Hi Persuader,

In business, we have rules of decorum, obviously, but I am of the opinion that some rules were meant to be bent. Not broken entirely, but molded and bent to suit your persuasive needs.

Part of "professional decorum" is not getting "too personal". But I contend that personal is exactly what people crave.

Storytelling is an art, as much of life is. Being creative within the context of a business relationship is an amazing way to make and keep lifelong clients and customers.

Something that creates a sense of rapport in a very fast and powerful way is the statement, 'Let me share a secret with you. . .' Hmm. A secret? Doesn't everyone want to know a secret? Doesn't it make you feel "special" to know that you're about to be one of the special few that will know this information?

Working 'secrets' and personal anecdotes (nothing absurd, but definitely pointed and geared toward the matter at hand) speeds up our client's and prospect's trust in us as the answer to their needs.

In seminars I often share personal stories from my youth. I have even been known to really open up about some mistakes I've made in the past as they relate to persuasion in terms of not really completely understanding that honesty and integrity have always got to be the highest things on the list. These are very difficult stories for me to recount because I'm not particularly proud of tactics I used as a young man. It's not pleasant to relate things that I feel are real blotches on my personal inventory. And yet, because I have learned from my past, overcome incongruencies in my way of existing in the world, a little discomfort can be endured because I'm making a point, teaching a lesson on what to do and what *not* to do.

When I get into the more personal aspects of teaching like this, I also make sure to step outside of the first person and enter into a meta state to explain how this personal storytelling can really be an art.

When you think about it, you can be an artist at nearly anything. You can be an artist at creating amazing friendships. You can be an artist in business. You can be an artist of persuasion. Some of our creativity within certain arenas is natural. . . we've got it to start with and we can make magical things happen as a result of it. Other things are learned. I wasn't born the persuader I am today. I have put years and years into my art and each and every day I wake up and realize what all that hard work has done for me.

My suggestion. . . find a personal story that relates to your business and start relating it to your prospects and clients. Watch how this quickens rapport and trust by magnitudes. We all crave a good story.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

In a previous article, I asked for your stories on overcoming blockages to abundance and affluence but I didn't give any exercises for those of you who may have not yet overcome these blockages.

One idea is to use the tapping method of EFT which I describe in 'Tap Into Freedom'. This technique yields phenomenal results for a vast array from phobias to sorrows, habits to negativity.

Another suggestion is to really polish your universes and include in them affirmative statements about your status, your relationship to affluence and your affluent clientele, about your confidence, about your public persona, about your business persona and about your personal feelings of worthiness and deservedness.

Next to EFT, I credit my universes (as well as a fair amount of intention, dedication and skinless chicken breasts on top of spinach) with having shed over 140 pounds. And let me assure you, I used all of the techniques I teach on myself.

If you find that these two exercises have a degree of success but are still plagued with some negativity, try placing a rubber band around your wrist and whenever you experience a negative, nasty, insecure thought, snap that rubber band as hard as you can handle, and replace that negativity with something positive.

In a recent post I talked about cleaning out your attic, the fundamentals of forgiveness and really letting go of the things that hold us back. An example of this for the student I mentioned in my last article, would be to forgive their father for instilling in them a huge fear of scarcity and a somewhat unhealthy relationship to affluence and abundance. Clear it out. Bring it to the dump because Goodwill doesn't want it. It's absolute garbage.

As if that's not enough to get you started. . . How about 'Trying On Someone Else's Skin'? When you are metaphorically inside your affluent prospect or client, you have absolutely no room for self-consciousness because you're not 'yourself', you're them.

Or maybe 'Surrounding Ourselves with Pink Bubbles' might be a good trigger for you.

Ultimately, if you're really concentrating on your persuasion, your rapport building, criteria elicitation, and really, truly focusing on your prospect, I dare say, you don't really have much time to experience very much self-consciousness.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

We didn't all grow up affluent. I know for a fact that several of my students, in fact, are literally rags to riches stories. Through single-minded perseverance, intention, education, hard work, and maybe a little luck, they have created financial universes for themselves that are quite enviable and outstanding.

But what obstacles internally needed to be overcome to attain an unselfconscious relationship with affluence and their super affluent clientele? It's so individualized a journey. Many people who grew up in poverty, once they've attained a degree of comfort still cannot let go of their fear of scarcity. One example of this came from a student whose father grew up during the depression and, as if that weren't difficult enough, became an orphan at the age of thirteen.

His father's feelings of guilt at the loss of his mother, his being accustomed to having very little, and then feeling the shame of 'charity' in the form of foster parents stayed with him despite his success in later life as a business owner, general contractor and property owner in the very advantageous market of the Bay Area in the 70s and 80s.

So my student grew up with a beautiful house, always had a refrigerator full of food, always had the clothes and necessities of life, and even had his hobbies indulged to an extent. But his father's 'tightness' with money which was seemingly so free flowing, created a real conflict in him in relation to money and this conflict has resulted in very real obstacles in how my student interacts with his affluent clientele. He, despite all his comfort in life, developed a real scarcity fear as well which in turn creates a social and class self-consciousness.

Unfortunately, this social self-consciousness thwarts a fluid relationship with affluence and the affluent and it definitely needs to be overcome.

The first step is coming to the realization that there is no shame in abundance, there is no scarcity of affluence and there is no social self-consciousness that can't be overcome. Think about it. If we are, as I truly believe, here on this planet to learn and thrive, we need to redirect whatever shame has held us back into a new signal.

And once we are right with ourselves, our social confidence, no matter what income level, will skyrocket and we will be able to very naturally enter into any social or business interaction with ease.

I would love to hear your stories of any struggles you've endured in your relationship to affluence, any success stories of how social 'standing' or 'position' held you back and how you reframed yourself as completely worthy of absolutely everything, and what exercises or strategies you used to attain this level of comfort with affluence.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

I credit part of my new physique to the tapping techniques of EFT. I love to teach people how to tap their way to emotional freedom and if you've ever been in one of my coaching groups or at one of my seminars, you'll already be familiar with how to perform this method.

I wouldn't start out with something huge, like 180 pounds of weight loss or a cessation of smoking. Start with something less entrenched. Start with maybe a phobia of spiders or clowns, or a discomfort with crowds or parties (unless these are incredibly severe). Try to choose one that feels do-able just to start with.

Once you've identified a problem, then think of the feeling it creates and measure the strength of the emotion. Give it a rating from 0-10, 0 being no strength at all, 1 being weakest, 10 being strongest.

Once you've given it a rating you're going to tap.

Find the point on the side of your hand you would hit if you were doing a karate chop; it's the fleshy part below the pinky finger and above the wrist. Then you're going to say the set-up statement to correct reversals and you're going to do it three times.

That's what you do. You're going to tap and say a statement. This tapping along with the statement will resolve reversals.

The statement is very, very simple. And if you like, it can be radically embellished upon. But just learn it first and foremost in its simplistic form.

And it is this: "Even though I have this (name the issue, problem, phobia, negativity, deep personal flaw. . . just kidding) I deeply and completely love myself." You're going to fill in the blank with the problem you identified in step one.

Let's say that you procrastinate making the phone calls you need to make. You'd say, "Even though I procrastinate making the phone calls I need to make, I deeply and completely love myself."

So try it.

Take your left hand, extend it out in front of you, take your right hand with the three fingers--your index, your middle and your ring finger--and begin tapping on that karate chop point on your hand, tap, tap, tap, tap and say the following: "Even though I procrastinate making the calls I need to make to customers, I deeply and completely love myself." "Even though I procrastinate making the calls I need to make to customers, I deeply and completely love myself." "Even though I procrastinate making the calls I should be making to customers, I deeply and completely love myself."

Now, there's a 'choreography' so to speak, for the remainder of this exercise.

Above the eyebrow. To the side of the eye. Under the eye. Upper lip. Chin. Collarbone. Under the arm. This is the order we're going to go in, and we're going to tap each a few times while repeating the problem. 'Procrastination in making customer calls.' Tap above the eye. Tap, tap, tap. 'Procrastination in making customer calls.' Side of the eye. Tap, tap, tap. 'Procrastination in making customer calls.' Under the eye. Tap, tap, tap. 'Procrastination in making customer calls.' Upper lip. Tap, tap, tap. 'Procrastination in making customer calls.' Chin. Tap, tap, tap. 'Procrastination in making customer calls.' Collarbone. Tap, tap, tap. 'Procrastination in making customer calls.' Under the arm. Tap, tap, tap.

After one or two passes, see where you rate the problem. Has it moved? Improved? Disappeared completely?

Continue to tap until you've zeroed out the problem and guess what? You're done. People ask, does this last forever? Well, odds are, yes. But what if it doesn't? How about spending another three or four minutes to get rid of it again?

If you've been tapping a while, I would love it if you'd share your success stories. Please comment, comment, comment.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

"You must not only aim right, but draw the bow with all your might." --Henry David Thoreau

Hi Persuader,

I have a friend who I'm going to call Joe for anonymity's sake. He is one of the hardest working men I have ever known. Joe is unbelievably intelligent, talented, knowledgeable on a wide variety of subjects, and physically strong. On top of that, he works long hours and doesn't seem to mind it. Joe also drives an old used truck and works for a paltry hourly wage-not minimum wage-but close.

Why is a man of such obvious attributes always struggling to make end's meet?

I operate under the assumption that we all have the capacity to get what we want. The only determination: what are you willing do to make it happen? The "doing", unfortunately, isn't enough. If it were, my friend Joe would be very successful because he does a lot.

What does it really take? I can tell you hard work is not the answer. I can tell you who you know is not the answer, although it helps. If you happen to be good buddies with Donald Trump you tend to probably have a few extra deals come your way if you're in the league to be able to take advantage of them, but I'll tell you right now that it's what you know, it's working smart, not hard, it's taking the ability to go from a desire to get ahead and a willingness to work, to being able to take what it is that you know and leveraging it for money.

People think that it's the doing that counts. They think, I need to work really hard. I need to come up with good ideas. What about my buddy who works hard but never gets anywhere ever? What's wrong? Is he stupid? Does he just have bad luck? Was he born under a wrong sign? No. It's none of those things in my opinion. If it boiled down to 'the doing', my buddy would be rich. What it does boil down to is 'the being'. That's the key.

What is it then? Well, if you are a painter and you believe that you are a manual laborer and that you'll never have the ability to run your own business, guess what? You'll always be a painter and you'll never run your own business. How much money can you make? Well, as much money as you can afford to get yourself booked out time-wise until your health runs out, I guess.

Intention speaks to the issue of do, have, be. Most people have it backwards. Your intention needs to start off with who you really are, not with what you do.

Most people have it as 'do' what it is that you need to really get ahead in life so that you'll 'have' what it is that you want and then you'll 'be' a success in life. Do, have, be is the order most people put it in and that's absolutely wrong. It's just plain and simple wrong.

The correct order is be, do, have. You first must 'be' the person who is a business person or who is a successful sales person or who is happily married and once you are that person, then you will 'do' what a happily married or rich or successful person does so that one day you can 'have' what those people have and you have become one of them.

That's the proper answer and the first step to all of that is to set your intention to be that person. The key is, though, intention doesn't just help set things in motion, it helps keep things in motion and moreover when we get good at it, it helps direct us to higher and higher levels of success and higher levels of the use of persuasion skills. That's why we work so diligently to make sure our intention is set first so that it helps prod our words and our gestures and our behavior to see when we're missing the mark even before consciously we're aware of it.

Intention is why I'm so passionate about the 'universe' work we do because when we create our universes, when we write down what we are and what we have, we become those things in our visions of the future then we become them in actuality.

I'd love it if you would share your universe stories on the forum. What has been your experience with creating your universes? How has your life changed as a result of setting down on paper your intention to fulfill every dream, wish and desire in every facet of your life?

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Over the past six months, I have been posting on all manner of persuasion techniques, strategies, and tips. For those that have been reading this blog regularly, I'm hoping that you've learned a few things that have helped you get more of what you want. If you haven't figured it out already, I deeply care about what I do. Teaching people to use persuasion to enhance their success and personal lives is a large part of what I'm about. And, learning when a coaching client or training student makes a huge breakthrough in their career and personal life is a tremendous reward.

Recently, while catching up with some of my Elite Coaching Club members, I learned how they have done in the past year. Several have had their best year in their careers! Some have actually even doubled their income! Now, I can be sure they haven't done this just by reading my blog, or listening to the coaching calls. A few have been with me for only a few months. Many have been working with me for several years. My Cleveland Method of persuasion can make a big difference in just a short time. Yet, those that have studied with me consistently for months or years have made just tremendous gains in their lives. There is so much more to be learned in persuasion, that even I continue to learn and increase my skills.

My message today isn't to brag about my students. Though, I am very proud of their progress and growing skills. My message today is to ask YOU what you will do in 2008. Do you know how, exactly, that you'll grow your income and ensure your success in 2008? I want to encourage you to give it some serious thought. Don't settle for another year of marginal gains and wondering if you'll make an acceptable income. Make sure you have a plan to guarantee the accomplishment of the intentions you set for your 2008.

I have already begun improving my training programs and adding elite coaching opportunities for people that are serious about going beyond their usual achievements. Yesterday, I announced the newest Persuasion Factor 2008 training program. I have put a special holiday package together to give even more value to my new students and a discount on the annual price. I'm not going to attempt to sell you here. If you have been reading my persuasion tips and feel they can make a difference in your business and life, then I encourage you to buy the program now. Get the extra value in this offer and get started now.

The MAXpersuasion crew is also working on a new Elite Coaching program that I will be announcing shortly. I am very excited about this one, as it is intended for a truly elite group of financial advisors. The impact I will have with this group will be tremendous. These will be highly successful people already, that have no bounds as to what they want to produce in their life.

I am looking forward to an incredibly successful year in 2008. Great success for my training program students, my coaching club members, and for you. Just remember, any skill that is worthwhile must be developed and used regularly. Begin looking at your intentions for 2008 and take action now.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

Before I get into the 'away' perspective in the towards/away continuum, I want to make a distinction between a truly negative personality and a person who is inclined towards moving away from a problem.

There are some people who think, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' I am not of that opinion. Putting on a happy face for everything is dishonest, even if it's framed in the positive mental attitude way of turning lemons into lemonade or problems into challenges. I see the value in it, but I also see the value in really indulging in the ups and downs of life, experiencing the lows so that the highs feel so much more intense.

Conversely, I don't like to be around people who constantly complain and view the world through the distorted lens of their inconvenience and misery. That kind of vibration, on a sustained basis, will bring your energy down guaranteed.

I am of the opinion that I'd rather have people be honest and accurate, and whether it is positive or negative is beside the point.

With that said, the 'towards and away' continuum is a filter that some (not all) people use when describing their circumstances in a particular context.

Say you've elicited your client or prospect's highest criteria and it turns out to be security. And you say, 'So ultimately, what will having security do for you?'

Now, security is a value that can be either towards or away, so you've got to listen very closely to the answer to this question to determine their direction.

'Security. . .It's going to completely keep me safe. I'm not going to have to worry anymore because I'm just sick and tired of worrying. I don't know what the stock market's going to do and I'm heavily invested in it and I just am tired of worrying.'

Is this person moving towards a solution or away from a problem?

Well, that's pretty obvious. They're definitely trying to move away from the problem.

With 'away' people, one of the prongs on the key to persuasion is what I like to call 'backing the ambulance up to the door'. It's like poking at a wound or sticking your tongue at a sore tooth. (Some people actually do that!) It's like rubbernecking at an accident. It's like helping them wallow in that feeling of fear and worry in order to show them the path to . . .in this case, security.

My response: 'Well, exactly. That's perfectly understandable. Because, really, the stock market is a really terrifying prospect right now. I mean, people have no idea how devastating it's going to be when that thing finally crashes again. And I can totally understand that feeling of sickness and worry. Having no parachute, no safety net, no cushion would definitely be cause for worry. My clients have moved beyond that fear and are naturally safe and secure as a result of working with me.'

Determination of towards/away is a really powerful tool that enriches rapport immeasurably. Don't ever try to force the away oriented person to see the silver lining or look through rose colored glasses. Just go along with them and bask in the fear and horror that you can eventually relieve them of.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

If you missed "Persuasion Continuum: The Key To Your Prospect's Particulars", go read it now.

When I last left you, you were either completely confused about the Persuasion Continuums or you were well on your way to understanding one of the slickest tools in the persuasion toolbox.

To recap: Continuums work most powerfully when you find that the prospect you're influencing is at either end of the continuum not more or less in the middle. In other words, the powerful continuums are the ones where the person is extreme.

Let's say that your prospect is at the far right side of the continuum at the far 'towards' side. And let's say for 'internal/external', well they're right dead in the middle. They don't seem to go either direction, they don't seem to really care. I just would ignore the internal/external in my languaging because that one just isn't going to make a big difference. (I'll get into more detail on the 'languaging' in an upcoming article.)

These continuums are organizing principles for people; they're a filter, a way of looking at things. And, lucky for us, they're habitual, meaning, people tend to keep the same perspective within the context in which you've inquired.

Sometimes big life changes can make these things change, but basically they are a set way of looking at the world.

I've talked about lenses before ("Adjusting Your Lens") and this is a similar concept. Continuums shape the way we view the world.

We have the 'towards and away' lens. We have the 'internal/external' lens. We have the 'options/procedural' lens. These lenses, when you understand them, enable you to focus straight into the mind of the person you're influencing. This is where they start getting real powerful.

The idea is to learn to adjust your language to take advantage of the continuums you hear like notching a key to fit into a lock.

Most of us, we just assume that everybody else thinks the same way we do.

Wrong! They think the way they do.

The very first step is to learn to put your mind into a white board state. You're there to be marked upon by the way your prospect thinks and speaks and you define yourself by those strategies.

I am not talking about changing your values or your beliefs. I'm not talking about changing who you are at your core. I'm talking about changing the way you express yourself to influence another person.

As an example, are you what you eat? Are you the shoes you wear? Are you the car you drive? Are you the city you live in? You are none of these things and you are made up of all of these things. You're a sum total of a great bunch more than what you eat, wear, drive, and where you live.

Are you a belief? No, but you're closer to that than you are a shoe. Are you a value? Well, that's part of who you are. You're part of all those things. When you combine it together you have you.

It's really important to understand that when you change your language, you're not changing who you are, you're changing your shirt, you're changing your shoes, you're changing your tie.

I realized that it's important to have a particular look and so in the last little over a year, I've conformed to that look a little bit more.

Am I inherently different as a person? No. I carry around 140 pounds less fat than I used to, but I still have the same passions and hopes and dreams and beliefs and core values. If I wear a suit or a T-shirt, I'm still the same person.

I'm changing the perception of my message and that's what continuums are. They're a way for you to change your verbal shoes. To change your verbal pants or shirt, and the key to this is to develop flexibility in the way you talk, to have a wardrobe, to take advantage of what the person you're influencing is using and not default to your own continuums.

When we're pushed into a corner and we have to come out swinging, we're going to simply do what it is that we know how to do. And from there, we hope to improve. Every time you're in front of a prospect, you're in a corner, so to speak, and you do what you know how to do as best as you can. The goal is to have flexibility, to increase that.

Remember, that as the context changes from like work to home to love to health, so too will the way a person uses a continuum including not using that continuum at all in some, but not other contexts. Don't assume that because you know the continuum in one context that it will hold up in others.

Are you starting to get it? Odds are, if you've read Persuasion Continuums I and II a few times, the light is starting to come on. Coming soon: Backing the Ambulance Up to the Door: The 'Away' Perspective.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland

Hi Persuader,

So now we have some framing basics. By no means can framing be summed up in three little articles, but in that, there's a beginning foundation from which to build our persuasion arsenals.

Now that we have frames in mind, it's time to examine our lenses. When you wear glasses, you don't walk around with just the frames on, you have lenses that fit your particular prescription.

Some lenses are distorted. The frame an alcoholic or drug addict has is: how can I get more of what I'm addicted to? The lens they're looking through is highly distorted and fraught with denial.

Are all of our specific issues lenses? If these issues are strong enough to warp and distort reality, then I'd say, yes. My whole life I was using a really strong lens when it came to food. I'd think about my next meal as I was eating. My blood sugar was so out of whack that I craved more and more sugar or simple carbohydrates after finishing and filling up on an entire meal. The lens I was looking through was overpoweringly focused on unhealthy foods and fear of scarcity. But by adjusting this view, things have changed dramatically.

On the opposite end of things, consider an anorexic who looks in the mirror and sees themselves as fat when they actually have little or no body fat whatsoever. Distortion.

Some social issues can also be thought of as lenses. I read about a summer camp in Northern California where the campers would go to the camp to 'unlearn' issues of racism, sexism, anti-Semitism. The presupposition of the facilitators of the camp was that if we grew up in the US, we've all been indoctrinated into a racist, sexist society, either subtly or overtly and the only way social change and equality can be achieved is to examine the lenses we've been looking through to view the world.

Now, whether or not you believe this, it's a very strong frame and by 'unlearning' these 'isms', they believed the distortion of the lens is lessened.

What are some other distortions that prevent us from seeing the real picture? How about religious fanaticism? How scratched, cracked and myopic is a suicide bomber's lens on the world? VERY. Their views go WAY beyond framing.

As I mentioned before, addicts have distortions, as do violent criminals, people with mental illnesses, the Klan/Aryan brotherhood. . .they're extreme and often view the world literally in terms of 'black and white'.

What are your extremes? Where do you find your lens distorted? One of the first steps in persuasion excellence is the ability to persuade yourself. I'm not suggesting that we eliminate everything about ourselves that make us who we are, not by any stretch, but I'm just looking to examine where we might have some blockages and/or weaknesses and/or blind spots in relation to ourselves and our outlook on the world. Remember, for all of our beliefs, there's an equally strong opposing belief in someone else.

I'll tell you a little secret. My lens is powerfully, intensely, vigorously focused on persuasion. Some might think to the extreme. Okay, maybe that's not a secret. But it's definitely my lens to the world and I'm thrilled to share it with you.

Need more? Look over our programs that can help focus your lens, or Call Kim about ways to turn up your persuasion power.

Until Next Time,

Kenrick E. Cleveland