Dear Persuader,

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - to choose one's own way.”   - Victor Frankl

Every time I hear someone talk about “thinking outside the box” I chuckle.  Like any cliché or catchphrase, thinking outside the box has been so overused as to become downright irritating.

From business coaches and management consultants to the realms of education, sports, sales and self help... think about how many times you’ve heard someone say in order to succeed or break through to higher levels of achievement, we have to step outside of the boxes that society has dictated we exist in.

Well, what is this box and why is it such a hindrance? And isn’t this just another way to say we need to be creative with the frames that we use to view the world?

I agree in theory with this concept in that persuasion requires a fluid creativity and flexibility that is not easily contained by restrictions and limitations. Business has been reduced to a rigid constant in many respects.  Trying to distill something as broad as business, and something as complex as sales, into easily digestible bites has been something old fashioned sales and marketing trainers have long tried to do.

Every situation is particular, each client or prospect has a very specific key or trigger which our creative sleuthing requires us to uncover. Remaining static is not an option in this quest. We have to have agile, almost yogic minds, able to bend the way our prospect bends, and twist the way our clients twist.

We’re not all cookie cutters. Unfortunately old-fashioned sales training has attempted to turn people into just that. It’s the same thing over and over. Instead, and through the process of learning persuasion, we don’t have boxes to begin with. We have frames, which like a pair of glasses can be changed according to what we’re wearing or whether it’s sunny out. The frames we use are far more powerful in determining our prospect or client’s needs and desires as we work with them.

When we choose how we view the world instead of allowing outside forces to choose for us, we have a magnificent capacity to influence and sell like never before.

Our capacity to frame improves with practice (similar to all things from learning a language, to learning an instrument, to learning yoga or starting an exercise regime). We absolutely do improve the more we try something. There’s no getting around that. The key is to do it. And do it again.

Writing out exercises and repeating language patterns within our given fields, coming up with lists of objections that we commonly get and then reframing the objections before they even come up in conversations with our prospects and clients, studying the thirty six Chinese stratagems as a way to further our internal understanding of what it means to be persuasive. . . these are easy steps to really installing in yourself the ability to persuade powerfully.

Kenrick

Dear Persuader,

In a previous article I talked about using the term ‘everything happens for a reason’ to utilize the trust that many people have in this concept. I also wrote about superstition and the concept that ‘there are no accidents’ which happens to be a very powerful persuasion tool, and if you’ve read those two articles and attempted to implement the learning into your life, you already know what I mean about power.

Well, assigning blame is the other side of the ‘everything happens for a reason’/’there are no accidents’ coin. Wherein both of these concepts use our prospect’s belief in an ordered, equitable universe, assigning blame uses a common enemy as a means to persuade.

Better hang on here if you are religiously oriented because I’m going to shake the tree just a little bit here. (Disclaimer: My intention is never to intrude on anyone’s beliefs or practices because I vehemently believe in Freedom of Religion and to me, this extends to spiritual practice of all kind. But, like it or not, religion and spirituality are intertwined with everything in life and I use the examples below to teach persuasion, not to push my beliefs or dissuade yours.)

In group theory, there’s a lot of discussion about enemies, common enemies. One of the greatest ways you can ever use to bond a group is for them to have a common enemy.

Let’s start with Christianity as an example. What’s the common enemy of Christianity? Well, you probably know right off the top of your head, it’s the devil. How is this installed in Christians from an early age?  Well, we start saying things like, ‘We as humans are born into a world of sin and the mere act of being born causes us to not be able to get into the life hereafter until and unless we accept Jesus as our savior.’

That’s pretty intense. Let’s look at the enemy. The enemy is, just being born, because we’re born into sin. Who’s responsible for that? The devil.

This is a great tool. I heard someone say many years ago, ‘The devil is the best friend the Christian ever had because without him, there would be no need for a savior.’ Think about the word ‘savior’. Savior implies someone needs saving. And if you’re born into sin, you in fact do need saving.

Again, I’m not debating any of this. In fact, I’m kind of being the devil’s advocate here, so to speak, because I’m literally standing back and removing my own beliefs just to point out to you what’s going on so you can see this.

Now does it mean, by the way, having a common enemy is a bad thing? No, I think common enemies are great things. But one has to be careful and responsible. Is it responsible of a Christian to say that the devil’s a common enemy? Absolutely.

Also note the advantage of pointing at a common enemy that you can’t see, you can’t hear, and in fact, even humanities basic drives and desires can be attributed to the influence of this being? It’s pretty amazing. (From my previous article ‘Very Superstitious’, can see how this might fit into the definition of ‘superstition’?)

We have an inherent need to assign blame. In fact, it’s so fundamental to the core of who we are that everybody does this.

How about a political example? How about the ‘War on Terror’ or the ‘War on Poverty’? It’s virtually impossible to argue that anyone is for ‘terror’ or ‘poverty’.  These are cultural common enemies. Terror and poverty, however, are concepts, not actual, tangible physical groups against which a war can be won, but notice how insanely powerful as enemies.  If winning a ‘war’ against a concept were possible, I’d sign up and fight.

So I’m contrasting ‘things happen for a reason’ with ‘blame.’ So at our core, we look to assign fault.

A word of warning: I wouldn’t dwell in the land of negativity, it’s like a double-edged sword. It cuts going and coming. Be very careful.

Kenrick

PS... Be sure and post your comments to the blog.

Dear Persuader,

Last week I got a call from an acquaintance of mine. He said, ‘Remember that conversation we had about Africa a few weeks ago? Well, I just checked my e-mail and you won’t believe it. I won an international lottery originating in Africa.  You know, I’m just convinced everything happens for a reason, don’t you think?’

I thought for a few moments and I responded, ‘You know, I think you’re right. Everything does happen for a reason and really it’s a good thing that we’re talking right now.’ I went on to explain that I personally win probably three or four international lotteries a day and none of them are real.

I got to thinking about this conversation and I realized that people look for supporting evidence for what they want in their environment. In this case, here he was remembering our conversation, then he received an e-mail talking about winning a lottery from Africa and somehow he kind of put two and two together in a way that didn’t add up. That’s when he began talking about everything happening for a reason.

Unfortunately, I had to burst the bubble in order to keep him safe, but the point of it is why did he use that language? This language pattern is going to knock your socks off and enable you to influence and persuade in a very deep and profound way.

Why do people look for supporting evidence for what they want in their environment? Oftentimes they do this because our world is very unstable. Whenever there’s a tremendous lack of stability, with everything kind of up in the air, people start turning to religion, they start turning to God, they start turning to spirituality and they become more superstitious.

As I explain this pattern to you, please understand, my goal is to break things down in a way that gives us tremendous power with our language, our words and persuasion, and in so doing, help you to have more success in your life. That’s my purpose in this discussion. If you don’t believe in God, or you’re not a spiritual person, my point is not to influence you towards or away from anything except towards a language pattern or away from not being as successful as you like, that you’ll be able to use these patterns for your benefit and for the benefit of your clients.

When I said, ‘everything does happen for a reason’ it means that I’m alluding to something more than simply what he’s just referred to and that’s really important that he understood. Then I went on to say, ‘Good thing we’re talking’. Again, this implies that there’s perhaps something more than what he was just thinking about. That set the stage for me to have entry into his mind and to help him to understand the difficulty that he was about to face.

People look for supporting evidence for what they want in their environment and I believe it’s our job to give it to them. There are language patterns that are in the popular lexicon right now that we can use to our advantage very powerfully.

When we hear these things we can use them to our advantage powerfully, and I mean, really powerfully. For example, saying ‘things happen for a reason’ supports what you want to happen.

Let’s say you’re an advisor and you’re talking with someone, and they say something positive like, ‘Wow, it’s a good thing that I’m talking with you here today because I feel like I’m really getting somewhere in my learning, in my understanding of how all this works.’ And your response could be, ‘Fantastic, after all, there are no accidents, right?’

Is that a stretch to say? I don’t think it’s a stretch for anybody, no matter what our belief system is. After all, everything happens for a reason, it’s just a matter of whether or not it’s a reason you like.

No language pattern is an island and our goal as persuaders is to layer pattern upon pattern and these patterns piece together a deeper sense of reality when you do this right, what you’re going to be doing is using all sorts of these patterns at high speed.

To your success!

Kenrick

PS... Don't forget to post your thoughts and comments on the blog.

Dear Persuader,

Have you ever gone into a supermarket or drugstore for a tube of toothpaste and found yourself confronted with forty different varieties?

It’s a simple enough substance—toothpaste—which we use every day (hopefully - don't get me started on Jessica Simpson), and yet there are dozens and dozens of choices.  There are toothpastes with whiteners and/or baking soda; toothpastes for sensitive gums; natural toothpastes; toothpastes of various flavors —cinnamon, spearmint, fennel, wintergreen; kids toothpastes--silly strawberry, bubble gum, berry. And once we figure out the brand, we have to figure out what size and then tube, pump, squeeze bottle etc...

It takes most of us seconds to choose because we don’t stray from what we’ve been using ‘forever’ or staying brand loyal to what our parents used. But when our parents were growing up, there weren’t nearly as many choices.

It’s a minor, run of the mill decision, but one that illustrates just how very many choices we make every single day, from our toothpaste, to cell phone provider, to the brands we eat, wear and use.

Barry Schwartz, professor of Social Theory and Social Action at Swarthmore College, has written a book called, ‘The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less—How The Culture of Abundance Robs us of Satisfaction’.  It is a very interesting look at how the ever expanding amount of ‘choice’ we have in every dimension of our lives is eroding the simple pleasures that used to be omnipresent.

This is an important perspective especially as it relates to our professions, products, and services. How many of you are there out in the world? Are you one in a million or one of a million? And how can your existence simplify the life of your prospect or client?

The goal of choice has been to liberate us, to give us a degree of control over our lives, to give us autonomy and distinction. However, as Mr. Schwartz suggests, ‘. . .as the number of choices keeps growing, negative aspects of having a multitude of options begin to appear. As the number of choices grows further, the negatives escalate until we become overloaded.’

As people who sell a product or service, we need to keep in mind that there are a multitude of similar products or service providers out there and that what makes us special is that, as persuaders, we are able to reach into the core of our prospects and clients to discover their specific key, their unique combination of values and criteria. When we establish rapport, elicit criteria, and establish ourselves as ‘the answer’, there is no need for this unbearable overload to occur in the minds of our prospects.

Schwartz writes of the political philosopher Isaiah Berlin, who beautifully described the continuum of towards and away in his distinction between ‘negative liberty’ and ‘positive liberty’.  He says, “Negative liberty is ‘freedom from’—freedom from constraint, freedom from being told what to do by others. Positive liberty is ‘freedom to’—the availability of opportunities to be the author of your life and to make it meaningful and significant.”

Wow!  A better description of the ‘towards/away’ continuum doesn’t exist. Do we see in our prospects the desire to be free from constraints? How can we show them that our product or service is the answer to this? Do we have a towards person who wants to take in all the amazing opportunities our products and services have to offer? In what ways to do you see the paradox of choice at play in your business life?

Be sure and post your comments to the blog.

Kenrick

Dear Persuader,

I saw a commercial that really struck me as an example of hilariously warped framing. The soundtrack to this commercial is an old Rolling Stones song, ‘I’m Free’. People are frolicking around, as they are in many commercials, and they are spending money they probably don’t have. The commercial is for the Chase Freedom Card.

The frame is this: using this card frees you, liberates you, allows you to do anything you want to do, any time you want to do it. You can buy furniture, go to Paris, order anything you want online, and experience true, unadulterated independence, choice and autonomy if you’d only just apply for this card.

I don’t think they were going for irony, but it struck me immediately. Being in debt is the absolute opposite of being free.  Of course, they’re not saying you’ll be ‘free from debt’ but free to spend as much as your credit line allows and free to possibly default on your payments and in turn, free to pay exorbitant late fees and finance charges.

So, in a sense, I guess you really are free with the Freedom Card.

As a young man I realized the slippery slope that credit cards represented. And I’ll tell you, these years were not about frolicking and laughing about how much cool stuff I was able to get without exchanging cash.

My students are not people who carry enormous amounts of credit card debt, so when I teach it’s almost like I’m preaching to the choir when I say that debt, especially of the credit card variety, is bad debt.

If you’re in a position where you can’t yet afford to frolic using cash, it’s not time yet to frolic. Build up a reserve of ‘F’ you money (which, I realize, is a bit of a naughty term, but truly what it encompasses—the ability to tell any boss or employer “‘F’ you, I’m not going to be subjected to this”—is worth more than any bauble or superfluous item bought on credit with the Freedom Card).

Okay, enough of that lecture. . . My real point here was to discuss the frame around the concept of credit as freedom.  By taking a rather nefarious industry, giving it a fresh coat of paint, giving it a theme song, calling it exactly the opposite of what it is, Chase has tried to reinvent their image from something that imprisons people in debt, to something that gives people the ability to live life to the fullest.

Is it false advertising? I see it as that. Is the frame effective? Are people really buying it? Well, when I mentioned this commercial to one of my employees she told me that she and her husband have a ‘Freedom Card’ and constantly joke about how much freer they feel whenever they’re forced to use it (i.e. emergency vet bills or something unexpected popping up). She told me she recently replaced their television set and put it on the freedom card. ‘At least I’ll have something to watch while I’m not experiencing freedom.’

Frame your way to freedom... or not.  =)

Kenrick

In today’s issue, you’ll learn about a fascinating tool that will allow you to amp up the ease in which you can persuade someone.

Binds are a fascinating strategy in persuasion which should be used sparingly (especially in writing), a little ‘persuasion seasoning’ so to speak.

Binds are language patterns and like all language patterns there’s a formula.

For single binds there are two formulas: the first is, ‘if X, Y’ and the second is ‘the more you X, the more you Y.’

As a general rule, the X will be a pace (something that is verifiably true) but it can also include a suggestion or a challenge, and the Y will be a lead, how you want them to think or respond but they’re not currently doing, necessarily. (For more on pacing and leading, stay tuned.)

In other words, you can think of X as the set up, and Y is the punch line.

‘If you develop a deep understanding of the power of binds, you’ll feel compelled to sign up for The Persuasion Factor.’

Okay. . .that’s a pretty obvious example. Very transparent, I know, but you see that the first part of the sentence ‘if you develop a deep understanding of the power of binds’ is a suggestion or challenge, and ‘you’ll feel compelled to sign up for The Persuasion Factor’ is the lead, what I want you to do which you may not currently be doing.

Here’s another example: ‘The more you read what I’m explaining, the more you’ll understand the power of using it.’

Let’s break that down a little. The more you read about something, i.e. the more you read about using binds, the more you will understand how powerful they are to use. Is this true? Possibly. I think it is. But it’s more of a presupposition than it is solid, hard, cold fact.

Binds do not have to in any way make sense or be logical.

For example: ‘The more you hear about this piece of property, the more you will be compelled to buy it.’
Is that logical? Not necessarily. In other words, hearing a lot about something doesn’t compel people to buy. Hearing the right things about something might compel someone to buy, but the suggestion here is that that there is a logical link between hearing about the property and being compelled to buy it. You’re creating that link, you’re creating the truth, and you’re making it so in their minds.

Here’s where we start to get into some really interesting ways of using this. ‘The more you try and object, the more you will find yourself going along with these ideas.’

What are we really doing here? We’re issuing a challenge. The more you try and do something we don’t want you to do, the more you’ll find yourself doing what we want you to do.

Here’s another one: ‘The more you want to feel good about yourself, the more you’ll need to act now on this proposal.’

You might say, ‘Kenrick, you can’t just say that to people.’ Well, yes I can. And I do. And it works great. It helps if you make them sound natural. And it also helps to understand them and the related strategies that can make their acceptance even better.

My advice: write some samples out before you try using this technique. It is something that needs to be delivered smoothly or you will get an odd reaction.

Questions? Comments? Login to the blog and let me know.

Sure enough. Tony Robbins said that to a woman crying her eyes out when
we worked with her on stage.

And guess what happened.

She stopped crying.

In fact, she just stopped.

Finally she stammered, "What do you mean?"

And Tony told her she was crying so hard it looked like someone peed on her
face.

She was silent and than began to laugh.

Tony was able to move her to a place where he could work on her problem.

A lot of the people you meet as a persuader are stuck in their own minds.

And we as persuaders need to be able to ask them - "Who Peed On Their Face".

However, I suspect if you aren't on stage like Tony AND you don't have
Tony's leverage,
that might not be the wisest strategy.

Instead, let me show you how I persuade today using Kenrick's Persuasion
Interrupts.

Go here to view the short video:

http://www.maxpersuasion.com/persuasion_interrupts

In a famous Greek legend, the Gordian knot was the name given to an
intricate knot used by Gordius to secure his oxcart.

Gordius, who was a poor peasant, arrived with his wife in a public square of
Phrygia in an oxcart.

An oracle had informed the populace that their future king would come riding
in a wagon.

Seeing Gordius, the people made him king.

In gratitude, Gordius dedicated his oxcart to Zeus, tying it up with a
peculiar knot.

An oracle foretold that he who untied the knot would rule all of Asia.

Many people tried to undo the knot but all to no avail. The penalty for
failing to untie the knot was death.

In 333 B.C. Alexander the Great had invaded Asia Minor and arrived in the
central mountains at the town of Gordium;

He was 23 years old. Alexander was undefeated, but without a decisive
victory either.

He was in need of an omen to prove to his troops and his enemies that the
outcome of his mission - to conquer the known world - was possible.

In Gordium, by the Temple of the Zeus Basilica, was the ox cart, which had
been put there by the King of Phrygia over 100 years before.

The staves of the cart were tied together in a complex knot with the ends
tucked away inside.

Having arrived at Gordium it was inconceivable that the young, impetuous
Alexander would not attempt to tackle the legendary "Gordian Knot".

Alexander climbed the hill and approached the cart as a crowd of curious
Macedonians and Phrygians gathered around.

They watched intently as Alexander struggled with the knot and became
frustrated.

Alexander, stepping back, called out, "What does it matter how I loose it?"
With that, he drew his sword, and in one powerful stroke severed the knot.
Alexander the Great went on to conquer most of Asia before his death.

This story isn't about Alexander the Great.

It's about YOU.

It's about cutting through all of the nonsense and making more sales.

It's about connecting with your customers in a new way.

You've never experienced the power of my all new program.

Here's the sword that's working today. Click here to watch the video

Hey, it's Kenrick with a video today.

It's about my latest breakthrough technique.

It's straight out of my persuasion lab and
it's about what you need to do to pump up your sales.

If you're not meeting your sales goals,

If you're tired of listening to people whining about the economy,

I want you to check out this video about what's working TODAY.

Not SHOULD BE working.

Not will work a YEAR FROM NOW.

But this is what is WORKING RIGHT NOW.

So check out this video.

http://www.maxpersuasion.com/persuasion_interrupts/

My friend Harlan Kilstein just shared with me an article that appeared that I just have to share with you.

One of the secrets to Unconscious Persuasion is talking unconsciously to the subject's right ear.

As it turns out, it's scientifically proven this works.

Here's the scoop: (straight from a University study)

Asking a favour? Talk to the right ear

If you are planning on asking someone to do you a favour, make sure you are speaking into their right ear.

Scientists have found we are much more likely to help someone out if they make the request in our right ear.

It is thought to be because info received through the right ear is processed by the left side of the brain.

This is more logical and better at deciphering verbal information.

Scientists in Italy tested this by asking 176 nightclubbers for a cigarette. They obtained significantly more
cigarettes when they spoke to the clubbers' right ear compared with their left.

The boffins debated keeping the findings to themselves so their friends didn't get wise to their right-ear
begging ways, but eventually published a paper on the study.

Dr Luca Tommasi of the University of Chieti in central Italy, said the results confirm a right ear/left
hemisphere advantage for verbal communication and that if you want to get something done - you should talk to people in their right ear.

"Our studies corroborate the idea of a common ancestry - in humans and other species - of lateralized behavior during social interactions, not only for species-specific vocal communication, but also for affective responses."

End of Article

Now that is powerful stuff.

If you want to see how we use it (we are so ahead of the game on this one)

Check out our video at www.unconsciouspersuasion.com

And let me talk into your right ear.

Kenrick E. Cleveland