A very spiritual woman I know shared the following with me: she said, ‘I used to have unfortunate beliefs about myself and I received back from external influences unfortunate results. When I decided to take control and raise my resonance, to be the change I wanted to become, to allow abundance and love come flow through me, absolutely everything fell into place. I am now living a life of leisure with a beautiful husband and I can draw what I want into my universe at will.’

What does it take to be a love magnet, or a money magnet, or a health magnet?

It takes a shift in perception and really, that’s all it takes.

We choose what to focus on. We choose to be really bummed out when it rains, or we choose to appreciate the downpour as a great opportunity to take care of indoor activities, or even better, to leave the umbrella at home and go for a walk. One person’s inconvenience is another’s puddle splashing fun.

When we focus on good, good comes to us. When we focus on grief, we grieve. This is not to say there’s no place for grief in life, it’s just to say, we need to be mindful that we’re not suffering over our own suffering. We do not need to be grief magnets.

I overheard a girl in a café the other day telling her friend, ‘I’m a freak magnet. I can’t leave my apartment without running into someone either clinically insane or whacked out on drugs or fanatical about some weirdness who wants to have extensive interaction with me.’

The friend responded, ‘That’s so strange. You live in a really nice place, in a really nice neighborhood. You wouldn’t think there’d be that many weirdoes around.’

‘They’re everywhere I am. It’s like they’re out there waiting for me to leave my house just so they can shout in my face or try to get me to join their cult.’

I thought to myself how awful it was for this girl to have this belief about herself, that no matter where she goes, no matter what she’s doing, she’s going to draw the lowest common denominator to her.

This is really how attraction works. What you think about yourself, you are. What you believe about the world, is your reality. What you speak, is your truth.

I almost wanted to say to her, ‘You know, you could just as easily not be a ‘freak magnet’ by simply telling yourself that you’re another kind of magnet.’ Then I realized that, sadly, my intrusion would only further confirm her self-diagnosis and she’d misinterpret my advice as more freakery, as in, ‘Yeah, this guy came up to me in the café and told me to be another kind of magnet. He looked pretty normal, but what a freak!’

So whatever your beliefs are about the world, I implore you, take this freak’s advice and adjust it to bring you all that you ever wanted and not the lowest common denominator.

Kenrick

PS... Be sure to post your comments and thoughts on the blog.

Hi,

Recently I began looking for quotes that show the power of belief.

What I found surprised me.

While I prefer to focus on the positive, these show just how powerful beliefs can be. (I'll be posting more of these on Twitter so be sure you are following me there. And of course, I'll follow you back. Just click here to add me.)

Here's a few of what I found.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." (Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895)

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." (Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943)

"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home." (Ken Olsen, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977)

"The telephone has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." (Western Union internal memo, 1876)

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." (Marshal Ferdinand Foch, French commander of Allied forces during the closing months of World War I, 1918)

From a persuasion standpoint, you can clearly see the problem you'd have if you needed persuade any of these people. Their beliefs would clearly need to be addressed. But it goes beyond merely addressing them. This effects their entire world view. And if others had bought into their positions, where would we be today?

But the bigger lesson here is the realization that beliefs (including values) really do run our lives. They shape what we see and what we don't see. They enable us to be rich and successful or poor and limited.

The great thing is that WE HAVE CHOICE.

Examine what you believe about why you are where you are today. Examine why you do or do not have the money you want. And examine why you are creating the life of your dreams or are manifesting the excuses as to why you don't have it. It's your choice - choose well.

Now, tell me your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you. And while you're at it, share this post on Twitter, if you would.

Kenrick

Sure enough. Tony Robbins said that to a woman crying her eyes out when
we worked with her on stage.

And guess what happened.

She stopped crying.

In fact, she just stopped.

Finally she stammered, "What do you mean?"

And Tony told her she was crying so hard it looked like someone peed on her
face.

She was silent and than began to laugh.

Tony was able to move her to a place where he could work on her problem.

A lot of the people you meet as a persuader are stuck in their own minds.

And we as persuaders need to be able to ask them - "Who Peed On Their Face".

However, I suspect if you aren't on stage like Tony AND you don't have
Tony's leverage,
that might not be the wisest strategy.

Instead, let me show you how I persuade today using Kenrick's Persuasion
Interrupts.

Go here to view the short video:

http://www.maxpersuasion.com/persuasion_interrupts

Hi,

I just read a great article by Marci Shimoff, author of Happy for No Reason, where she talks about having heard a new term called Brightsiding.

Marci says, "It's based on the belief that although you can't control the outer events of your life, you can control your outlook. The main components of brightsiding are expressing gratitude, maintaining a sense of humor, and enjoying time with the people you love."

Marci suggests a way to implement the word:

1. Identify a difficult situation you are encountering.

2. List 3 things you are grateful for about that situation.

3. Find one thing, no matter how small, that is humorous about what's happening.

Being grateful is a really profound thing you can do for yourself. And being grateful for aspects of difficult situations helps them to pass more easily. If you learned the lesson, the energy isn't stuck and you can move on.

I found a really great application for my new Iphone that helps me maintain this focus all the time and keep me brighsiding. You can see it here: http://happytapper.com/. If you have an Iphone, it's $.99.

Thanks to Marci for giving me another really great word to add to my lexicon. You can learn more about Marci and her work here: www.HappyForNoReason.com/.

Practice Brightsiding today and watch your world turn better right before your eyes.

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

I read an interesting article recently, the point of which said the number one question people ask of themselves, basically human being's most favorite question is: What if? I don't know if the writers of the article have any research backing it up, but on a gut instinct, it seems about right (and from three decades of learning and constantly attempting to perfect my skills as a persuasion expert, I am very well acquainted and comfortable with my gut instincts.)

What if? What the article said is that the problem with asking this question is that most people go the wrong direction with it. They say, what if I don't make any more money? What if life goes to hell in a hand basket? What if there's a problem? What if I don't succeed? What if I embarrass myself?

That's the wrong direction for it to go. The right way to use 'what if' is this: what if this works magnificently? What if this becomes the way of the future? What if I discover a way to be on the leading edge? What if life becomes so good, that it just is unreal? What if I'm thrilled with where this takes me? In other words, ask what if but work upward with it, not downward with it. Read the rest of this entry »

"Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." Charles Dickens

Hi Persuader,

We're all affected, some teetering on the edge of hope, some finding the silver lining, some succumbing to fear, and some not even knowing yet how they're affected. I'm remaining in the silver lining camp. It's always the best way to raise your vibration. Finding that quiet, calm place and looking at the long term, bigger picture, the one in which I'm the creator of my universe.

I understand that it's not easy to keep the positive focus in times of trouble. I understand that when the crap hits the fan, it's less likely that one will reflect upon their plentiful blessings and not on misfortunes and the crap itself. In the midst of misfortune, it's hard to accept that what goes down, must come up.

Charles Dickens' quote above is very prescient. As a child, Charles' family was moderately wealthy, but when Charles was 12 years old, his father was arrested and brought to debtor's prison. After that, Charles had to go to work, 10 hour days with no child labor laws, and lived away from his family. Adversity overcome, focus on plenty. And still, he ended up describing these debtor's prisons in his many of his books.

I don't know if young Charles looked at his life back when he was 12 and thought, I'm so blessed. But he came to realize that there's an ebb and flow to life (clearly indicated in the above quote and his life story).

This ebb and flow is part of all of our lives. If there were no ups and downs, how would we know when we felt anything? If it all just stayed static, there would be nothing to compare.

Most, if not all of us, have experienced the death of a loved one or a break up from a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, or a financial setback, or an illness or accident that we didn't believe we could overcome. Maybe we even felt like whatever sadness or pain or fear we felt would never subside. But the fact that you're reading this right now is an indication that you survived. And maybe even realized that when one door closes another one opens, as in, maybe the change or setback was only an incubation period and helped to make us more who we are, stronger, smarter, wealthier, happier.

I often think about one of my employees who was living in New Orleans at the time of Hurricane Katrina. She's told me on several occasions that it was heart wrenching and traumatic, and yet, she's happier now than she ever was in the south. She feels blessed with her friends and new town and especially with her new job.

The old cliché, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, while framed in a somewhat negative fashion, is really a very comforting thought. The current economic struggles we may be facing are uncomfortable, infuriating, frustrating, and they are not going to kill us. So the lucky outcome is that we're going to be much stronger in the future.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"You cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your present circumstances unless you change." --Les Brown

Hi Persuader,

It's not possible to avoid change. Sure, you can keep the same clothes, the same haircut, keep your house decorated the same, hold on to the same mate, try to keep your children close even as they go off to make their own lives and families, live in the same city, attempt to keep the same job, attend the same church, have the same friends -- all of that -- and still change happens -- inner and outer. Our bodies age, knees start to creek, it's harder to sleep through the night --

The two presidential candidates are bargaining that we want change. In the sense that the country isn't doing as well as it should and could be doing, yes, people want change. Obama talks about McCain being "eight years of the same failed policies". McCain has attempted to get in on distancing himself from these failed policies by using the phrase "change is coming". And indeed, no matter what, change is coming.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe has the right view of this: "We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden." Read the rest of this entry »

Hi Persuader,

Man, there's all sorts of chaos going on out there in the world. Seems like with the elections, the bailouts, the hurricanes, the anniversary of 9/11 -- all that, and then the holidays are coming -- more chaos (no matter what you think of the holidays, they are absolute chaos).

This is the perfect time to really check in with ourselves and get some inner work done. As the world swarms around out there, having a solid inner foundation is critical in maintaining our equilibrium. This is the case in good times and bad, however it is mainly in bad times that we rely our foundations in a significant way.

When's the last time you spent a little time alone? Remove all disturbances -- television, computers, your iPhone or Blackberry and cut off the outside for just a little while. I'm not suggesting you have to full out meditate (though there's so much phenomenal benefit to meditation that's an entirely different article), I'm simply suggesting you listen to your inner voice for an hour or two.

There's a beautiful quote by Lord Byron: "In solitude, we are least alone." I think this is just amazing. It's said that we are our own worst enemies, but I've decided that's bad programming and have reprogrammed it as, we are our own best friends.

Maybe use this time to write out your universes or write in a journal. If cleaning soothes you (and I know a few people for whom this is true), then go crazy. Wash that kitchen floor or re-alphabetize your CD or book collection. Hell, why not pick up one of those books and read something inspiring.

If you're so inclined, how about a little yoga? I understand there's a yoga practice where you're moving very slowly in a very hot room. (Not my cup of tea, but I can see how it might be good for the aches and pains.)

What else can you do for yourself? Practice forgiveness and gratitude. I've written about both of these before at length and can attest from personal experience and the experience of many of my students that these are two of the most clearing practices you can perform and will garner for you untold benefits.

And how about this: say no when you don't want to do something. This is a tough one but really vital to caring for yourself. I personally don't have an issue saying 'no', but I've met a number of people who feel that it is rude or they become uncomfortable and worried that they will make someone else uncomfortable.

All of these things not only have the benefit of shoring you up and building and maintaining a strong, unflappable foundation, they will also improve your energy, your mental health, your physical health, your spiritual health, how effective you are in all aspects of your life, how happy you are overall, and it will give you a great outlook when the world outside seems to be instable.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."
--Melodie Beattie

Hi Persuader,

I like being ahead of the curve. I like being early. I like winning contests and arguments and being tops in my field. In short, I like to win.

Part of what makes me a winner is you. I should say that differently: you, my clients and students, sustain me and inspire me and force me to be the best I can be. You are responsible, in a large part, for how I continue to grow and expand.

I appreciate you and I am grateful for you. I strive to bring you the newest innovations, techniques and strategies in persuasion so that I can return the favor and help you to be all that you can be, to inspire, and help you grow and expand.

Gratitude comes in all shapes and sizes -- a kind word, a short thank you note, a compliment. It also has the added bonus of drawing more things to us for which we can be grateful.

Gratitude should be part of our daily lives and not just reserved for Thanksgiving or receipt of a gift. It can have an impact on us mentally, spiritually, physically, and socially. It shores us up during hard times. Some studies have even shown that a daily serving of gratitude and optimism helps our immune systems. Not to say that we should forego the apple a day, but how about an apple a day combined with appreciation and a positive mental attitude? That would be incredibly powerful.

So thank you. Thank you for learning with me, thank you for teaching me things I may have never learned without you, thank you for your kind words of encouragement, thank you for posting to the forum and doing your homework and referring your co-workers, thank you for reading my blog and making comments, thank you for all of your hard work, thank you for your continued support and appreciation professionally and personally, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your success, thank you for contributing to and being a large part of my success, thank you for your friendship and love, thank you for your insights and constructive criticism on what I can do to better myself and my program.
I could go on and on, because I do experience and feel gratitude for you all on a daily basis.

Now, what are you grateful for? How can even the most chaotic, confusing times beget order and clarity when viewed through the prism of gratitude? And when's the last time you told the people in your life how much you appreciate their support, their love, and their mere existence? I know they would love to hear it.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

I'd like to tell you a story about a student of mine who has experienced something magical as a result of the things he's learning in this course. I know, I know, this might seem kind of self serving, but I'm going to give you the key to his success for free.

This student is doing quite well financially, he is healthy, on the young side, mid to late thirties, he's got a nice house which is almost paid for, no other debt, a beautiful car, and he's a good looking guy. The one thing he felt he was missing was a really happy, reciprocal, committed relationship.

I suppose this falls under the 'seduction/attraction' heading and yet, it is pure persuasion and can be applied to any facet of life.

Here was his problem: he wasn't good at saying what he wanted, only what he didn't want in a mate. Can you see the inherent problem with this? Well, there are a few problems with this, but the main one is, he was operating out of a negative space and not coming from the pure, positive place of being in dominion.

"I don't want another person who's primarily looking for someone with money. I don't want children, so the woman I'm looking for doesn't want them either. I don't want someone who's going to cheat on me. I don't want this, I don't want that. . . '

You get the point.

The second biggest problem with this is that there was a vagueness and formlessness to the type of person he was looking for.

The strange thing is, he didn't do this with his work life or in his relationships with friends and family, he was just stuck with this one aspect and the more 'stuck' he felt, the more frustrated he became thereby causing a chain reaction. . .

So what did he do? Well, as a result of the Universe System, which I go through with all my beginning (and advanced students ongoing), he mapped out exactly what it is that he wanted in a woman. I suggested he make an exhaustive list of all the things he wanted and to keep it in a positive light.

His list included things like, 'I am in a committed, monogamous relationship with a spiritual, intelligent, funny woman around my same age who is healthy, happily without children, wants to travel, and loves what she does for a living."

It went on and on and was as detailed as he could make it.

I'm happy to say that as a result of this list making (and with the help of one of those online dating services where he very specifically outlined his wants and desires), my student has found the woman of his dreams and is planning to ask her to marry him. I couldn't be happier for him.

Of course, there's the in between part between meeting someone and falling in love and getting married, which also include aspects of persuasion (such as creating rapport, mirroring and matching, et cetera), but the first step is to be very specific and send out into the universe exactly what you want.

This holds true for every single aspect of your life. So get out there and make some lists and make them as detailed as possible, to attract whatever it is you want into your life.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland