibility and what they do then is they try to knock that frame out and say, control freak, government interference.

Then the democrats come back with their own spin. And if you were going to spin it the other way, you would analyze the emotionally charged words the republican spinner used. How do they knock out control freak/government interference and put back 'for the people'?

They come back with their argument. One that may work is, well, you could certainly call that being controlling and trying to take control of the money, but by the same token, the citizens of the United States, while great and sovereign, have demonstrated that they're more willing to spend their money on other things besides long term savings. We've got an obligation as a government to deal with these people as they get older. '

The "two sides" can go on like that until they turn blue in the face. Who wins? Well, whoever is able to implant in your mind the highest frame and hold it there. And that's really what this is all about.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"Hope is the expectation that something outside of ourselves, something or someone external, is going to come to our rescue and we will live happily ever after." -- Dr. Robert Anthony

Hi Persuader,

Seven hundred billion (plus) dollars. How did they end up selling it? Well, there was fear. There was scarcity. There was impending doom. And it lead to panic and more fear and more doom. They said if it didn't happen, surely we'd be ruined. They called it a bailout and when the public outcry was so strong that the house refused to pass it, they switched it to a rescue plan.

White House spokesman Tony Fratto told journalists who had been using the term (as were we all) "bailout" to describe the $700 billion package. "It's really unfortunate shorthand for a very complicated issue." The White House prefers the word "rescue."

Those in charge believed that they would be in a better situation if this were known as a "rescue" rather than a "bailout." Bailout sounds terrible. Rescue is safe. It gives you a warm feeling -- like coming to while on the operating table.

And then Senator McCain got on the framing bandwagon and said, "Well I think what happened is we didn't convince enough Republicans and Democrats…that this was a rescue package and not a bailout." Convincing and persuasion was in order because face value wasn't good enough.

I watched a bit of the CSPAN, the CNN, the FOX and the MSNBC while this was going down, as much as I could handle, and mainly from the perspective of, who's being more persuasive in this deal. (CSPAN wins because they have no pundits at all.)

Problem is, this is so complicated that you have to be an economist or financial advisor or banking expert to understand it. It's enough to make the common man's eyes gloss over except for the fact that the taxpayer wasn't having it because it was coming out of their pocket.

And now that there's been a "rescue" (not that we the people have been rescued, but that big banks and such have been rescued), it seems like it's not gotten any easier to understand.

The frame stuck, however, that this had to happen. The frame was that if it didn't happen, the world would crumble starting with "Main Street". The frame was that there was no way for the market to correct itself. The frame was that socializing the banks (in my opinion this is a form of socialism), was the only way for us not to head into a tailspin.

The real problem isn't in the framing of this. The real problem isn't the persuasiveness or lack thereof of the parties involved. The problem with this plan is not that it has been improperly spun. The real problem is that it won't fix the crisis.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Try this: I'm sure you'll get it real quick but because you're all such good folks out there, I want you to spell the word 'folk' three times. Do it right now in your mind. Spell the word 'folk' three times as fast as you can.

Now what do you call the white part of an egg?

Did you say yolk? Really?

Are you asking your prospects the right questions to get to their deepest values and criteria? When we elicit criteria, if we're doing it right, our prospects don't understand what they are really giving us.

So how can we make the most of each question we ask? An extremely important thing to remember is that the questions cause the answer. What does that mean? It means that as we learn to better ask the question, we're going to be a lot better at making persuasion happen.

If I were to look at you as a brand new client, and you've never bought anything from me before and let's say I'm an advisor and I'm there to help you with wealth planning throughout your generations and I say, "Would you just tell me the two or three things that you need to hear me say today to make you buy? Just tell me so that we can get this part out of the way. Go ahead. I'm listening."

What would happen? That's right. Nothing. They'd probably either tell you to leave or they'd get up and walk out. Yet magically, when we elicit their criteria, they gladly give that very same information to us.

Why? Well, to an extent, it's disguised.

Your prospect does not understand what they're giving you when you ask this way. They don't get it. Once in a blue moon you'll find someone giving you resistance to this, but it doesn't happen often.

Even if they did understand what they were giving us, it is socially correct and absolutely acceptable to find out what they need prior to recommending a product or service. Doctors don't just prescribe medicine prior to finding out about your history, finding out if you have allergies or without finding out why you're there to see them. Neither do consultants, lawyers, or sales people. We simply cannot give people any recommendation if we don't know what they want or need.

Here's the point and this is important: we're setting people's minds up so that we can enter them and we can get them to do what we want them to do. We can set them going along a direction that when we interrupt that direction, we can cause them to immediately, as if it was always so, go along with what we're saying. (What's the white part of an egg called?)

When I ask you 'what's important about X?' or 'if I were a magician and I had a magic wand and I could wave it and get you anything in business you want, what would it be?' I'm listening very intently for where you have the strongest emotional reaction to one of the words that you're saying.

We're opening the people's minds. We're opening them to their own desires, to their own things.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities."
--Eric Hoffer

Hi Persuader,

I had a teacher who was relentlessly optimistic and positive about everything. As a teenager, it sort of bugged me because. . . .well, because I was a teenager and teenagers are seldom relentlessly optimistic or positive. Everything "bad" could be turned into something "good" according to this teacher. Setbacks and obstacles were learning experiences. Crushes gone bad and broken hearts were just a preparation for really clarifying what we wanted in a mate. Struggles with certain subjects in school became self challenges that we could, by all means, triumph over.

Ugh. It really annoyed me.

Now, as an adult, and a parent of teenagers (who happen not to be pessimists or negative), I realize that she was 100%, absolutely correct.

We get into these ruts. . . we get into these ways of thinking about things around us that keep us trapped. It's the old cliché of the 'glass half full/glass half empty'.

The events in your life are not what make you who you are, but it is your response to these events that show your true character. Lately I've been really exploring the idea that our emotions and emotional responses to external stimuli, are choices. Emotions are choices. That's a revelation in some ways. It's very freeing. I'm not connected to anger if I don't want to be. I'm not responding with fear because I choose not to. I'm not choosing to be depressed about things I have no control over.

And if you notice, those last three statements are in the form of negative statements. Changing this pattern also requires that we pay careful and patient attention to the language we use. I am . . . I am choosing to be courageous. I am choosing to let this go. I am choosing to realize that I am separate from the things that happen around me.

What if just by readjusting our obstacles into opportunities, we attract more of what we want? What if it's that simple? Wouldn't it be worth it to suspend cynicism? Wouldn't it be worth it to let go of the patterns that have kept us stagnant? I should think so.

I only wish I had learned this lesson earlier. Not that I was a depressed or pessimistic kid, but we all have moments. . . This reframing of struggle into potential and exciting lessons is exactly the kind of thing that we as persuaders can learn from. Framing and reframing our lives and the lives of those around us is absolutely mandatory if we want to succeed in persuasion. Helping others to see that the glass is half full, helping others to see how our products and services will benefit them immeasurably in life, helping our loved ones, our teenagers, to realize that every day we make the choice (many times unconsciously) to be unhappy, is a real revelation. Let's make our choices consciously and use that consciousness for relentless optimism.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail."
-- Abraham H. Maslow

Hi Persuader,

In school, unless we had an alternative education, we were taught history through the eyes of the powerful and elite. We learned about Columbus' voyage to discover the new world and what he encountered there. We learned all about the founding fathers and the Declaration of Independence. We learned that Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves.

This is clearly an overly simplified description of a narrow overview, but I use these examples just to make a point. If we're viewing history from the perspective of those in power, we're not really viewing history, are we.

The frame that education uses, the frame mandated for public educational institutions, (funded by public money and which curriculum is determined by the "powers that be"), is a positive one, for the most part. Revising history is a work of fiction, '1984', and couldn't possibly happen. But if you think about it, all history is revision.

I came across "The People's History of the United States". It's a book that has been around for almost thirty years and continues to be updated as history continues to be move forward.

This book is a classic reframe and whether or not we can agree that the perspective is valid, or "Marxist" or "socialist", we have to agree that it is an entirely different frame from what we're used to.

Look at Columbus' "discovery" from the perspective of the people who were already there: genocide and blankets with small pox.

And how about those cute Thanksgiving pilgrims that we regard as fleeing religious persecution and bravely venturing onto the New World. The natives might see this as more of a violent colonization by early English settlers.

There's a fascinating reframe at the end of the most recent edition regarding the "War on Terror". Instead of accepting the perspective, the frame that Arab terrorists attacked us on 9/11 because they hate our freedom, think about this: they were fed up with our foreign policy, our "stationing of U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia... sanctions against Iraq which... had resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of children; [and] the continued U.S. support of Israel's occupation of Palestinian land."

Huh? That's not what the news tells us. Why hasn't this perspective been reported?

Frames are complicated, just as reality is complicated, just as life is complicated, but if we can see the frames for what they are, then we can control them.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Has this ever happened to you? You're driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, maybe not, and those red and blue lights begin to flash in your rearview mirror. So you pull over and prepare your papers. . . license, registration, proof of insurance. And the law enforcement officer makes his way to your window, quickly so as to not waste your time, and politely says, 'Hi. . .I'm just wondering if you . . .I'm so sorry to bother you. But would you mind showing me your license and registration? I think there might have been a slight infraction of the law and I'd really like to clear it up if you don't mind. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience.'

Umm. . . No, that hasn't happened to you. And it will never happen to you. Why? Law enforcement officers don't care about your convenience or worry about offending you. It's not the frame within which they are operating. Their frame is, 'I'm in charge. You do what I tell you to do. I have all the power in this interaction and I have absolutely no problem using this power in any way I see fit.'

Maybe not all officers are that extreme but I'm exaggerating a little to make my point.

The frames we set for ourselves and our exchanges with others are what color every business transaction and every romantic or personal interaction we have. Whoever sets the stronger frame, wins.

This doesn't mean we have to pull power trips on people. Absolutely not. This simply means that when we come to the table, we have to have our resolve strong and our place in the negotiations set. I'm not going to approach a potential new student with, 'Well, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to give you a little advice to help learn persuasion and how to increase sales. . .' Heck no! First of all, I know full and well that I'm absolutely certain I can teach anyone to increase sales through persuasion. There's no beating around the bush. I'm not shy about these things. How good a persuader would I be if I were shy about my ability to help people?

Framing is what we use to control everything. If we extend that and look at what that means, in any area of our life, there are frames that are operating and those frames are dictating our behavior, our responses and the way in which the interaction takes place.

We have the frame of the sales person and the perspective client. One frame that operates is, 'Prove to me why I need you or why I should use you.' That might be a frame that the client is coming from. A frame that the advisor might adopt might be, 'I am the expert in this field and so I work with people who understand that and can take advantage of what I tell them.'

But supposing you came from the frame of, 'I'm really not anybody. I'm just kind of trying to survive here. I don't know a whole lot, really. I just sort of represent a couple of companies that years ago, I guess I somehow lucked into my license and I represent a couple of companies that have a few things available and maybe there's something you want.'

Am I going to sign up with that guy? No. No one is.

Before your next meeting take some time to think about the framework you're using to work with the people around you.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuaders,

I'm sitting in a hotel room doing some research when I happened upon an article on politics. And while I typically am not all that interested in the Democratic party, this race has been different.

As I read it, I began to think of some things that I believe to be true (whether I like it or not). Here they are in no particular order.

The people in the United States are rather fed up with Republicans and with the way they are running things. (In my opinion this is too bad as I've always leaned toward that side - Libertarian actually.).

Whom ever wins the Democratic nomination will most likely become the next President of the United States.

Persuasion matters! Whom ever uses it the best will easily catapult above the other.

And in terms of persuasion, Obama wins hands down over Clinton.

If you want to watch powerful persuasion positioning, just watch what Obama is doing.

So do I believe he'll be the next President? If I had to make my answer based on persuasion skill, it would be yes, overwhelmingly. I believe he will defeat Hillary and between Obama and McCain, Obama should handily win.

The "tax and spend" policies of the far left my haunt us for many years to come, but they can't be worse than we've had with Bush at the helm. LOL

Of course, the real deal is also available. A politician with honor and integrity (believe it or not) and his name is Ron Paul. Unfortunately, from what I've seen, he believes that simply asserting the right position will make him win. He could benefit from some persuasion coaching but his message is amazing. But without real persuasion skills, I fear it is lost on the world. Not to mention that when millions of people have their collective hands out, they may well opt for the tax and spend left.

Ok, if you'd like to see what I read that started all this in my mind, here you go.

http://www.sacbee.com/110/story/732748.html

Let me know your thoughts.

Kenrick