Hi Persuader,

There are many reasons for conflict but they ultimately can be distilled into the fact that we all have different mental models of how the world works. These mental models are both helpful and hurtful. On the one hand, they are incredibly helpful in the way that they simplify our lives and save us the energy of having to rethink every single viewpoint we have each time we're confronted with a situation.

These models are all contextual. We have different models for each facet of life, from who we decide to be friends with, to what kind of music we listen to, to the kinds of food we eat and the make of car we drive.

Your parameters and mental model for restaurant selection might be that the restaurant use only locally grown produce and have primarily a vegetarian selection at reasonable prices. Your friend might have a mental model that dictates they only dine in higher end restaurants that have the finest wines and choicest cuts of meat. These are the opposite ends of the spectrum and there probably isn't much of a compromise for the people at either end in finding a place they can dine together (i.e. the financial aspect alone is in essence a "deal breaker" if neither is willing to budge).

Or take for example your choice in where you live. One person wants to live in a metropolitan area surrounded by activity, shops, theater, restaurants, galleries, and diversity and their partner wants to live in a rural or small town atmosphere where there is grass in between the houses and one stop sign in town.

We don't really understand consciously that these mental models are in action until we come up against someone who has opposing mental models. If you're among likeminded people in an isolated atmosphere, you can definitely avoid the knowledge of personally understanding there are other models of the world that are possible. It's not that you don't realize these other beliefs are out there, however, because you know differences of belief are out there at least according to television, movies, and the internet.

Problem arise when we are not conscious of our mental models. We can get stuck and be stubborn and think ours is the only way. I've seen this happen with older folks in my family -- there's a right way and a wrong way, and that's how it is. Period. They think that there is only one way for the world to work and the problems of the world lay in the non-compliance of everyone who doesn't share their world view.

That would be an incredibly heavy burden, to be the keeper of the "truth" as to how the world works.

How does this fit into persuasion? Well, this falls under the heading of knowing thyself. When we excavate our own mental models, we can reverse engineer where things aren't working, or if they are working, we can reverse engineer to see how we've become so successful at what we manifest.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

One of the first things I teach to new students is the process of eliciting criteria. This is a simple process, but not necessarily easy. I am of the opinion that the greatest truths in life are the simple ones, are the clear ones, the ones that make the most amount of sense.

If you haven't yet elevated the elicitation and utilization of criteria to one of the greatest truths in life, you soon will. For me, this ranks right up there with the law of gravity, the law of averages and the law of attraction.

Something came to me this week as I was creating a new lesson plan for my Elite Coaching Club. There was a change that happened in my life years ago that I've identified rather strongly now. I used to sell using SAD -- the standard American diet of poor sales. I used simply regurgitate features and benefits, cross my fingers, and pray that the person wanted to buy what I was selling.

Then came the big shift: I began using criteria and everything changed. I didn't have to cross my fingers anymore because I was selling, selling like crazy, selling like gravity, selling like averages, selling like magnetic attraction.

If you're in sales, odds are you were taught this SAD way of sales. Think back to when you first started this. Do you recall times when your prospect would identify with something that you were saying and they would say, 'Yes! I want what you have to offer.'

Do you recall the elation that you would feel? I hit on something they want!! I think we're going to have a deal here!!

This didn't happen as often as I wanted because this was before I understood the power of criteria and I would just get elated. I would think, I really figured it out this time.

The problem was that the elatedness I felt was transient because I didn't figure it out, I lucked into it.

The fact is that we had successes in the past, but they didn't happen with the regularity that we really wanted. So we began the process of working on developing ourselves. And if you're involved with me, then the process of criteria elicitation has changed the way you sell.

There's an assuredness that came over me which is something I wish for you too.

It's a shift, an emotional difference was one of having the tools and the ability, and it's a foregone conclusion that I would use them to the benefit of my clients and myself, to really ensure that I could do something to help them.

So to that end, I want you to begin to take on that emotional quality as you start to use the tools of criteria. It's a foregone conclusion that you know how and will use these tools to help your client and you come to an understanding of what can be done. And as you do that, you're setting in motion profound levels of rapport and belief in the mind of that client that will easily get them to give you all of the information you need to rapidly secure their criteria, and more importantly even, their high values.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Hi Persuader,

There are lots of things to worry about. If you're paying any attention at all to the news, you can see these things everywhere, on all levels, from inflation, oil prices, antibiotic resistant bacteria, the housing market is crumbling, earthquakes and tsunamis, the crazy out of control deficit and the weak dollar, the polar bears -- um. . . I could go on, but A) we all know what's going on and B) I am making the conscious decision to nurture the beautiful things in life and impact the present with positivity.

It's a challenge. From every angle, we're pushed to interact on a very fearful, scarcity driven level. It is my desire in life to act as a catalyst for courage and abundance, self persuasion to the point of shifting reality, switching frames for everyone that I come in contact with.

What does this mean? Well, it means I am opening myself up to new ventures. While at one point I was the 'go to' man for all your persuasion needs, I am expanding my horizons in order to become your 'go to' man for hope and abundance in a world that on the very surface seems sorrowfully short on both.

It's about filling the void -- not with things (though I happen to love things -- and if you know me at all, you'll know that I am a lover of books and technology) but with inner resources and proper mindsets.

The law of resonance works like this: say you're an unbelievably happy, upbeat, positive person, and you are working with a very depressive, negative person. . . well, it's like the rock and the hard place. Either their energy will come up to meet you or your energy will begin to be depleted. Most likely, the two levels meet somewhere in the middle. That's how it works on an unconscious level, at least.

My goal is to bring this law of resonance to a very conscious level so that the events and people around you, while they may seem hopeless, are not. My suggestion is that the vibration of everything in your world can be raised up to meet you. Again, this doesn't happen passively, but happens instead through deliberate, mindful optimism.

This isn't to say there won't be moments where you need a little support in life, some fortification, someone to build you up when you have challenges. And I am geared to be that for you. I'm relentless about enriching our lives through pure, unadulterated hope. My goal is to teach you to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Howard Thurman

Hi Persuader,

It is my belief that life is about learning lessons. Early in life we were taught lessons by adults and siblings who might have passed on incorrect information to us and maybe we've spent a long time sorting out for ourselves what is right and what is wrong, what is correct and what is incorrect, what works for us and what doesn't.

If you frame these life lessons as maps, you will see that these maps don't always lead us in the right direction because they are inaccurate; if the map doesn't agree with the reality, then the map is most certainly wrong. So many people get caught up in conflicts because they never realize that the pillars of their education, the pillars of their faith, and the pillars of their social orientation, might not have been laid out accurately for them.

Overcoming this and recalibrating is what persuasion is all about. Self persuasion, persuading loved ones, persuading our prospects and clients -- this is charting new territory and creating a new guide based on what is appropriate and true for where we are now and where we dream of going.

Learning how to persuade ourselves allows us the ability to explore this new territory. When we begin the process of self exploration and self knowledge, we become the cartographers of our lives. This can be as messy or as elegant as you want it to be, it can be a struggle or you can transform with ease. Many people operate under the assumption that change and growth are 'difficult' like child labor. I choose to operate under the assumption that change flows through me and struggle only comes in when I resist.

When I was a young man my father offered to train me to take over for him in his very lucrative business in convalescent homes. My future was laid out before me with all the money I could ever need. Of course, I had to work my way up from dishwasher through the ranks, but if I stuck with it, I would one day be the owner of this in no time.

It was a crossroad. Do I work my way up the ladder to a guaranteed spot at the top in a business that was not in my heart? Or do I go it alone in the world and create something from nothing for myself?

Obviously, I chose the latter. And it was a struggle because at that point I hadn't yet realized the key to living life with elegance and ease and still had old, outmoded information that I needed to shed.

Are you alive? If not, what do you need to come alive?

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Because I have a teenager, I'm hip to some of the more . . . well, hip things going on out there. And because my business is primarily virtual, I am well aware of the extreme power of the internet. In combining both the cutting edge hipness and the extreme power of the internet, I've recently (I know, I know, it's a little after the fact) become acquainted with Facebook.

I had heard about Facebook, but didn't really understand what it could bring to me, or what I could bring to it. And now I'm sold (despite the fact that it's free).

This site along with Twitter (which I recently blogged about) are social and business networking sites, Web 2.0 style, that absolutely have the ability to revolutionize business.

It all starts out like kids in schoolyard, sort of sweet, like, 'Will you be my friend?' People you've worked with in the past, current clients and potential prospects, people with similar interests, friends that you may have in common, even strangers who just like the look of you or the message you're putting out -- you can respond to their friend requests (or they can respond to yours) and you will get a little message on your thread that simply says that you and that person are now friends.

As I write this, I now have 183 friends and growing, and that after only one month on Facebook. (If you want to be my friend, here's my page: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=715037097)

What are the possibilities here? I happen to think the sky's the limit. (I always think the sky's the limit.) I am looking for people who have their hands raised. This is the real core of marketing and networking. I am looking for people I can connect with who I can truly help to flourish and grow with persuasion training. My intention is to reach as many people I can for mutually beneficial relationships.

On a side note: another aspect of marketing I'm exploring is that I now offer my clients 20% of every student they bring me. That's 20 % of every Elite Coaching Club member, every Persuasion Factor member, and any future program I offer. What does this mean to my students? Well, as long as they're in the program, if they bring me five Elite Coaching Club students, they can be in my Coaching Club for free. WOW!! That's huge.

I have really exciting plans for 2008 that I will be unveiling in the coming months that I'm absolutely thrilled about and that I am certain will thrill you too. As always, I am eager to hear what is on your mind, my students, and what I can do to improve your experience and learning of persuasion and the benefits it is bringing to your life.

So for now, I'd ask you to sign up on Facebook, look me up, become my friend, and stay tuned for the amazing things to come.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland